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Clips from King Ralph

"What? That's everything."
King Ralph
"Good morning, Your Majesty. I'm afraid I have some distressing news."
King Ralph
"Miss Greene's presence last night did not go unnoticed."
King Ralph
"Your Majesty, for the sake of the monarchy, this gives you little choice..."
King Ralph
"but to end your friendship with Miss Greene."
King Ralph
"What?! I can't do that. I don't even wanna do that."
King Ralph
"Don't worry. We'll find you an exemplary consort."
King Ralph
"A woman of such distinction as to far exceed your standards."
King Ralph
"I've always liked my standards down where they are."
King Ralph
"RALPH: Welcome, Your Majesty, on behalf of the people of the United Kingdom."
King Ralph
"It's our pleasure to have you as our guest."
King Ralph
"Welcome, Your Majesty, on behalf of the people..."
King Ralph
"You got a good thing goin' here. Don't blow it."
King Ralph
"Don't worry, Your Majesty. You'll be fine."
King Ralph
"(FANFARE)"
King Ralph
"Your Majesty, may I present His Royal Highness King Mulambon of Zambezi."
King Ralph
"Hey, homes! What's happenin'?"
King Ralph
"Gimme a quintet, brother!"
King Ralph
"I do not comprehend, Your Majesty."
King Ralph
"Welcome, Your Majesty, on behalf of the people of the United Kingdom..."
King Ralph
"You wanna go get a beer?"
King Ralph
"Do you feel that being the king of a major nation is tougher than you thought?"
King Ralph
"Yes, it is difficult sometimes, with all the ceremonial duties and official obligations."
King Ralph
"But I'm quite pleased with the economic progress my country has made."
King Ralph
"We are hoping to be the first in Africa to market an automobile."
King Ralph
"Really? I might be in the market myself soon. The Rolls doesn't have much poop."
King Ralph
"- This car gonna have fuel injection? - Everything. Five-speed transmission..."
King Ralph
"- Reclining buckets? Rear spoiler? - No, but it'll get excellent gas mileage."
King Ralph
"Gas mileage is fine, but keep in mind the first question any car-buyer asks:"
King Ralph
"'Will this get me laid?'"
King Ralph
"Beautifully stated."
King Ralph
"Ah!"
King Ralph
"Looks like that's all she wrote. Wanna go again?"
King Ralph
"Yes."
King Ralph
"Hi-ya!"
King Ralph
"- What was that, a five? - No, it was a three."
King Ralph
"- Not on the line? - Makes no difference."
King Ralph
"- I plan to claim victory with this throw. - Be careful not to foot-fault there."
King Ralph
"If he gets anything better than a seven here, we're screwed."
King Ralph
"(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)"
King Ralph
"- You're good. Can I get a set of those? - I'll send you one."
King Ralph
"Listen, I've been meaning to ask you. Do they tell you who you can date over there?"
King Ralph
"Of course not. I am the king."
King Ralph
"Damn. I knew I was gettin' hosed over here."
King Ralph
"Well, I think he did pretty well, considering. It could have been worse."
King Ralph
"Yes, he could have exposed himself, I suppose."
King Ralph
"(PHONE RINGS)"
King Ralph
"Yes?"
King Ralph
"The Prime Minister for you, sir."
King Ralph
"Good afternoon, Prime Minister."
King Ralph
"Yes."
King Ralph
"Oh, really?"
King Ralph
"Well, it's a strange world we live in, isn't it, sir?"
King Ralph
"Yes, thank you. Goodbye."
King Ralph
"The Prime Minister spoke to King Mulambon."
King Ralph
"The king said he couldn't remember when he'd had so much fun."
King Ralph
"- Sherry? - Please, yes."
King Ralph
"King Ralph seems to have passed his first diplomatic test with high marks."
King Ralph
"The king's personal style, which had raised some eyebrows in official circles..."
King Ralph
"is now being characterised as "a breath of fresh air"."
