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Clips from King Ralph

"Yes, well, of these new states..."
King Ralph
"Zambezi is the most important, owing to its recently discovered mineral wealth."
King Ralph
"That's pretty much my feeling."
King Ralph
"So we've decided to invite King Mulambon of Zambezi to visit England on the 23rd."
King Ralph
"- I didn't know Zambezi even had a king. - They didn't until recently."
King Ralph
"Mulambon is anxious to legitimise himself..."
King Ralph
"by rubbing elbows with the royal houses of Europe."
King Ralph
"So, Your Majesty, we would be grateful if you would host a reception for... him..."
King Ralph
"(SNORES)"
King Ralph
"You'll have to excuse him, Prime Minister. He is more of a night owl."
King Ralph
"Extraordinary fellow. Could I have a word, Willingham?"
King Ralph
"He simply won't do. He's common, ignorant and extremely ill-mannered."
King Ralph
"The man's an orangutan. God help us with the King of Zambezi."
King Ralph
"# Well, be-bop a-lula"
King Ralph
"# She's my baby"
King Ralph
"# Be-bop a-lula"
King Ralph
"# I don't mean maybe"
King Ralph
"- Your Majesty? - Yes?"
King Ralph
"- Did you have a nice nap? - I guess the jet lag caught up with me."
King Ralph
"- I'm ready to go now, though. - Good. There's much to cover."
King Ralph
"The new uniforms are ready and I brought some books to read."
King Ralph
"One on English history, one on the lives of the monarchs..."
King Ralph
"and a primer on etiquette. What's this?"
King Ralph
"Date night. Where does the king eat in this town? I'm in the mood for sushi."
King Ralph
"That's out of the question. We haven't arranged security."
King Ralph
"Japanese are dangerous here?"
King Ralph
"Your Majesty, there are elements at large who might seek to do the king harm..."
King Ralph
"- ...for their own personal ends. - What kinda harm?"
King Ralph
"Well, kidnapping you for ransom. In some cases, even..."
King Ralph
"Even what? Killin' me? You know, Ced, I can't take too many more surprises."
King Ralph
"Where was this when Phipps was goin' on about the castles?"
King Ralph
"We didn't want to alarm you. There's nothing to fear if precautions are taken."
King Ralph
"You must accept some limitations on your personal freedom, and on your wardrobe."
King Ralph
"So far, there are no royal luaus planned."
King Ralph
"There's still gotta be a way to get this date in. I'm serious, Ced."
King Ralph
"After all, I am the king, right?"
King Ralph
"Very well... Your Maj."
King Ralph
"DRIVER: I've got the king's special permission."
King Ralph
"POLICEMAN: Go through."
King Ralph
"Miss Greene, Your Majesty."
King Ralph
"- Your Majesty. - You don't have to worry about that."
King Ralph
"- And please, call me Ralph. - Oh, I'm sorry. I could never do that."
King Ralph
"Yeah, God knows what could happen!"
King Ralph
"Well, I guess just the seven of us."
King Ralph
"That was a lovely dinner. I can't believe I'm eating in the throne room."
King Ralph
"Yeah, well, Willingham wanted it to be intimate."
King Ralph
"I asked Gordon to get us some music, something we can dance to."
King Ralph
"Oh, here's dessert."
King Ralph
"Would you care for some spotted..."
King Ralph
"Dick?"
King Ralph
"Yeah."
King Ralph
"I came to London to study design."
King Ralph
"I only tried exotic dancing because I needed some extra money."
King Ralph
"I went to night school for a bit."
King Ralph
"But when my dad lost his job, I started sending money home."
King Ralph
"There wasn't enough to live on and go to school."
King Ralph
"Now I don't know if I'll ever get back to it."
King Ralph
"Sure you will. Something'll break for ya."
King Ralph
"I've never done anything my whole life and look where I am. There."
King Ralph
"- What's this? - What's what?"
King Ralph
"- There's no such word as 'yo'. - Are you crazy? I use it all the time."
King Ralph
"You don't have to look it up. We're using the King's English. If I say it, it's a word."
King Ralph
"By the way, the Y's on a triple-word score. I'm starting to catch up here."
King Ralph
"Narrowed the gap to 164 points."
King Ralph
"What?"
King Ralph
"I don't know. You're not the kind of girl I'm used to."
King Ralph
"You can spell, you wear clothes to work. You just have more class, I guess."
King Ralph
"I'm just a sales girl from South London."
King Ralph
"It doesn't count for much class down here, but it's nice of you to say so."
King Ralph
"Look, I know our deal was just for one date, but do you think we could extend it?"
King Ralph
"You don't really know me."
King Ralph
"There are things about me you might not like."
King Ralph
"Like what? You're beautiful, you're smart, you're honest."
King Ralph
"I should go."
King Ralph
"- Thank you for a lovely evening. - Thank you."
King Ralph
"(DOOR OPENS)"
King Ralph
"I'm sorry it took such a long time, Your Majesty, but I found you some music."
King Ralph
"I hope you aren't enamoured of her."
King Ralph
"- It would never work out. - Why not?"
King Ralph
"As king, you are expected to marry a woman of noble birth..."
King Ralph
"particularly given your less-than-perfect breeding."
King Ralph
"And Miss Greene, fetching as she may be, does not qualify."
King Ralph
"Your Majesty may remember, in 1936..."
King Ralph
"King Edward fell in love with a commoner and had to abdicate his throne."
King Ralph
"The House of Wyndham can ill afford another such disaster."
King Ralph
"I didn't say I'd marry her. I just wanna take her out."
King Ralph
"With respect, your Majesty, it would be best for both of you..."
King Ralph
"if you did not see Miss Greene at all."
King Ralph
"But if you insist, it's imperative that you only see her here at the palace."
King Ralph
"I'll teach you a poem to help you remember the order of the kings."
King Ralph
"One, two, three Eds, Richard two, Henry four, five, six, then who?"
King Ralph
"Edward four, five, Rich the bad, then Richard III..."
King Ralph
"Then Henrys twice and Ed the Lad."
King Ralph
"Mary, Lizzie, James the vain, Charlie, Charlie, James again..."
King Ralph
"She's already seen him twice this week."
King Ralph
"We could tip off the press next time. Have some photographers outside."
King Ralph
"No, let's wait a bit longer."
King Ralph
"Give him enough time to become hopelessly infatuated with her."
King Ralph
"Pull!"
King Ralph
"Now this is what I call a room."
King Ralph
"Your Majesty, the Sovereign King Mulambon of Zambezi."
King Ralph
"Welcome, Your Majesty, on behalf of the people of the United Kingdom..."
King Ralph
"And the Commonwealth."
King Ralph
"And the Commonwealth, for which we... no."
King Ralph
"It's a great pleasure..."
King Ralph
"to have you as our guest."
King Ralph
"We hope you had a pleasant trip."
King Ralph
"Oh, look! See the swan?"
King Ralph
"Keep those knees tight in. Sit back."
King Ralph
"Grip with the knees."
King Ralph
"Heels down! Heels down!"
King Ralph
"Whoa!"
King Ralph
"Your Majesty."
King Ralph
"Oh, blast!"
King Ralph
"Hello, newsdesk?"
King Ralph
"I have something you might be interested in."
King Ralph
"PHIPPS: When in public, a royal personage must refrain..."
King Ralph
"“from chewing gum, using profanity..."
King Ralph
"“picking his nose, scratching his private parts..."
King Ralph
"and staring dawn the bust lines of female dignitaries."
King Ralph
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