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Clips from The Great North - Beef's Craig Beef Adventure (S02E02)

"♪ Look up there ♪"
The Great North
"♪ What do you see? ♪"
The Great North
"♪ Nature and stuff ♪"
The Great North
"-♪ Like a rock ♪ -♪ And a tree ♪"
The Great North
"♪ Oh, the Great North ♪"
The Great North
"♪ Way up here, you can breathe the air ♪"
The Great North
"♪ Catch some fish ♪"
The Great North
"♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪"
The Great North
"♪ Wow ♪"
The Great North
"♪ Oh, the Great North ♪"
The Great North
"♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪"
The Great North
"♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪"
The Great North
"♪ From longest night to longest day ♪"
The Great North
"♪ In the Great North. ♪"
The Great North
"She's like Christmas for your eyes, ain't she?"
The Great North
"I wouldn't kick that kayak out of bed for eating crackers."
The Great North
"Me, neither. So what's the BoatFax on this bad boy?"
The Great North
"Owned for 50 years by a doctor and her husband"
The Great North
"in Kachemak before he passed, mid-kayak."
The Great North
"Gosh, I'm torn. This kayak has such romantic history."
The Great North
"It could also be super haunted."
The Great North
"I need a second opinion. Dad? Dad?"
The Great North
"Come check out this kayak. I need to know if it's haunted."
The Great North
"Not sure why he's looking in rec vehicles."
The Great North
"He's strictly a workboat guy."
The Great North
"Calls pleasure craft "water trash." Hey, Dad? Dad?"
The Great North
"♪ Vroom ♪"
The Great North
"♪ Whoosh ♪"
The Great North
"Whee!"
The Great North
"Vroom. Whoosh."
The Great North
"He's been coming by a couple times a week for the past month."
The Great North
"It's very common for people his age"
The Great North
"to suddenly get interested in a craft like that."
The Great North
"It's what I call "a midlife crisis vessel.""
The Great North
"But Dad's not having a midlife crisis."
The Great North
"He just turned 40 exactly a month ago... Oh, my God."
The Great North
"Uh, hey, uh, Dad, uh, uh, What are you looking at?"
The Great North
"Oh, just looking at this gaudy contraption. Yuck."
The Great North
"$900 for a Sea-Doo?"
The Great North
"More like Sea-Don't."
The Great North
"Am I right?"
The Great North
"Guys, this lunch-slash-meeting"
The Great North
"is about Dad. I don't know if you watch him like a hawk,"
The Great North
"with awe and admiration, like I do, but if so,"
The Great North
"you may have noticed that he's been acting"
The Great North
"a little different lately."
The Great North
"Cologne?"
The Great North
"Sugar."
The Great North
"Reversible. Can't be."
The Great North
"Papa. Papa, no."
The Great North
"What's the big deal with Beef using a little bit"
The Great North
"of sugar or getting a reversible belt?"
The Great North
"Because Dad says coffee is a tool, not a drink."
The Great North
"You use it, you don't enjoy it."
The Great North
"And he thinks reversible belts fall apart much faster"
The Great North
"than regular belts because of all of the reversing."
The Great North
""It's half the belt for twice the price.""
The Great North
"That means he bought it purely for fashion."
The Great North
"And I didn't know what it all added up to"
The Great North
"until what happened this morning at the boat yard."
The Great North
"I discovered that Dad's been going there every week"
The Great North
"- to stare at a Jet Ski."
The Great North
"Yeah. And then he just drifts off into space"
The Great North
"and giggles while saying "vroom" and "whoosh.""
The Great North
"So after going on W-Eb-MD and eliminating illness, drugs"
The Great North
"or Dad having Joker syndrome, I was able to figure it out"
The Great North
"with no help whatsoever from Edna at the boat yard."
The Great North
"Guys, Dad's going through a midlife crisis."
The Great North
"It was his 40th birthday last month, and traditionally,"
The Great North
"Tobins who survive past childhood"
The Great North
"die at exactly 80."
The Great North
"I mean, except for Tobias Tobin, who died at 54"
The Great North
"during the first-ever Lone Moose hot dog eating contest."
The Great North
"Yep, the runner-up shot him."
The Great North
"Anyway, Dad's clearly feeling the pressure of 40."
The Great North
"There's only one way to keep him from falling"
The Great North
"through the thin emotional ice he's currently dancing all over."
The Great North
"We help him get that Sea-Doo jet ski."
The Great North
"We just need $900."
The Great North
"How are we supposed to get that kind of cash?"
The Great North
"Uh, yeah, I make associ-ette photograph-ette money."
The Great North
"I've still got some of my bar mitzvah money left."
The Great North
"What bar mitzvah money, Ham? We're not Jewish."
The Great North
"Do you want to get Dad's Sea-Doo"
The Great North
"or do you want to interrogate me"
The Great North
"about my bar mitzvah money all day?"
The Great North
"Well, now I will dramatically reveal the reason"
The Great North
"I asked you guys to meet me here instead of the house."
The Great North
"- Ta-da! - Yeah, we've all seen that typo before."
The Great North
"- We know it says "warffles," and we love it. - No, look."
The Great North
"I wanted to show you this ad."
The Great North
"Oh, we can do the Herring Run."
The Great North
"Herring Run? What are they running from?"
The Great North
"They look so happy."
The Great North
"But I guess you can never really know a fish's secrets."
The Great North
"Every year, the department of fish and wildlife"
The Great North
"lets people catch herring for 15 minutes,"
The Great North
"and then that's it for the rest of the year-- that's all."
The Great North
"It's like playing the lottery."
The Great North
"Some get an entire year's salary in 15 minutes,"
The Great North
"others get no herring at all."
The Great North
"It's pretty ding-dang exciting."
The Great North
"I don't know. Dad always says it's too flashy."
The Great North
"But I guess we could try."
The Great North
"We'll just have to be very, very subtle."
The Great North
"Surprise! - Aah!"
The Great North
"A surprise party. Wow, great surprise."
The Great North
"Now I'll go to my room while you complete the party part."
The Great North
"It's not a party, Dad. It's an intervention."
The Great North
"We had an off-site family meeting at Maude's because"
The Great North
"we know about the belt and the sugar"
The Great North
"and the Scent Sail, a cologne for adventurous men."
The Great North
"You're going through a midlife crisis, and that's okay."
The Great North
"Midlife crisis? No, that's not me."
The Great North
"That's for people in Ketchikan. Or those fellas from Wild Hogs."
The Great North
"I can smell your cologne from here. It's wonderful."
The Great North
"Fine, I bought cologne and a reversible belt."
The Great North
"It made me feel like a Mad Men. Don’t judge me."
The Great North
"We're not judging, Dad."
The Great North
"But you're not going to fill the Sea-Doo size hole in your heart"
The Great North
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