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Clips from The Goldbergs - Baré (S04E04)

"So it's beaches versus peaches."
The Goldbergs
"See my predicament?"
The Goldbergs
"What is this? Why are you talking to me?"
The Goldbergs
"For school. I'm trying to decide between Emory and Miami."
The Goldbergs
"They both have awesome music programs."
The Goldbergs
"Oh! I can actually help you with this."
The Goldbergs
"Neither."
The Goldbergs
"You're telling me you'll pony up for a designer dog bed"
The Goldbergs
"but not your own daughter's future?"
The Goldbergs
"- Yes. - Oh, my God!"
The Goldbergs
"Ohh!"
The Goldbergs
"Doesn't she look like a handsome lady from the 1850s?"
The Goldbergs
"Guess what, nerd."
The Goldbergs
"The dog is definitely Dad's favorite."
The Goldbergs
"Oh, you saw Lucky's new waterbed, huh?"
The Goldbergs
"It's a waterbed?!"
The Goldbergs
"I don't even have one!"
The Goldbergs
"It's like he loves the dog more than his own kids."
The Goldbergs
"I've tried to point it out to him like a hundred times,"
The Goldbergs
"but he won't admit it."
The Goldbergs
"Well, it's time I get him to."
The Goldbergs
"As my sister cooked up a plan,"
The Goldbergs
"Barry was searching for answers."
The Goldbergs
"Pops, you've lived an impossibly long time."
The Goldbergs
"Tell me an old-timey story that reassures me"
The Goldbergs
"a long-distance relationship can work."
The Goldbergs
"Well, I once dated a Tunisian woman named Marwa."
The Goldbergs
"We would swim in the warm waters"
The Goldbergs
"of the Mediterranean during the day"
The Goldbergs
"and become one on the beach at night."
The Goldbergs
"- So it can work. - It did,"
The Goldbergs
"until her father chased me"
The Goldbergs
"around an open-air bazaar with a scimitar."
The Goldbergs
"Why did I go down this incredibly long road with you for nothing?"
The Goldbergs
"I'll be honest with you, kiddo..."
The Goldbergs
"When I started that story, I didn't remember how it ended."
The Goldbergs
"I don't know what I'm gonna do!"
The Goldbergs
"Lainey was supposed to be by my side"
The Goldbergs
"my entire time in medical school."
The Goldbergs
"See? That's the point of my story!"
The Goldbergs
"Love is unpredictable."
The Goldbergs
"Don't try to salvage your stupid story."
The Goldbergs
"I have to figure out how to be with the girl I love"
The Goldbergs
"and go to medical school at the same time!"
The Goldbergs
"But then, there he was..."
The Goldbergs
"The man-boy that would give Barry the answer!"
The Goldbergs
"- Unless... - No!"
The Goldbergs
"Don't look at the boy surgeon and get some farkakte idea."
The Goldbergs
"Nice chat, Pops."
The Goldbergs
"Mother, you relentlessly and unrealistically"
The Goldbergs
"support my dreams more than anyone, right?"
The Goldbergs
"Of course I do, Pumpkin."
The Goldbergs
"Not to overstate it,"
The Goldbergs
"but I'd like to bottle you up and sell you at Bergdorf's."
The Goldbergs
"That's why I need your help to make sure I become"
The Goldbergs
"a fully licensed and accredited doctor"
The Goldbergs
"before Lainey leaves for college."
The Goldbergs
"Um, Boopie?"
The Goldbergs
"It takes years to become a doctor."
The Goldbergs
"But Doogie is 16"
The Goldbergs
"and already does that thing when he yells "Clear!","
The Goldbergs
"then shoots lightning into some dude's heart."
The Goldbergs
"That sounds fun!"
The Goldbergs
"But you're still just a boy in high school."
The Goldbergs
"Step 1, take my GED, graduate tomorrow."
The Goldbergs
"- What's next? - Four years of pre-med at college."
The Goldbergs
"I'll do it in six weeks."
The Goldbergs
"Done. Next. What else you got?"
The Goldbergs
"Actual medical school, which takes another four years."
The Goldbergs
"I'll knock it out in a month."
The Goldbergs
"Boom! Cutting out hearts and playing God."
The Goldbergs
"But to be a cardiologist,"
The Goldbergs
"you need to do a residency at a hospital,"
The Goldbergs
"and that's at least another two years."
The Goldbergs
"I'll do it in two days."
The Goldbergs
"Done! Where are my golf clubs?"
The Goldbergs
"Dr. Tasty's ready to save lives."
The Goldbergs
"Honey, I love you,"
The Goldbergs
"but even I don't believe all that can happen"
The Goldbergs
"before Lainey leaves."
The Goldbergs
"This is so typical of you..."
The Goldbergs
"Never supporting anything I do!"
The Goldbergs
"Don't you say that! I support everything about you!"
The Goldbergs
"Except this. This is insane."
The Goldbergs
"I know! This is hopeless!"
The Goldbergs
"So if I got to choose between being a regular-aged doctor"
The Goldbergs
"and being with Lainey, I choose her!"
The Goldbergs
"Stop. What are you saying?"
The Goldbergs
"If it's between saving millions with my doctoring"
The Goldbergs
"or saving one with my loving,"
The Goldbergs
"then I choose to let millions die."
The Goldbergs
"But I was looking forward to letting my friends"
The Goldbergs
"ramble on about their boring sons,"
The Goldbergs
"and when they asked me about you,"
The Goldbergs
"I'd smugly say, "He's a doctor.""
The Goldbergs
"Not anymore. But I was gonna get"
The Goldbergs
"personalized license plates that say "Doc's Mom""
The Goldbergs
"and steal all your cream samples"
The Goldbergs
"and bother you on family vacations"
The Goldbergs
"when I find a weird bump!"
The Goldbergs
"- Not anymore. - Honey?"
The Goldbergs
"Goodbye, tongue depressors."
The Goldbergs
"I guess I ate all those Popsicles for nothing."
The Goldbergs
"As Barry's plan for his future was losing steam,"
The Goldbergs
"Erica heated things up in the kitchen."
The Goldbergs
"Yep, she used a single smoke alarm"
The Goldbergs
"to prove that Lucky was our dad's favorite."
The Goldbergs
"Fire."
The Goldbergs
"Fire!"
The Goldbergs
"Come here, Lucky. I gotcha."
The Goldbergs
"I'll rescue you, my little princess!"
The Goldbergs
"And so my dad proved her point..."
The Goldbergs
"Insultingly quick."
The Goldbergs
"I can't believe you, dude!"
The Goldbergs
"How could you save the dog over us?"
The Goldbergs
"It's a dog! She doesn't know from fire alarms! You do!"
The Goldbergs
"Just admit it... Lucky is your favorite child."
The Goldbergs
"You're just upset 'cause I won't pay"
The Goldbergs
"for some fancy out-of-state school."
The Goldbergs
"No, I'm upset because you don't care."
The Goldbergs
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