King Ralph
"Congratulations, Your Majesty."
King Ralph
"We were a little nervous when we first decided to take a chance on you..."
King Ralph
"but, erm..."
King Ralph
"- I really did all right then, huh? - Yes, but don't let it go to your head."
King Ralph
"Today's 'breath of fresh air' can quickly become tomorrow's 'ill wind'."
King Ralph
"Now the Zambezi thing's over with, I got a couple weeks of vacation coming, right?"
King Ralph
"If anything we will have to increase public appearances in light of your popularity."
King Ralph
"And the ball season will soon be upon us. You will need dance lessons."
King Ralph
"Waltz, foxtrot, even eightsome reel."
King Ralph
"Come on, I haven't had a day off since I've been here."
King Ralph
"I can't go out, I eat alone, I live in a museum, I sleep in an auditorium..."
King Ralph
"- You will get used to it. - I got no family, no sex life."
King Ralph
"Good. Less chance for scandal."
King Ralph
"I don't see anybody that doesn't work for me. I'm gettin' palace fever."
King Ralph
"Are you trying to tell me in your uniquely American way that you are lonely?"
King Ralph
"Yeah."
King Ralph
"Don't lose patience, Your Majesty. We are working on the problem."
King Ralph
"Good evening."
King Ralph
"Right, I'm gonna give you guys one more chance. Fetch!"
King Ralph
"Sir Guy Cracknell..."
King Ralph
"Knight of the British Empire."
King Ralph
"Ooh, I'm sorry. Are you all right?"
King Ralph
"I got him. I got him good. I'm sorry. Really, I'm terribly sorry."
King Ralph
"I gotta get outta here."
King Ralph
"Your evening cocoa, Your Majesty."
King Ralph
"- RALPH: You haven't seen this, Gordon. - Haven't seen what, Your Majesty?"
King Ralph
"- I really need a night out, Gordon. - There are easier ways."
King Ralph
"Stay, boy. Stay."
King Ralph
"(PHONE RINGS)"
King Ralph
"Hello?"
King Ralph
"Congratulations, my dear. The king has broken out of the palace..."
King Ralph
"and is at this very moment on his way to see you."
King Ralph
"When he calls, meet him wherever he chooses."
King Ralph
"There will be a photographer following you."
King Ralph
"Make sure that he gets what he needs. Good luck."
King Ralph
"Oh, yeah!"
King Ralph
"Hello, Miranda? It's me, Ralph."
King Ralph
"Am I glad to see you! People are lookin' at me."
King Ralph
"- Are you alone? - Yeah. There's somethin' I wanna do."
King Ralph
"Two double Whoppers with fries and two giant Cokes."
King Ralph
"Two double Whoppers, two fries, two giants!"
King Ralph
"- Got any money? I haven't been paid. - Sure."
King Ralph
"You know, you look familiar."
King Ralph
"Aren't you...?"
King Ralph
"Yeah, you are, aren't you? You're the new king!"
King Ralph
"What, are you crazy? What would I be doin' in here?"
King Ralph
"It's the king!"
King Ralph
"Could I have the burgers, please?"
King Ralph
"- Oh, look! It's the king! - RALPH: No, you got the wrong guy."
King Ralph
"I ain't him. I can't..."
King Ralph
"All right, all right, one or two."
King Ralph
"Your Majesty, here's a burger on the house."
King Ralph
"- I think I'm gonna need a new burger. - Over here, Your Majesty."
King Ralph
"Maybe just one quick one."
King Ralph
"Could you move a little closer together? That's lovely."
King Ralph
"Maybe put your arm around him and give him a little kiss."
King Ralph
"Very nice."
King Ralph
"- What the hell did you do that for? - We've got to go."
King Ralph
"- The fries aren't ready. - There'll be photographers everywhere."
King Ralph
"- How about some onion rings? - Your Majesty, I've got your burger."
King Ralph
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