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Clips from Silicon Valley - Binding Arbitration (S02E02)

"Yeah, I don't think shredding him is the right way to go either."
Silicon Valley
"Thank you. It could backfire,"
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"turn the judge against us."
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"I have something else in mind."
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"Mr. Bachmann, are you still prepared to testify?"
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"Fuck yes, I am."
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"Mr. Bachmann."
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"Yes, sir?"
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"You are the owner and sole proprietor"
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"of the Palo Alto-based hacker hostel"
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"in which Mr. Hendricks and Mr. Bighetti"
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"both resided. Is that correct?"
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"Yes, sir. That is, in fact, correct."
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"It has been called"
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"the Garden of Tech Eden."
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"Is it also fair to say that every instinct you have"
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"as a businessman"
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"has been completely and totally wrong?"
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"- Sorry, what? - You hard of hearing, Mr. Bachmann?"
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"No, I've heard everything..."
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"Aren't you considered a joke in this town?"
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"I don't quite know where you're going with this."
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"Nor do I. Can you tell us"
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"where you're headed here, Mr. Monahan?"
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"Your Honor, if you are to accept"
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"Hooli's reverence for Mr. Bighetti"
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"as proof that he's a genius,"
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"then you must also accept"
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"Mr. Bachmann's reverence for Mr. Bighetti"
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"as proof that he's a moron."
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"I'm simply establishing"
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"this type of logic, Your Honor, cuts both ways."
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"I see. I'll allow it."
Silicon Valley
"Really? Because I don't..."
Silicon Valley
"Mr. Bachmann, you have incubated"
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"a seemingly endless string"
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"of patently unsuccessful apps, haven't you?"
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"No. No, that is not correct."
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"I incubated Pied Piper. I saw the value in that."
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"Oh, did you? Isn't it true"
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"that you were about to evict Mr. Hendricks"
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"until he became the subject of a bidding war?"
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"You disliked Pied Piper..."
Silicon Valley
"The one app in your hostel that showed promise."
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"Well, I think that's a bit harsh. I mean, ev..."
Silicon Valley
"In fact, you tried to encourage Mr. Hendricks"
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"to change his app to be more like"
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"Mr. Bighetti's horrendous app"
Silicon Valley
"called Nip Alert. Isn't that true?"
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"Well, yes, I thought Nip Alert showed great promise."
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"It did not show great promise."
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"What it showed was the location"
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"of nearby women possessing erect nipples."
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"And as such, Mr. Bighetti's grotesque creation"
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"was passed over by every investor"
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"in this town except you,"
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"because it was perverted."
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"Well, I'll admit that... I'll concede"
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"that the cultural moment"
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"may have passed, but at the time..."
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"No, at the time, it was as misogynistic as it is now,"
Silicon Valley
"wasn't it, Mr. Bachmann?"
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"It... yes, it had some major problems..."
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"Some major problems? Mr. Bachmann, a few moments ago"
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"you said that it showed great promise."
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"You said that. I can have the court reporter"
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"read it back to you, Mr. Bachmann."
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"I don't need her to read it back to me. I can remember..."
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"Nip Alert was poorly conceived"
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"and riddled with bugs, wasn't it?"
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"Well, all apps in the beginning..."
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"Mr. Bachmann, answer the question."
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"You liked Nip Alert, and it was terrible."
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"- No, I... I... - Didn't you?"
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"- Liking it... - Mr. Bachmann, you liked it, didn't you?"
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"Okay, yes, yes! Fine! Yes, I liked it,"
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"even though it was a terrible app and it had no market potential."
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"I was high when he pitched it and I like nipples..."
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"Thank you, Mr. Bachmann."
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"It was a buggy, rapey piece of shit designed by an idiot."
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"- Mr. Bachmann, thank you very much. - It was so bad"
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"that the first time that Richard tried to boot it up on his system,"
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"it crashed his laptop. It was in the shop for three days."
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"'Cause it was a piece of shit!"
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"That..."
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"I mean, among other things"
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"that weren't that"
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"were reasons why it was bad."
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"No more questions, Your Honor."
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"What the fuck is going on here?"
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"I don't know what happened. He got in my head."
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"It's a very uncharacteristic error."
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"They're calling you next, Richard."
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"They want you on the stand in 10 minutes."
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"Great. So they figured it out."
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"We're fucked, aren't we?"
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"It looks that way."
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"Damn it, they're gonna ask me if I ran a test of Pied Piper"
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"on a Hooli computer, and I'm gonna have to say yes."
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"What if you said no?"
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"What are you talking about?"
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"Are you saying I should lie on the stand or something?"
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"Gentlemen, the less I know about this, the better."
Silicon Valley
"Well, then it appears we're in good hands,"
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"because you don't seem to know shit."
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"You're a mean and terrible attorney."
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"I'm not an attorney."
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"Richard, all they know"
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"is that you didn't have your laptop"
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"when you ran that test,"
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"so just tell them that you borrowed my laptop"
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"or you came home for lunch and used my computer."
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"Whatever you say, I'll get back on the stand and then back you up."
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"That would be committing perjury."
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"That would be lying under oath."
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"If you don't lie, Richard,"
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"you lose."
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"We lose everything..."
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"The company,"
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"90% of what could potentially be a billion dollars..."
Silicon Valley
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