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Clips from Silicon Valley - Third Party Insourcing (S01E01)

"- What? No! - Enjoy your ride."
Silicon Valley
"OK, stay calm. Stay calm."
Silicon Valley
"Wait, my phone."
Silicon Valley
"No bars. No bars. No bars. No bars."
Silicon Valley
"We bring thy garden, o mighty Lucifer,"
Silicon Valley
"the fragrances which abound therein, vapors of..."
Silicon Valley
"What the fuck are we doing here?"
Silicon Valley
"Look at these fucking people."
Silicon Valley
"Through this, the black flame of Satan thou walkest in Hell."
Silicon Valley
"The gates are flung wide"
Silicon Valley
"and thy passage is heralded by the deathless cries"
Silicon Valley
"of his guardian beasts."
Silicon Valley
"Breathe of his breath, o brother of the night"
Silicon Valley
"and nourish his waning brain."
Silicon Valley
"- From the despair... - I just figured it out. It all makes sense."
Silicon Valley
"Figured what out?"
Silicon Valley
"Why Tara might be in to you more than me."
Silicon Valley
"She's attracted to ugliness."
Silicon Valley
"- Oh, fuck you. - No, think about it."
Silicon Valley
"This is the life that she chooses, right? She's attracted to unattractiveness."
Silicon Valley
"Look at all these ugly people and Gilfoyle and now you."
Silicon Valley
"That's ridiculous. I'm way more attractive than you are."
Silicon Valley
"- No, you're not. - Way better looking."
Silicon Valley
"By no metric could you possibly be considered more attractive than me."
Silicon Valley
"You're saying that every woman in the entire world"
Silicon Valley
"would think you're more attractive than I am?"
Silicon Valley
"Yes. Unless they're completely fucked up."
Silicon Valley
"Damn it."
Silicon Valley
"You doing OK there?"
Silicon Valley
"Yep, yeah."
Silicon Valley
"Fine, just, you know,"
Silicon Valley
"it's big orchestration stuff, a lot of moving parts."
Silicon Valley
"Nothing you need to worry about. You just focus on the cloud."
Silicon Valley
"I'm here if you need me."
Silicon Valley
"You know what? Uh..."
Silicon Valley
"I know it's not what we hired you for,"
Silicon Valley
"but I am actually having a little trouble"
Silicon Valley
"with the data replication in the persistence layer."
Silicon Valley
"Move over."
Silicon Valley
"Uh-huh."
Silicon Valley
"Oh, Christ."
Silicon Valley
"I'm much more handsome than you are."
Silicon Valley
"No, my face is completely symmetrical."
Silicon Valley
"You know what my nickname was when I was a kid?"
Silicon Valley
"- What? - Pakistani Denzel."
Silicon Valley
"You look nothing like him."
Silicon Valley
"Denzel Washington has a beautiful smile."
Silicon Valley
"You look ridiculous."
Silicon Valley
"Hail Satan, it is done."
Silicon Valley
"- Hail Satan. - Hail Satan, it is..."
Silicon Valley
"it's done."
Silicon Valley
"Well, thanks for coming, everyone."
Silicon Valley
"Brother Jason was kind enough to furnish this week's food."
Silicon Valley
"It's Chick-fil-A."
Silicon Valley
"I know, they're on the Christian right,"
Silicon Valley
"but darned if that chicken isn't good."
Silicon Valley
"I think the Dark Lord would understand."
Silicon Valley
"Also... a reminder."
Silicon Valley
"If you parked in the Sav-On parking lot,"
Silicon Valley
"they do tow."
Silicon Valley
"Well, I didn't know if you wanted original Oreos or Double Stuf"
Silicon Valley
"so I went a little nutty and I got both."
Silicon Valley
"How's it, um..."
Silicon Valley
"- Fuck. Fuck. - Kevin?"
Silicon Valley
"Hello?"
Silicon Valley
"Fuck."
Silicon Valley
"What are you doing down here?"
Silicon Valley
"I did it again, I did it again."
Silicon Valley
"- Did what? - I did it again."
Silicon Valley
"No."
Silicon Valley
"What is this?"
Silicon Valley
"Did you overwrite the data schema?"
Silicon Valley
"Why would you do this? You don't ever do this!"
Silicon Valley
"That's exactly what they said when I was working at BofA."
Silicon Valley
"Working at BofA? I thought you hacked in."
Silicon Valley
"No."
Silicon Valley
"I was a consultant at the retail banking services."
Silicon Valley
"I crashed their entire system."
Silicon Valley
"It took a team of seven engineers more than a week"
Silicon Valley
"to comb through all the code and find my mistake."
Silicon Valley
"And the only way that I ever avoided being sued"
Silicon Valley
"was by agreeing to never tell anyone that I worked there."
Silicon Valley
"Oh, fuck."
Silicon Valley
"Oh, fuck, what?!"
Silicon Valley
"I just told you. Now I could get in trouble."
Silicon Valley
"Trouble?"
Silicon Valley
"You just skull-fucked my whole system."
Silicon Valley
"I am going to punch you in the fucking..."
Silicon Valley
"We don't like sacrifice goats or anything."
Silicon Valley
"We're not like the Order of the Golden Dawners, you know."
Silicon Valley
"Yeah."
Silicon Valley
"Richard, are you OK?"
Silicon Valley
"Um... Mmm..."
Silicon Valley
"Dinesh, uh, we may have a slight problem."
Silicon Valley
"The Carver just carved up our entire platform."
Silicon Valley
"What the fuck?"
Silicon Valley
"Yeah, the database layers, the application layers,"
Silicon Valley
"even the chef scripts are fucked."
Silicon Valley
"The little fucker must have hacked into the DDL tables like he did with BofA."
Silicon Valley
"He didn't hack into BofA's. He was consulting there at the time,"
Silicon Valley
"when he took down the system by accident."
Silicon Valley
"- Oh, you told them too? - What the fuck?"
Silicon Valley
"Richard, why would you let that little fetus access the DDL?"
Silicon Valley
"Because I thought that fetus was better than me"
Silicon Valley
"and so did you and everybody"
Silicon Valley
"and you just, you pressured me into hiring him..."
Silicon Valley
"Yes, Richard, for the cloud, to deploy the cloud."
Silicon Valley
"So that you could do what you do best"
Silicon Valley
"and concentrate on everything else which the fetus just fucked up."
Silicon Valley
"You need to drag this little shit stain..."
Silicon Valley
"You hear that?"
Silicon Valley
"Out from under this table and have him go through"
Silicon Valley
"every single line of code with you"
Silicon Valley
"to unfuck it while it's still unfuckable."
Silicon Valley
"I should not have eaten all of that Satanist chicken."
Silicon Valley
"OK, and with this one here, did you delete it"
Silicon Valley
"or just move it?"
Silicon Valley
"Hello? Kevin."
Silicon Valley
"Maybe. I don't know."
Silicon Valley
"What? What does that mean? What's wrong with you, man?"
Silicon Valley
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