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Clips from Lucifer - Pilot (S01E01)

"So I'm gonna punish you."
Lucifer
"You back off, you freak. I mean it."
Lucifer
"I am not going to jail for that bitch. No chance."
Lucifer
"Listen to him, Lucifer. Back off."
Lucifer
"I told you, it's fine. I'm immortal."
Lucifer
"Why did you do that?"
Lucifer
"- He was gonna kill you. - No, no, no,"
Lucifer
"no, no, no. You just... you just let him off too easy."
Lucifer
"He needs to pay! He needs to suffer!"
Lucifer
"He needs to feel the pain,"
Lucifer
"- not escape it! - Don't worry."
Lucifer
"I'm sure where he's going, the pain's coming."
Lucifer
"No. No, it's not, actually."
Lucifer
"And you know why? Because I'm here and he's..."
Lucifer
"(gunshots) (gasps)"
Lucifer
"(gasping)"
Lucifer
"Chloe."
Lucifer
"(gasping)"
Lucifer
"(weakly): I don't want to die."
Lucifer
"I won't let you."
Lucifer
"Your father will just have to wait for you."
Lucifer
"(gunshots) (groaning)"
Lucifer
"Just... give me one second."
Lucifer
"(gunshots)"
Lucifer
"(grunts)"
Lucifer
"JIMMY: No, please! No, no,"
Lucifer
"please! Please."
Lucifer
"Please don't kill me."
Lucifer
"Oh, Jimmy."
Lucifer
"You're gonna wish that's all"
Lucifer
"- I did to you. - (screaming)"
Lucifer
"LUCIFER: Well,"
Lucifer
"look who's back."
Lucifer
"(groans)"
Lucifer
"How long have I been out?"
Lucifer
"(sighs) Three years."
Lucifer
"What?"
Lucifer
"(chuckling)"
Lucifer
"You're such an ass."
Lucifer
"- Thank you. - Oh, God."
Lucifer
"He was firing at you."
Lucifer
"Why aren't you..."
Lucifer
"more dead?"
Lucifer
"You're having a very hard time with the immortal thing,"
Lucifer
"aren't you?"
Lucifer
"(sighs)"
Lucifer
"- What happened with Jimmy? - Jimmy?"
Lucifer
"Jimmy got what he deserved."
Lucifer
"Hmm?"
Lucifer
"Well, I'm pretty sure I'd be dead"
Lucifer
"if you hadn't helped me, so..."
Lucifer
"thank you."
Lucifer
"Sorry, what was that? That last bit."
Lucifer
"I didn't quite get that."
Lucifer
"Thank you."
Lucifer
"You're welcome."
Lucifer
"And, besides, you know,"
Lucifer
"you're far too interesting to let die."
Lucifer
"You saved my life because I'm interesting?"
Lucifer
"Wildly irritating as well, but yes."
Lucifer
"(chuckles softly)"
Lucifer
"So what now?"
Lucifer
"Well, I mean, I've obviously proven myself"
Lucifer
"to be an invaluable crime-fighting tool."
Lucifer
"You're a pariah in the department."
Lucifer
"I think this could be the start"
Lucifer
"of a beautiful friendship. Don't you?"
Lucifer
"Who the hell are you?"
Lucifer
"I told you, I'm..."
Lucifer
"Lucifer!"
Lucifer
"Uh, yes. Hello, child."
Lucifer
"Um, just... Why don't you save"
Lucifer
"some of this unpleasantness for your mother, yeah?"
Lucifer
"- (groans) - Ooh."
Lucifer
"- Sorry. - Oh."
Lucifer
"- God. - Are you hurt?"
Lucifer
"I'm okay."
Lucifer
"LUCIFER: Right. Well, I'd stay for"
Lucifer
"the family reunion, but it's giving me terrible IBS."
Lucifer
"So, look forward to seeing you soon, Chloe."
Lucifer
"- I don't. - Bye, now."
Lucifer
"Glad you're not dead."
Lucifer
"♪ Always something before the late night ♪"
Lucifer
"♪ Around the corner, there's always ♪"
Lucifer
"(distorting): ♪ Something waiting for you... ♪"
Lucifer
"(groans) Bloody hell."
Lucifer
"What do you want from me?"
Lucifer
"I've been watching you, Lucifer."
Lucifer
"- You perv. - And I'm not sure"
Lucifer
"I like what I see."
Lucifer
"You're showing restraint, mercy."
Lucifer
"You scared I'm turning my back on the dark side, bro?"
Lucifer
"Lucifer, there is a balance here that we must maintain."
Lucifer
"I strongly suggest you do what I told you to do"
Lucifer
"and go back to Hell."
Lucifer
"Don't threaten me, Amenadiel."
Lucifer
"I mean, you don't want to start a war."
Lucifer
"I would love a war."
Lucifer
"(chuckling)"
Lucifer
"Oh, Luci."
Lucifer
"My hatred for you grows stronger with every visit."
Lucifer
"Well, I wouldn't have it any other way, pal."
Lucifer
"I look forward to eating your heart one day."
Lucifer
"Peace."
Lucifer
"(wings flapping)"
Lucifer
"Ugh."
Lucifer
"I sense your disapproval, Maze."
Lucifer
"What is it?"
Lucifer
"I just can't understand why you would save a human life."
Lucifer
"Well, there's... something different about her"
Lucifer
"that I don't quite understand, and it vexes me."
Lucifer
"Maybe it's not her that's different."
Lucifer
"(chuckles) Is this where I'm supposed to ask,"
Lucifer
""Whatever do you mean?""
Lucifer
"I'm worried the humans are rubbing off on you."
Lucifer
"Stop caring."
Lucifer
"You're the Devil."
Lucifer
"Yes, I am."
Lucifer
"♪♪"
Lucifer
"Okay. Right. Uh..."
Lucifer
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