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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - Kimmy Gets a Job! (S01E01)

"but he's on vacation with his wife."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm sorry. Does one of you live here?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Mrs. Voorhees didn't tell me that she had a daughter."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Jacqueline? I'm her stepdaughter."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And you're what, the new Hunong?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm Kimmy, and I'm going to have"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"to tell your stepmother that you were drinking."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No, you don't."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm 15, and I'm pretty much your boss."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Um..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"can you go?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"We're, like, in here."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, my God."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No way, man."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I can't give you your security deposit back."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"There's all kinds of wear on this thing."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"That is ridiculous."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I treated this suit like a beautiful lady,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"which is to say, I did not touch it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'll take it off your hands,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"but you're not getting your deposit back."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Unacceptable."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I need that money to pursue my dream of stardom."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"That's the most pathetic thing I've ever heard."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And I have sex with these costumes at night."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Mrs. Voorhees. - Mm?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Um... - Not now, Kimmy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"In preparation for Julian's return,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I went to the gyno-dermatologist."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I need to lie down with my feet and heart above my vagina."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Uh, but I really need to talk to you about your stepdaughter."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Xanthippe?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"She's home already?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Are her friends with her? They're so mean and cool."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Sometimes I look at them at Barney's from behind a pillar."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Her friends left, but I think you should know"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"that they were drinking alcohol... on purpose."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Okay, I can't deal with this right now."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Today is too important."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Just make sure Xanthippe is at Buckley's party."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You're going to punish..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
""Sam-pippy," right?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You don't understand."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Being a stepmom isn't easy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Xan isn't going to listen to me"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"'cause we're basically the same age."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Someone needs to ground her."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Okay. You can try."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But don't cry in front of her,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"even if she calls you a MILF and then says, "Not!""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And then everyone in the Admirals Club laughs at you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Wait. You want me to ground her?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Yes, please."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What is all this?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, it's a superhero birthday party,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"just like you wanted."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I hope you're joking."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"This looks like a party for a child."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But it is for a child."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"This is a disaster."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Your color scheme clashes with the Givenchy romper"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I bought for this party."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Do you know what a Givenchy romper is?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- This? - Oh, my God."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'll wear something else."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But do you really expect my husband to fly 6,000 miles"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"for paper plates,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"crinkle-cut fries,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"a Mexican candy animal?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Is this my fault?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Was I not clear?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No, you were clear. I can do better."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Please. Please do."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Okay. So I should spend..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"As much money as you have to so that when Julian comes home,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"he knows that he's at his son's birthday party,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"not the reception for an Appalachian incest wedding."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Okay."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Guadalajara, Guadalajara"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Guadalajara, Guadala..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Hey! Jackass!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"We're working this car!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"We don't need no busted-up Iron Man stealing our tips."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm not Iron Man."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"All I want to do is get rid of this stupid costume,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"but they won't give me my security deposit back."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Wait."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Is that from Ray Ray's Costume Depot?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Yes. He said it was damaged."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"The same thing happened to us."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And my mother cleans our costumes every night"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"after she tucks us into the bed we all share."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's a scam."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"This will not stand!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Vamonos!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Let's go!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Julian should be here any minute."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"How do I look?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Like a million bucks!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Wow."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I know you didn't mean that to be hurtful, but..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Where do you think you're going?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Out."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Put down your Game Boy and look at me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"My what? Ew."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Your stepmother expects you to be at your half-brother's party"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"when your full father gets here."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'll be back in, like, an hour. God."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Xanadu, you're grounded."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Xanthippe. And what?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"By the power vested in me as an adult who is a grown-up,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"you're grounded."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Okay. Kimmy, IMHO..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Pancakes. Got it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"This is not gonna work,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"'cause nannies like you..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I chew you up, and I spit you out,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"just like all my food."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
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