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Clips from Orange Is the New Black - Moscow Mule (S01E01)

"Yeah."
Orange Is the New Black
"It's fuckin' all-beef,"
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"fucking cunt-ramming awesome."
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"Okay."
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"Just checking."
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"Oh, my God. Alex?"
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"Get me out of here."
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"What? It's locked. Are you okay?"
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"No!"
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"Maybe I can, uh..."
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"What the hell happened?"
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"It was that fucking meth-head!"
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"Seriously? Yes!"
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"I'm gonna go get help. No, no, no! No, no, no!"
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"Just open the door."
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"If they find out that I was helping you, I'm gonna get in trouble."
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"You said so yourself."
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"You offered."
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"Are you serious?"
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"I told you that this was a bad idea."
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"I did!"
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"Don't you do that! Do what?"
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"That thing. Like this is my fault."
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"You know what I mean."
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"Like you aren't accountable for anything"
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"that ever happens in your life, ever."
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"Am I supposed to tell them that I made you get into the dryer?"
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"No, I want you to get me out."
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"Read that manual, unjam the door, step the fuck up!"
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"Wait, Piper, where are you going?"
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"I'm just gonna go..."
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"No! Don't you go!"
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"Don't you fucking leave me."
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"Okay."
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"Okay, what?"
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"I'm here."
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"So, this is all of 'em, huh? All the approved vendors?"
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"That's it. Just those five."
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"Nobody else gets through this gate?"
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"No suspicious delivery guy,"
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"no shady-lookin' mook in a fuckin' tampon truck?"
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"There's creepy linens dude, and the dry goods lady,"
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"the vegetable people."
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"Sounds like a horror movie, doesn't it? The Vegetable People?"
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"Like a giant celery serial killer, carrying a machete,"
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"or broccoli lightin' shit up with a flame-thrower."
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"Who's a smoothie, now, bitches?"
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"Asshole."
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"Shit's funny."
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"It's almost count time."
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"I know. I know."
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"I'm pretty sure I'm suffocating."
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"Ow!"
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"Loud. Sorry."
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"So, what, Nicky never came back?"
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"Your girlfriend? No."
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"My girlfriend?"
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"Yeah."
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"What's that supposed to mean?"
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"Nothing. Never mind."
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"No, what do you mean by that?"
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"I said, nothing. I said, never mind."
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"What, you expect me to wait for you to come around?"
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"Come around? Yeah."
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"As in get back together come around?"
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"Are you kidding me?"
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"I'm engaged. Right."
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"You know what? Do not confuse this."
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"Maybe, just maybe, we will get friendly again. Maybe."
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"We were never friends, Piper. We weren't..."
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"No. Not for a second."
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"I loved you, I loved having sex with you."
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"And more importantly, I am not suggesting that I want you back,"
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"you Park Slope narcissist."
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"I mean for you to come around like an actual human being."
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"And not with some hollow bullshit apology,"
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"or that cute little sad face that might work on your fucking boyfriend."
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"I've been waiting for you to come around,"
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"and treat me like an actual human being"
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"and realize what a fucking horse's ass you've been."
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"I've been a horse's ass?"
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"Fuck, yeah!"
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"Fuck you! And this dryer!"
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"This fucking shitty piece of goddamn dryer!"
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"Dryer!"
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"So abusive."
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"Maybe if you tried talking nice to it,"
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"or, uh, if you took your top off and rubbed up against it."
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"Might, uh, pop open then, right, huh?"
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"Shit."
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"What the hell's going on?"
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"Fuck."
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"Where was it we're going?"
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"Wherever I tell you to go."
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"Okay. It's just, I'm not supposed to be this far from camp."
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"You're not supposed to wear that pretty whore lipstick either,"
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"but you do, don't ya?"
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"Yeah, stop here."
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"Shut the car off."
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"The old Moscow mule."
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"Red?"
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"She's got a way of bringing stuff in."
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"It's not really up to code. Do you know what I mean?"
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"No."
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"I need to know how."
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"I don't know what you're talking about."
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"I drive, I don't work kitchen."
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"I know. You're afraid of her."
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"Shit, I don't blame you."
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"But you know what?"
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"There are things out here much worse than some scary Russian bitch."
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"I'm gonna ask you again. Nicely."
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"And then the third time, it's not gonna be very nice."
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"For you."
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"I told you."
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"I don't know what she does."
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"I drive, and I do what I need to do."
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"And I can't help you 'cause I really don't know."
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"So you do whatever."
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"I can't tell you what I don't know."
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