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Clips from Silicon Valley - Binding Arbitration (S02E02)

"Hey, could we get one more round, please?"
Silicon Valley
"It's on a tab... Bighetti."
Silicon Valley
"- Sure. Coming up. - Cool. Thanks."
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"Well, well, look who's the big shot."
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"Yeah, big shot."
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"How are you guys?"
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"Uh, everything good over at Nucleus?"
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"Nucleus is dog shit. How do you do it, man?"
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"You used to be the most useless guy"
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"in the entire Nucleus team,"
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"but now you run an entire division."
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"Did you ever ask yourself why?"
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"No. No, I never have."
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"Do you have any skill at all"
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"other than magically failing your way to the top?"
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"I have a boat."
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"I guess that's not really a skill."
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"Fucking Big Head, man."
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"Fucking Big Head."
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"Take care."
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"Oh, hey."
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"Hey, you forgot your phone."
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"At least I think this is your..."
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"Holy shit."
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"Holy shit."
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"Right?"
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"This is Nucleus?"
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"Yep."
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"That is a beta of their entire mobile platform,"
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"and it sucks."
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"Yeah. I mean, the UX is, like, Soviet-era."
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"When it stores photos, they actually get larger."
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"They never cracked middle-out."
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"I actually kind of wish you didn't show me this,"
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"because now I know we totally would have beaten them."
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"As it is now, I mean, we can't get funded."
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"All of our new coders quit."
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"I mean, can you even imagine what would happen"
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"if, like, a tech blog got their hands on that piece of shit?"
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"They'd tear it apart. I mean,"
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"it could actually totally destroy Nucleus' release."
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"I bet Gavin would do, shit, anything"
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"to prevent that from happening, right?"
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"Yeah, totally."
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"Jesus, Richard, am I actually ahead of you on this?"
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"Take the phone, man."
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"It's yours. Take it."
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"Are... are you serious?"
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"Yeah, dude. Come on, I owe you."
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"I mean, I was about to quit Hooli and move home."
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"And then Gavin promoted me just to spite you."
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"And now he keeps promoting me"
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"for some inexplicable reason."
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"I mean, I haven't done anything, Richard... I mean, less than nothing."
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"Well, yeah."
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"But look at me now."
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"We're sitting on my boat, Richard,"
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"and that's because of you."
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"Soon we can sail it to fucking Hawaii"
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"or Sausalito."
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"Three more classes, and I get my boat license."
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"Oh, really? How many classes does it take?"
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"Three. It's three classes."
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"I heard you can pay somebody to take the test for you,"
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"but I just haven't got around to it yet."
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"Enough with your coy bullshit, Richard, okay?"
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"I know you have my goddamn phone."
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"What the fuck do I have to do to get it back?"
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"Well, I was thinking"
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"that in exchange for my help, you..."
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"I'm sorry, hold on."
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"You can't use the term in exchange."
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"It implies causality. That's basically extortion."
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"Any actions he takes must be un-coerced"
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"and of his own volition."
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"Go."
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"Hello. It's me again."
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"I was thinking that if you found your phone,"
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"you might be so happy that you would be inclined"
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"to drop the lawsuit."
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"Why would I do that?"
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"Because if you found your phone,"
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"that would mean that no tech bloggers"
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"or journalists did,"
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"and they couldn't write a scathing review"
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"based on what was on it, as it sucks."
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"Who knows? It might even"
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"cause Hooli stock to crash"
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"or certain careers to be ruined."
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"Richard, are you threatening me?"
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"Uh,"
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"am I threatening you?"
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"That's a good question."
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"Um, no."
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"If you don't give me my fucking phone back,"
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"I'm gonna find you, bend you over your desk"
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"and fuck you so hard, your front teeth..."
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"Hold on."
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"You can't threaten him, especially not sexually."
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"This little shit could cause major damage here."
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"What am I allowed to say?"
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"Richard, it's me again."
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"Yes."
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"Here's my concern."
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"If my phone ends up in the hands of a journalist,"
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"Palo Alto Chief of Police Ed Gaskins,"
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"who, apropos of nothing, happens to be a close personal friend of mine,"
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"would have to go and ask this person where they got my phone."
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"Keep in mind, these aren't real journalists, Richard."
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"They're tech journalists."
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"Do you think they'd go to prison to protect their source?"
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"I don't either."
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"And since this phone's OS is a stolen prototype"
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"worth $40 to $60 million,"
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"you're looking at felony grand theft, Richard."
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"You can go to jail for 40 years."
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"Then again, you'd probably be fine"
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"in a full-blown hard time penitentiary."
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"I mean, after they waxed your rectum"
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"and knocked out all your front teeth"
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