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Clips from Human Resources (2022) - The Addiction Angel (S01E01)

"What? No, no, no, no, no. Doug's not an addict."
Human Resources (2022)
"Hey. I just go where The Tube tells me,"
Human Resources (2022)
"and The Tube says that Doug is addicted to something."
Human Resources (2022)
"-Quickly now!"
Human Resources (2022)
"Sneaky piggies don't deserve to chew their wicked goodies."
Human Resources (2022)
"-Where's that water I asked for? -Uh… Sorry, babe. Sink's being so weird."
Human Resources (2022)
"-Really, Doug? -Pop Tarts?"
Human Resources (2022)
"They're for children!"
Human Resources (2022)
"Oh! Hide the wrappers in your pockets"
Human Resources (2022)
"so no one discovers what a deceitful little sugar bitch you are."
Human Resources (2022)
"-Oh, God. I am a little sugar bitch. -Lionel, get out of here!"
Human Resources (2022)
"Fine, fine. But it's not me you should be worried about…"
Human Resources (2022)
"You know, I like to stick my Pop-Tarts in the microwave."
Human Resources (2022)
"-Whoa! You don't toast them?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Nope. Because I like the frosting cool to the touch,"
Human Resources (2022)
"but the filling all gooey and warm."
Human Resources (2022)
"You've got good ideas."
Human Resources (2022)
"Hey, Doug! Don't listen to Kangaroo Jack over here."
Human Resources (2022)
"Yeah. What happened to our plan? Just four weeks of no sugar, remember?"
Human Resources (2022)
"I tried. But that, like, made me want sweets even more."
Human Resources (2022)
"Well, guess this sweetheart is addicted to sweets."
Human Resources (2022)
"-It's harmless enough, isn't it? -Not if it fucks with his wedding."
Human Resources (2022)
"Hey! We won't let that happen."
Human Resources (2022)
"Doug! Where's the water? Now the curtains are on fire too!"
Human Resources (2022)
"-Oh, shit! Coming!"
Human Resources (2022)
"First off, thanks for sitting down with us."
Human Resources (2022)
"We know you're very busy."
Human Resources (2022)
"Let's cut to the chase, my friend."
Human Resources (2022)
"We think you could do better than Maurice Beverley."
Human Resources (2022)
"He's a great Hormone Monster, one of the best. But he's spread too thin."
Human Resources (2022)
"With us, you'd be the star."
Human Resources (2022)
"I'm intrigued by having both of you watch me, yes,"
Human Resources (2022)
"but I've been with Maury a long time."
Human Resources (2022)
"And he takes you for granted! He wrote in your file… Look right here."
Human Resources (2022)
""Andrew's like AstroTurf, low maintenance, but unappealing up close.""
Human Resources (2022)
"Huh. Don't love that."
Human Resources (2022)
"Your file also shows a lot of Diane Lane movies,"
Human Resources (2022)
"but has Maury never shown you Laura Dern?"
Human Resources (2022)
"-Laura Dern… -The Dernster."
Human Resources (2022)
"-Is she elegant and over 45? -Oh, Andrew. We could have so much fun."
Human Resources (2022)
"-I don't know, guys. -Here's a little gift from us, okay?"
Human Resources (2022)
"I'm sure Maury gives you gifts all the time."
Human Resources (2022)
"Not ever. No, not one time."
Human Resources (2022)
"But, look, whatever you decide, this is yours to keep, Andrew."
Human Resources (2022)
"Or should we say, "King Cum"?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Wow. So, you're saying if I work with you guys, I'd be the King of Cum?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Oh, Andrew, we think you already are."
Human Resources (2022)
"Long may you reign."
Human Resources (2022)
"Gentlemen? Let's do this."
Human Resources (2022)
"Oh my God. Wonderful news."
Human Resources (2022)
"-You're making the right decision! -I feel good about this."
Human Resources (2022)
"-You should feel great. -Now, this Laura Dern. Describe her to me."
Human Resources (2022)
"Oh, yeah, sure. And hey, and we're off."
Human Resources (2022)
"She's tall, rangy… Uh, you might say flaxen-haired?"
Human Resources (2022)
"-Laura Dern! I'm done."
Human Resources (2022)
"-Holy moly. -Joseph, we're on the board."
