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Clips from Arrested Development - Shock and Aww (S01E01)

"Call it off."
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"I'm saying she already spent her inheritance getting here."
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"I'm keeping him."
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"Gob, meanwhile, had finally shown up at the El Amor Prohibido set."
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"- Look, I gotta call you back. - Sweet ride."
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"Hey, guy. They tell me you're the actor who plays Marta's brother, Tio."
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"Are you making dinner reservations?"
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"-? CÛmo? - Oh, you're gonna be in a coma, all right."
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"No, no. That was my Mom. She just had..."
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"Unfortunately, the actor who played Tio..."
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"- a little Korean dropped off. - Ooh, that sounds good. Let's have that."
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"had also starred in a Mexican film about the life of Oscar De La Hoya."
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"- Hello. - And after their date..."
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"Gob. Hey, hey."
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"- You all right? - Where am I? Am I in... two-thirds of a hospital room?"
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"Michael took a step he hadn't taken in years."
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"Yeah, listen, um..."
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"Okay, do you think this is a good idea?"
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"I think it's a great idea."
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"It's me."
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"Mmm."
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"I'm the guy that she likes. Hermano is brother."
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"Such a good idea."
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"Me."
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"But how are we going to sneak in without waking everyone up?"
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"- Well, if I'd known it was you, I wouldn't have minded. - You wouldn't?"
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"We'll take the stairs."
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"Michael, you're a great guy."
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"If you liked her, I would have said, Go for it."
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"This may not have been my best idea."
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"I'm sorry, Michael."
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"I do kind of like her."
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"I'm sorry too, Michael, but it looks like we're even."
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"Go for it."
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"You took something I liked. I took something you liked."
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"Hi."
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"Yeah. l... ... Nashbagerlajam."
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"My brother said we can do it."
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"Listen, I know that you've been trying to get even with me about Marta."
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"That didn't come out as romantic as I'd hoped, but..."
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"But got bad news for ya. I'm seeing somebody else."
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"Everything is finally perfect."
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"Who? Who?"
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"just out of curiosity... I'm not gonna try to sleep with her."
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"Oh, wait. You jinxed it. Don't worry. I'll turn it off."
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"- Forget it. I thought that this was behind us. - It is behind us."
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"Mm. It's just my mother. She's probably worried about my Dad's... hearing."
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"- Great. - When I sleep with her. 'Cause I'm gonna sleep with her."
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"Oh. With my Dad, it is the vision."
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"Meanwhile, Tobias told Lindsay that he couldn't do the part."
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"Yeah. I was lying when I said I wasn't gonna to sleep with her, so..."
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"- It plays naked, okay? - Tobias, we're gonna have to deal with this sometime."
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"- She'd have to agree to it. - I don't anticipate a problem with that."
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"- No? - No. 'Cause I've seen some of the dogs you like."
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"I understand you not wanting to do it on film..."
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"- Right. - I just slept with one."
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"- but you can't even get undressed in front of me. - It is not you, Lindsay."
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"- Again, didn't like Nazhgalia. - Really."
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"I can't get undressed alone. I can't get undressed by myself."
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"- Really, and good luck getting rid of her. - Oh, please."
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"I mean, this is a real affliction. I'm sorry it's not recognized here in the states."
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"Not a problem. She knows it was a one-time thing. Totally cool."
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"But I know for a fact that there are two members of German Parliament."
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"- Oh, so romantic. - Who's N. Bahn-Ahden?"
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"They're called nein wohlstandig nude."
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"Hello."
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"But they're German, so... They speak German, so they have a different..."
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"Hey, George Michael."
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"Yeah, well, it's not normal, and ignoring it isn't gonna make it go away."
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"I wanted to talk to you about something before, but I didn't know if it was real."
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"You've got nothing to be ashamed of."
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"But now, uh..."
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"Please, please don't make fun."
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"your ethics teacher..."
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"I'm not making fun."
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"- Yeah, I just made this for her. - Oh."
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"Look, how 'bout we do this together?"
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"She loves Saddam Hussein."
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"You take off your shirt, and I'll take off my jacket."
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"I'm sure she doesn't love Saddam. I'm sure she is interested in him..."
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"You know, this family can be pretty screwed up sometimes. But the good news is..."
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"as a subject, you know."
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"Actually, I used to think that, too, but it's better than the alternative."
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"Well, have you explored all the alternatives? 'Cause I guess what I'm getting at is..."
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"- Right. That's what I meant. - Great."
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"No, but I'm glad I have this family, you know?"
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"You know, I just wanted to make her something special to show that I care."
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"- About the class? - No. I mean, about her."
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"'Cause I know I said some bad stuff, but it's much better here than it was in Boston."
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"- Oh! - I kind of love her."
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"And I have a cousin here. So even if my parents do get divorced, I have you, right?"
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"You mean, you love her like... like she loves Saddam."
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"George Michael realized that no matter how much it upset him..."
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"- Right? - No, no. I mean, like, love her love her."
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"he didn't want to take Maeby's family away from her."
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"Oh."
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"- Yeah, you got us all right. - Now all I need is a boyfriend."
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"- Oh. - Oh, hi!"
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"Lucille was left alone with her oldest son at the courthouse."
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"Hi, George Michael. I was just..."
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"just you and me, huh?"
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"Iooking at this model home."
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"God, why am I the only one who ever comes through in this family?"
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"I'm gonna go home and think about it."
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"And George Sr. was led into the courtroom."
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"I'm gonna go home, think about it."
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"- Where the hell is everybody? - I'm here, Dad."
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"Dad, what was she doing here?"
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"I can't believe no one showed up. I don't know. Maybe it's for the best."
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"I mean, sh... she wasn't..."
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"Maybe I should just stay in prison so my family can be free."
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"Michael knew he had an ethical responsibility to tell his son the truth."
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"- Look, you're my husband, and you belong back at home with me. - Wow."
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"Yes."
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"- You really love me. - Call it what you want."
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"Your Uncle Gob slept with her."
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"I'm tired of paying Lupe to clean one dish."
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"Well, why would he do that? Why would Gob sleep with my ethics teacher?"
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"I'm sorry, sorry. I'm so late. I had another hearing."
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"- Probably to get even with me. - How would that be getting even with you?"
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