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Clips from Archer - Edie's Wedding (S06E06)

"[Lana] Just promise to use your powers for good!"
Archer
"[Laughs]"
Archer
"No."
Archer
"[Archer] Yes. No."
Archer
"Clean the jizz out of your ears, jizz-ears."
Archer
"I'm getting married tomorrow,"
Archer
"so tonight at my rehearsal dinner,"
Archer
"I get all you can eat prime rib"
Archer
"and bottomless vin rogue."
Archer
"Gimme that. Put it down."
Archer
"We are going to go find Pam,"
Archer
"and then you are gonna apologize"
Archer
"for hurting her feelings."
Archer
"Why do you care? You're just a-- wait."
Archer
"Are you really her boyfriend?"
Archer
"Mm-hm."
Archer
"Oh, and a secret agent, so..."
Archer
"[Phone rings]"
Archer
"And, not only am I a secret agent,"
Archer
"I am the world's greatest secret agent."
Archer
"Mm... hello?"
Archer
"[Barry] Jesus, Archer."
Archer
"You're not even the greatest secret agent in that room."
Archer
"[Laughs] Actually, Barry,"
Archer
"that's where you're-- Wait! Barry?"
Archer
"[Barry] Hey, dummy."
Archer
"How did you get-- where are you?"
Archer
"How did you even know I was here?"
Archer
"[Barry] Uh, I followed you."
Archer
"What do you mean, you followed me?"
Archer
"Okay, that's obviously your abusive ex-boyfriend,"
Archer
"so I'm just gonna tip on out."
Archer
"[Barry] I was on my way to New York to kill you,"
Archer
"when I saw you in Chicago, idiot,"
Archer
"and now you are gonna follow me."
Archer
"That is, if you ever wanna see your buddy--"
Archer
"uh-- wait, what was your name?"
Archer
"[Spits] Your worst frickin' nightmare."
Archer
"[Archer] Pam? Oh right, yeah, it's Pam."
Archer
"Anyway, if you don't wanna spend the next year"
Archer
"signing for packages full of her head and feet and shit,"
Archer
"meet me out by the old grain elevator."
Archer
"[Barry] Pam says Edie knows where it is."
Archer
"Now, you listen to me, Barry, you--"
Archer
"[dial tone] Barry!"
Archer
"God damn, son of a cyborg bitch!"
Archer
"What, he give you anal warts?"
Archer
"He kidnapped your sister, you jerk!"
Archer
"What?"
Archer
"Who'd wanna kidnap Pam?"
Archer
"I'll tell you in the car. Come on!"
Archer
"Look, I know you're bitter"
Archer
"'cause you people can't get married or whatever,"
Archer
"but all you care to eat prime rib!"
Archer
"[Sighs] Well, Edie, I was almost half-way hoping"
Archer
"it wouldn't come to this."
Archer
"Come to what--"
Archer
"[Cyril] Hello? Lana?"
Archer
"No..."
Archer
"What are you still doing here?"
Archer
"I thought you had Rambo sleepaway camp."
Archer
"SERE school, and I did,"
Archer
"but Archer hosed me, and I don't have a sitter."
Archer
"Oh, well you should have asked--"
Archer
"I asked everybody, even Krieger."
Archer
"I-- wow, so you'd ask Krieger"
Archer
"to watch your baby before you'd ask me?"
Archer
"I didn't, well-- that would be weird."
Archer
"Weirder than the guy trying to make"
Archer
"some kind of ejaculation ray?"
Archer
"No, it's a pants-shitting ray."
Archer
"Okay, well, then, that's new, but--"
Archer
"Cyril, look-- How about this?"
Archer
"I'll drive you both upstate,"
Archer
"and get us a motel room."
Archer
"[Laughs] What?"
Archer
"For A.J. and me."
Archer
"While you run around the woods eating snails and beetles."
Archer
"That way if you get anxious about being away from her,"
Archer
"we're right there."
Archer
"This is weird."
Archer
"Why is this weird?"
Archer
"Because what kind of sick bastard"
Archer
"travels with duct tape and rope?"
Archer
"No, we actually made a couple of stops"
Archer
"while you were knocked out."
Archer
"Had to get more Tom for the Collins--"
Archer
"Oh, and also rob a gun store."
Archer
"Wait, what?"
Archer
"Well, technically, burgle."
Archer
"How long was I out?"
Archer
"Mm... 20 minutes?"
Archer
"Dammit!"
Archer
"Yeah, that is not good for you."
Archer
"No, turn around dick-nuts,"
Archer
"I can still make the rehearsal dinner."
Archer
"After we rescue Pam. Now, shut up."
Archer
"Oh, and un-shut up for a second."
Archer
"Is this the way to the grain elevator?"
Archer
"Ah... oh, yeah, right down that road."
Archer
"Take a left. Take a left!"
Archer
"Even for me, that was pretty lucky."
Archer
"Wa-hoo!"
Archer
"Rental car!"
Archer
"[Barry] There we go. Looking good, Barry."
Archer
"Well, thanks, other Barry."
Archer
"Archer comes in to save her,"
Archer
"and boosh!"
Archer
"K-k-k-kill zone!"
Archer
"So you're just bug-nuts crazy, huh?"
Archer
"[Laughs] Crazy like a fox!"
Archer
"Who's bionic!"
Archer
"And, whose fiance dumped him,"
Archer
"for literally the dumbest guy in Russia?"
Archer
"Who want waffle?"
Archer
"I forget to make waffle."
Archer
"Oh, and just so you know, my worst nightmare,"
Archer
"which is actually recurring,"
Archer
"is me and Santa Claus getting chased through the snow"
Archer
"by Lurch from the Adam's family."
Archer
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