Human Resources (2022)
"-Wow. -Damn, Andrew,"
Human Resources (2022)
"you're making this job easy."
Human Resources (2022)
"-Do you want me to go again? -Again?"
Human Resources (2022)
"-You can do that? -Sure. I can always go again."
Human Resources (2022)
"Oh, my God! We've hit the jerkpot!"
Human Resources (2022)
"This human soft serve machine is gonna win us that free trip to Anal Island."
Human Resources (2022)
"Oh, my God. I've always wanted to go swimming with the sharts."
Human Resources (2022)
"-Human Resources, please hold."
Human Resources (2022)
"Human Resources, I'll connect you."
Human Resources (2022)
"Hey, Pete. How about, uh, a wet wipe?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Um… Thanks. This actually works very well."
Human Resources (2022)
"Yep. I always keep some on me"
Human Resources (2022)
"for the bathroom."
Human Resources (2022)
"Things get pretty crazy in there on my end."
Human Resources (2022)
"Uh-huh. Because of what you put in your body?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Ah, you get it. Oh, by the way, speaking of you getting it,"
Human Resources (2022)
"I had this idea for Doug's wedding."
Human Resources (2022)
"Oh, I don't think you should get involved with the wedding."
Human Resources (2022)
"It's just a little exercise plan. Probably stuff you already thought of."
Human Resources (2022)
"A calorie-counting app?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Interval training?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Wow, these pie charts are beautiful."
Human Resources (2022)
"-Thanks, man. -What template did you use?"
Human Resources (2022)
"-Uh, I just made my own. -Homemade pie charts?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Yeah, I just thought a solid plan"
Human Resources (2022)
"could let our boy Doug eat sweets and look great."
Human Resources (2022)
"I mean, the numbers look good here,"
Human Resources (2022)
"but we should probably run this by Rochelle."
Human Resources (2022)
"-Totally, totally. Yeah. Uh, unless… -"Unless" what?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Look, look, look. You're cool so I can trust you, right?"
Human Resources (2022)
"And-- And obviously Rochelle's the best."
Human Resources (2022)
"But you ever feel like she maybe doesn't "get logic"?"
Human Resources (2022)
"-She is very emotional."
Human Resources (2022)
"And dudes like us, we-- we know that deep down,"
Human Resources (2022)
"this world runs on logic."
Human Resources (2022)
"-Maybe Doug can try intermittent fasting. -Great idea, buddy."
Human Resources (2022)
"Aw, thanks, buddy."
Human Resources (2022)
"You're my buddy."
Human Resources (2022)
"What do you think, Pete? Should we go see that little sweetie?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Yeah. I'll go wherever you want, sweetie."
Human Resources (2022)
"Oof!"
Human Resources (2022)
"Oh-ho!"
Human Resources (2022)
"Emmy, look at you. You're delightfully pathetic."
Human Resources (2022)
"I know, I need help. I need to get clean."
Human Resources (2022)
"Yes, well, I'll help you, but only if you follow me on TikTok."
Human Resources (2022)
"You are on TikTok?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Yeah, I invented a dance called "The Leaky Diaper." I have two likes."
Human Resources (2022)
"Richie, slow down. I can't understand you."
Human Resources (2022)
"Your mouth is full of popcorn."
Human Resources (2022)
"Oh, it's not popcorn, it's my Aunt Joanne?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Oh. Hi, Maury."
Human Resources (2022)
"Uh, Richie, hold on a sec. Kid, you-- you good?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Just checking. You're busting tons of nuts?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Wait, where did you get that magnificent basketball jersey?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Wow. Awkward. I'm sorry. I thought they would have told you."
Human Resources (2022)
"This was a gift from my new Hormone Monsters."
Human Resources (2022)
""New Hormone Monsters"?"
Human Resources (2022)
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Ooh… Wow."
Human Resources (2022)
"Damn. Looks like Gil and Joe got a bit of a glow-up."
Human Resources (2022)
"I'll say. Wait. Who are Gil and Joe?"
Human Resources (2022)
"-Hey! You rat finks stole my client."
Human Resources (2022)
""Stole"? Andrew Glouberman picked us fair and square."
Human Resources (2022)
"We got him a present. When's the last time you got him presents?"
Human Resources (2022)
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