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Clips from Silicon Valley - Proof of Concept (S01E01)

"that can heat the surface of a person's skin instead,"
Silicon Valley
"potentially saving millions in heating costs"
Silicon Valley
"and helping the environment,"
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"thereby making the world a better place."
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"Judges."
Silicon Valley
"Uh... OK, so,"
Silicon Valley
"you want to heat people"
Silicon Valley
"with microwaves, is that right?"
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"That can't be safe."
Silicon Valley
"That's a great question and trust me, it is very, very safe."
Silicon Valley
"I've been working on it for 15 years."
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"I don't trust you and it can't be safe."
Silicon Valley
"And even if it was, I don't think you could ever sell the public on this."
Silicon Valley
"Thank you."
Silicon Valley
"I think when people see the savings on their utility bill"
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"and when they see how it saves the environment, they will be sold."
Silicon Valley
"Microwaves? Are you kidding me?"
Silicon Valley
"Man, they are brutal."
Silicon Valley
"All right, let's light this candle."
Silicon Valley
"Where the hell have you been?"
Silicon Valley
"Uh, there's been some developments. You know how I fucked Melcher's old wife?"
Silicon Valley
"- I fucked his new wife, too. - What?"
Silicon Valley
"Uh, don't worry, he's not gonna find out."
Silicon Valley
"I left way before he got back last night and then I didn't"
Silicon Valley
"go back this morning until 20 minutes after he had left."
Silicon Valley
"You went back?"
Silicon Valley
"How many times did you fuck this woman?"
Silicon Valley
"The old wife or the new wife?"
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"- The new wife. - Last night or this morning?"
Silicon Valley
"Erlich, what are you thinking? This is kind of the big day today."
Silicon Valley
"Relax, he's not gonna find out. She's not gonna tell him."
Silicon Valley
"How the fuck do you know that?"
Silicon Valley
"Because she'd have to be crazy to tell him"
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"and I asked her point blank if she was crazy"
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"and she swore to me, no, she's not crazy."
Silicon Valley
"- Pied Piper, you're up. - Let's do it."
Silicon Valley
"The microwaves only penetrate the top layer of skin cells."
Silicon Valley
"I don't believe you. It can't be safe."
Silicon Valley
"Thank you."
Silicon Valley
"I've been testing it on these guys all winter and they're fine."
Silicon Valley
"Let me just demonstrate it to assure you..."
Silicon Valley
"- No! No! - No! Please!"
Silicon Valley
"No one is ever going to buy one of these."
Silicon Valley
"Ever."
Silicon Valley
"That was HumanHeater."
Silicon Valley
"Next up, Executive Chairman and Chief Visionary"
Silicon Valley
"Erlich Bachman presenting Pied Piper."
Silicon Valley
"Since the dawn of time,"
Silicon Valley
"mankind hath sought to make things smaller, but until now,"
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"no man..."
Silicon Valley
"You son of a bitch!"
Silicon Valley
"Jesus Christ! Everyone remain calm."
Silicon Valley
"Stay in your seats! Everything is under control!"
Silicon Valley
"Lights?"
Silicon Valley
"I think he knows."
Silicon Valley
"The core compression algorithm is optimal."
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"All the test cases ran optimal."
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"The Weissman score is optimal."
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"Looks like Nucleus is optimal."
Silicon Valley
"Good. Good."
Silicon Valley
"Congratulations, guys."
Silicon Valley
"- Oh yeah. - Oh, dog."
Silicon Valley
"Richard, the ingestion engine is ready for testing. Have you seen Richard?"
Silicon Valley
"He's in there, having a little trouble with his personal ingestion engine."
Silicon Valley
"Still? It's been an hour. He's gotta get this done."
Silicon Valley
"Oh, he's got his laptop in there, on top of his lap."
Silicon Valley
"Hey, Richard."
Silicon Valley
"Don't talk to me while I'm in the bathroom please."
Silicon Valley
"Well, snap it off, we gotta go."
Silicon Valley
"I know. Just don't talk to me while I'm in here. It's weird."
Silicon Valley
"Oh, my God. Jared's been back from that island"
Silicon Valley
"for a whole day and he didn't get any toilet paper?"
Silicon Valley
"Are you serious? Is Jared out there?"
Silicon Valley
"I thought you didn't want me to talk to you"
Silicon Valley
"while you were in the bathroom. Make up your mind."
Silicon Valley
"You know what? Just get away from the door, please."
Silicon Valley
"Friday, the pool cleaner comes."
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"- Do you understand? - Yes."
Silicon Valley
"And tomorrow is trash day so make sure all the cans are out front."
Silicon Valley
"Yes."
Silicon Valley
"Now, you are under no circumstances to order any movie on demand,"
Silicon Valley
"adult or otherwise."
Silicon Valley
"Yes."
Silicon Valley
"OK, has anything that I've just said confused you?"
Silicon Valley
"- Yes. - Goddamn it!"
Silicon Valley
"Jesus, Cher. Are you bringing your whole closet?"
Silicon Valley
"I'm a pro, Dinesh. I won't apologize for it."
Silicon Valley
"I dress according to the moods that I sense in the room."
Silicon Valley
"As such, I must have options."
Silicon Valley
"We all packed and ready to go?"
Silicon Valley
"We can take my car but gas is on the company."
Silicon Valley
"Hello? Did everyone leave?"
Silicon Valley
"No."
Silicon Valley
"What? Oh. Whoa, whoa..."
Silicon Valley
"I don't know how you read your screen in the car."
Silicon Valley
"It makes me sick as a dog."
Silicon Valley
"I'm OK as long as I don't think about it."
Silicon Valley
"Besides, the presentation is tomorrow."
Silicon Valley
"So if you just don't think about it it really doesn't bother you"
Silicon Valley
"to be staring at the screen when the car's moving"
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"and turning and you're all queasy..."
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"Oh, God!"
Silicon Valley
"- Gilfoyle. - See, I knew it bothered you."
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"Fucking liar."
Silicon Valley
"So I'm a little behind, being stuck on that island for four days,"
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"but I think I'm on top of everything."
Silicon Valley
"OK, give me your IDs and I'll go register us..."
Silicon Valley
"There you are. Got your credentials and wristbands"
Silicon Valley
"for the walkthrough at 4:00 today."
Silicon Valley
"Uh, walkthrough?"
Silicon Valley
"Yeah, basically, it's a sound check for the competition."
Silicon Valley
"Uh, yeah, we didn't know about that."
Silicon Valley
"Did I not tell you about the walkthrough?"
Silicon Valley
"I am so sorry."
Silicon Valley
"That's why I'm here. Peter's on safari"
Silicon Valley
"with Lorne Michaels and Kanye West until next week"
Silicon Valley
"so I can put all of my attention on you guys for once."
Silicon Valley
"I am so sorry. I thought that I talked to you guys about the walk..."
Silicon Valley
"Gentlemen, welcome to the big show."
Silicon Valley
"TechCrunch motherfucking Disrupt."
Silicon Valley
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