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Clips from Silicon Valley - Binding Arbitration (S02E02)

"We are fucked."
Silicon Valley
"All right, this is gonna be a long two days,"
Silicon Valley
"so let's try to keep things brief."
Silicon Valley
"Your Honor, I think I can help speed things along."
Silicon Valley
"We are willing to concede"
Silicon Valley
"to all the numerous counts brought by Mr. Belson,"
Silicon Valley
"except the ones regarding the ownership"
Silicon Valley
"of intellectual property."
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"Is that right?"
Silicon Valley
"On the non-solicit violation,"
Silicon Valley
"my client is willing to concede"
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"that Donald Dunn was improperly hired."
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"And on the unjust enrichment charge,"
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"Richard will agree to repay Hooli"
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"39 dollars and 99 cents"
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"for the phone charger"
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"that he took home, and so on."
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"Thank you, Mr. Monahan,"
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"for accelerating the process."
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"Okay, let's start this. Plaintiff?"
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"Okay, Richard, here it goes."
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"They call you first, we're toast."
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"I think I'm gonna puke."
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"Your Honor, we'd like to call our first witness."
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"We would like to call"
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"Nelson Bighetti, a.k.a. Big Head."
Silicon Valley
"Wait, are you sure? 'Cause it says no admittan..."
Silicon Valley
"Okay."
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"Yeah, you were right. It's this one."
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"Is that me?"
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"I'm sorry, Richard."
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"Firstly, sir, let me say it is a privilege"
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"to be speaking to someone as accomplished as you."
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"Okay."
Silicon Valley
"You were one of the earliest members"
Silicon Valley
"of the Pied Piper team, were you not?"
Silicon Valley
"- Uh... - And since your departure,"
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"your rise has been meteoric."
Silicon Valley
"Haven't you received three Hooli promotions in a month?"
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"Uh, yeah. Yeah, I guess that is right."
Silicon Valley
"It seems like everything you touch"
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"is made dramatically better, Mr. Bighetti."
Silicon Valley
"You make a meaningful and crucial contribution"
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"to everything you do, do you not?"
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"Wa... wait."
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"I'm... I'm sorry. Do I not?"
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"Are you asking if I do do that"
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"or if I don't do that?"
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"This is amazing. They have nothing."
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"It's a desperate play."
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"They're trying to build him up,"
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"make it seem like he was a crucial part of Pied Piper."
Silicon Valley
"It's a Hail Mary. They have nothing."
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"Because if I don't not do that,"
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"isn't that the same as..."
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"- Let's move on. - Okay."
Silicon Valley
"Is it not true that Wired..."
Silicon Valley
"I'll rephrase."
Silicon Valley
"Did Wired Magazine run a cover story on you?"
Silicon Valley
"Yes or no?"
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"Oh, yes."
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"That did happen, yes."
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"I think I just made a mistake."
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"That was the museum."
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"I decided to call and check on the condor,"
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"and they said that it's very unlikely"
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"that the condor egg is still alive."
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"But my phone call itself"
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"drew their attention to their low viewing numbers"
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"and they've decided to take down the cameras today."
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"So by making the phone call,"
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"you've most likely killed the condor egg."
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"Oh, come on, I mean, that Schrodinger stuff's all just theoretical."
Silicon Valley
"It doesn't apply here."
Silicon Valley
"- Doesn't it? - I mean, look at Richard."
Silicon Valley
"He didn't know that he had tested on a Hooli computer"
Silicon Valley
"until Monahan opened that box of emails, right?"
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"So Richard was both innocent and guilty,"
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"but as soon as Monahan opened that box,"
Silicon Valley
"it made Richard guilty."
Silicon Valley
"But, I mean, by that logic,"
Silicon Valley
"anyone who goes to an open-casket funeral is a murderer."
Silicon Valley
"You are one dark motherfucker, Jared."
Silicon Valley
"So, Mr. Bighetti, you have stated"
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"that you didn't have"
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"anything to do with Pied Piper."
Silicon Valley
"No."
Silicon Valley
"I suppose you'd also say"
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"that you had nothing to do with Hooli XYZ either."
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"No, not really."
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"And what about the Hooli AIDS and Cancer Societies"
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"of which you were president? Did you have anything to do with those?"
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"Honestly, not really. I actually remember"
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"when they told me I got the AIDS thing,"
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"for just a second I thought they were telling me that I had AIDS."
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"But then I realized, no, I was just"
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"the president of the AIDS thingy."
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"But for a second it was pretty scary there."
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"You see, Your Honor, Nelson Bighetti"
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"is pathologically modest."
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"While he humbly denies credit, the record shows"
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"that he had everything to do with all of these achievements."
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"It may be possible that Nelson actually believes"
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"he didn't have that much to do with the founding of Pied Piper either."
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"'Cause..."
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"But it is painfully obvious"
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"that he had a huge hand in it."
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"No further questions, Your Honor."
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"May I say, Mr. Bighetti, how refreshing it is"
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"to finally encounter someone in the tech community"
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"who is so free of pretension and ego?"
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"Well, that was troubling."
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"Yeah, what was that?"
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"It's just that he scored big points with the judge in there."
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"So what's our plan? Do we go in there"
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"and cross the shit out of him?"
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"Tear him a new hole in his butt?"
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"Let's just remind ourselves here"
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"that he gave me the phone and made this whole thing possible."
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"So let's take it easy on him."
Silicon Valley
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