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Clips from Derry Girls - Episode #1.5 (S01E01)

"Already? They've started already?"
Derry Girls
"Think it's just a rehearsal, love."
Derry Girls
"They've been playing the same three songs since 1795."
Derry Girls
"What do they need to rehearse for?"
Derry Girls
"Well, practice makes perfect, Aunt Mary."
Derry Girls
"You know, that is why they are so cracker."
Derry Girls
"I'm sorry?"
Derry Girls
"Did you just call the Orange Order "cracker"?"
Derry Girls
"I'm considering joining."
Derry Girls
"I don't think they accept Catholics, Orla,"
Derry Girls
"or, you know, acknowledge our right to exist."
Derry Girls
"Give us a hand here, Gerry. This'll not close."
Derry Girls
"We need to shift ourselves."
Derry Girls
"- We're the last Fenians standing. - Relax, love."
Derry Girls
"We've a good two or three hours before the rioting starts."
Derry Girls
"I'll not settle myself until we're over that border, Da."
Derry Girls
"You're absolutely sure we need the big clock, love?"
Derry Girls
"- We've been through this. - Don't want to bring the wee clock?"
Derry Girls
"I can't be doing with the wee clock."
Derry Girls
"What exactly is your problem with the big clock?"
Derry Girls
"I wouldn't say I have a problem, as such."
Derry Girls
"It's just much heavier and takes up a lot of room."
Derry Girls
"I'm telling you, Mary. That's how it starts."
Derry Girls
"Now he's dictating what size of clock you can pack."
Derry Girls
"Next he'll be telling you what to wear, what to say."
Derry Girls
"Before you know it, you'll be faking your own death, assuming a new identity."
Derry Girls
"Erin, I told you not to let him watch that Sleeping with the Enemy."
Derry Girls
"- Couldn't stop him, Mammy. - Great show."
Derry Girls
"Stick that in the boot."
Derry Girls
"You'll be as well getting one of the wains to do it."
Derry Girls
"Out of the way."
Derry Girls
"Right."
Derry Girls
"Listen to it. I mean, just listen to it."
Derry Girls
"They can't... I mean, they don't... Why do they have to be so loud?"
Derry Girls
"- Breathe, love. - It's far worse for me, Clare."
Derry Girls
"- I mean, my hearing is impeccable. - I've read the same paragraph 47 times"
Derry Girls
"because I can't concentrate, because... Oh my God, the noise!"
Derry Girls
"This whale, he's a bad brute, Mrs. Quinn."
Derry Girls
"I have to know if they catch him."
Derry Girls
"Can I come away with you, please?"
Derry Girls
"Okay, well, if your mother has no objections, I don't see why not."
Derry Girls
"Thank you. Thank you."
Derry Girls
"I'll never forget this. Thank you!"
Derry Girls
"She's taking you to a caravan in Portnoo. She's not giving you a kidney, Clare."
Derry Girls
"Listen, Mary. I just did a reading."
Derry Girls
"The cards say if we go on this wee holiday we're placing ourselves in grave danger,"
Derry Girls
"which I'm not buzzing about, to be honest."
Derry Girls
"You're not psychic, Aunt Sarah."
Derry Girls
"I am psychic, Erin."
Derry Girls
"I did a course. I got a certificate."
Derry Girls
"Aye, this does not look good."
Derry Girls
"Still no sign of the lottery numbers?"
Derry Girls
"No, Daddy."
Derry Girls
"This psychic carry-on, it's not all it's cracked up to be, you know."
Derry Girls
"Last night, I woke up to this wailing sound."
Derry Girls
"I thought to myself, "Jesus, it's Granny Pat."
Derry Girls
"She's trying to cross over.""
Derry Girls
"Now, it turned out it was only Aggie next door."
Derry Girls
"She'd put the electric blanket on full whack"
Derry Girls
"and scalded the legs of herself."
Derry Girls
"But still, it could just as easily have been..."
Derry Girls
"The disembodied spirit of a dead relative?"
Derry Girls
"Exactly. My nerves are wrecked."
Derry Girls
"I'm living on a knife's edge here."
Derry Girls
"- Is there any Rice Krispies? - Shh! Shh!"
Derry Girls
"This is the best bit."
Derry Girls
"Okay, everyone. Remain calm."
Derry Girls
"I need you all to listen very carefully."
Derry Girls
"Okay, I'm going in."
Derry Girls
"For the love of God,"
Derry Girls
"don't come in here!"
Derry Girls
"- Everything all right, Mary? - Stay back, Deidre."
Derry Girls
"This place is a death trap."
Derry Girls
"Mary, I hate to do this to you,"
Derry Girls
"but me and Martin are both working nights,"
Derry Girls
"and I'm nervous about leaving these two, what with the day that's on it."
Derry Girls
"Don't suppose you could take them with you?"
Derry Girls
"- Ach, away, Deidre, it's just... - The English thing?"
Derry Girls
"Listen, Mary, I understand."
Derry Girls
"I mean, he's my nephew, and even I find it hard to get past."
Derry Girls
"If I'm totally honest, there's times when I look at him and I feel..."
Derry Girls
"well, it's pure hatred."
Derry Girls
"- I'll not dress it up. - No, no, it's not the English thing."
Derry Girls
"Hope to God it's not the gay thing you're offended by."
Derry Girls
"- There is no gay thing. - Because I'd be disappointed in you, Mary,"
Derry Girls
"- I'll not lie. - Of course not."
Derry Girls
"I mean, if anything, the gay thing sort of cancels out the English thing."
Derry Girls
"Again, no gay thing."
Derry Girls
"You wouldn't move over there, James? I can't see past your massive closet."
Derry Girls
"I'm just not sure we'll have room in the caravan."
Derry Girls
"It'll be grand. Us men can camp outside."
Derry Girls
"- Oh, God. - Oh, God."
Derry Girls
"Run and ask Jim across the road for the lend of his tent."
Derry Girls
"Well, thanks a million, Mary. I owe you one."
Derry Girls
"If you want our Ryan to sort that gable wall of yours out, you've only to ask."
Derry Girls
"What's wrong with our gable wall?"
Derry Girls
"- Christ's sake. - Do you think it's an omen?"
Derry Girls
"Right?"
Derry Girls
"Now watch."
Derry Girls
"- What about that? - Whoa!"
Derry Girls
"I tell you, girls, the double glazing, it'll change your life."
Derry Girls
"Yes, as I said, it's..."
Derry Girls
"it's very impressive, Jim, but we're actually in a bit of a hurry,"
Derry Girls
"so if we could just grab that tent..."
Derry Girls
"Mind-blowing."
Derry Girls
"What are they, stilts?"
Derry Girls
"Golf clubs."
Derry Girls
"I thought... spatulas."
Derry Girls
"- They're rifles. - Really? Are you sure?"
Derry Girls
"Fairly sure."
Derry Girls
"I also don't understand what connection spatulas, golf clubs or stilts"
Derry Girls
"would have to the Irish Resistance."
Derry Girls
"Christ, he's a dose."
Derry Girls
"Right. Once your tent is erect..."
Derry Girls
"...you'll want to think about where to safely store your food,"
Derry Girls
"because believe me, girls,"
Derry Girls
"you do not want to attract predatory animals into your sleeping area."
Derry Girls
"Bears are particularly vicious."
Derry Girls
"Yeah, I'm not sure how many bears there are in Portnoo, though, Jim."
Derry Girls
"But there was a cheetah on the beach one time."
Derry Girls
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