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Clips from King Ralph

"Everywhere."
King Ralph
"You might be thinking what name you'd like to use as king."
King Ralph
"'Edward' and 'George' have been popular this century."
King Ralph
"- What's wrong with 'Ralph'? - It lacks a certain... majesty."
King Ralph
"I can't really think of any notable Ralphs."
King Ralph
"Well, sure..."
King Ralph
"Ralph Macchio. Ralph Lauren."
King Ralph
"Ralph Kramden."
King Ralph
"Oh, this is extremely nice. Better than I'm used to."
King Ralph
"This is the picture gallery. Many of the people in the paintings are your relatives."
King Ralph
"That's the Duke of Warren, your unfortunate grandfather."
King Ralph
"You have his chin."
King Ralph
"That's George III. You may remember him."
King Ralph
"He was king during that little temper tantrum you call the Revolutionary War."
King Ralph
"Sounds like sour grapes to me, Ced. After all, we did kick your ass."
King Ralph
"The loss is entirely yours, or rather theirs."
King Ralph
"Try to remember you're an Englishman now."
King Ralph
"OK, but I still think they kicked our ass."
King Ralph
"Just a few quick questions to probe your knowledge of English history."
King Ralph
"Fine."
King Ralph
"When she failed to give him a son, Henry VIII had Anne Boleyn...?"
King Ralph
"- Look into adoption? - Beheaded."
King Ralph
"Jeez, this is a tough country."
King Ralph
"Would this be to your liking, Your Majesty?"
King Ralph
"You know, I kinda like that."
King Ralph
"That's an upholstery fabric, Your Majesty."
King Ralph
"English people don't generally like their monarch to look like a sofa."
King Ralph
"Ah."
King Ralph
"These are traditional English dishes, some of which you will be served tonight."
King Ralph
"Here we have roast beef and Yorkshire pudding..."
King Ralph
"bangers and mash and the ever-popular spotted dick."
King Ralph
"Spotted dick?!"
King Ralph
"- Dick of what? - These are the bangers."
King Ralph
"Sausages."
King Ralph
"The spotted dick is a dessert."
King Ralph
"Could I just have some ice cream?"
King Ralph
"Quite an eventful first day, Your Majesty. I'll leave you to rest now."
King Ralph
"This is Your Majesty's bedroom."
King Ralph
"There you go, chief."
King Ralph
"Unfortunately, you can redecorate your private quarters as you see fit."
King Ralph
"- Good. I got a few ideas. - The velours industry is on stand-by."
King Ralph
"Through those doors is your dining room, and across the way, the bath."
King Ralph
"Through here is your study..."
King Ralph
"and there is your dressing room."
King Ralph
"Anything we've left out?"
King Ralph
"I don't know. How about a bowling alley?"
King Ralph
"One other thing. At your coronation four months hence..."
King Ralph
"you will be required to wear the imperial state crown."
King Ralph
"It's usually kept in the Tower of London, but we placed it near your bed..."
King Ralph
"as a reminder of the eminence of your office."
King Ralph
"It contains the Star of India, the second largest diamond in the world."
King Ralph
"You should practise wearing it to get used to the weight."
King Ralph
"- Good evening, Your Majesty. - Thanks."
King Ralph
"- Hey, Ced. - Yes?"
King Ralph
"What exactly is it that a king does all day?"
King Ralph
"Scarcely a minute is unaccounted for."
King Ralph
"Nevertheless, what you do is not as important as what you are."
King Ralph
"What am I?"
King Ralph
"To be the King of England is a responsibility like no other on Earth."
King Ralph
"You must become a symbol of all that is best about England."
King Ralph
"An embodiment of our history, our culture, our morality, our pride of achievement."
King Ralph
"In short, our ideal of civilisation. You must, under harsh public scrutiny..."
King Ralph
"exhibit all of our virtues and none of our shortcomings."
King Ralph
"Wait a minute. I thought all I was supposed to do was dress up and wave."
King Ralph
"- I don't even know what our virtues are. - You will learn soon enough."
King Ralph
"I'm afraid it's a god's burden to bear. Unfortunately, it must be borne by a man."
King Ralph
"Good evening, Your Majesty."
King Ralph
"It's not enough simply to be the king. You must look and act like one."
King Ralph
"We'll begin with the walk."
King Ralph
"Imagine yourself to be the master of your domain."
King Ralph
"A leader of men."
King Ralph
"Don't swing your arms."
King Ralph
"Back straight."
King Ralph
"Head up."
King Ralph
"But relaxed."
King Ralph
"How am I doin'?"
King Ralph
"It's an unmitigated catastrophe, Prime Minister."
King Ralph
"This song-and-dance man from the colonies..."
King Ralph
"It's the end of everything that we hold dear."
King Ralph
"And please try to keep in mind that Jones will need a certain period of adjustment."
King Ralph
"He's American. He's impervious to adjustment."
King Ralph
"Better to declare his line at an end than subject England to this embarrassment."
King Ralph
"Are you suggesting that we have no king at all?"
King Ralph
"Certainly not. Simply choose a king from the House of Stuart..."
King Ralph
"who reigned in glory before the Wyndhams. Make theirs a royal line again."
King Ralph
"That would be your line, Lord Graves, making you next in line for the throne."
King Ralph
"Yes, I believe it would."
King Ralph
"Removing Jones would be a drastic measure for us to take at this juncture."
King Ralph
"After all, he does have royal blood, no matter how badly diluted."
King Ralph
"So until he commits some grievous error, we will simply have to live with him."
King Ralph
"Well... yes."
King Ralph
"I suppose so."
King Ralph
"Well, Jones, you really fell upstairs this time."
King Ralph
"Too bad it's only gonna last the rest of your life!"
King Ralph
"(BELL RINGS)"
King Ralph
"- You called, Your Majesty? - Which one are you, again?"
King Ralph
"Gordon, Your Majesty's page."
King Ralph
"Yeah, Gordon. Could you bring me something?"
King Ralph
"- Anything. - Anything, Your Majesty?"
King Ralph
"I've never had anybody bring me something. I wanna try it out."
King Ralph
"Certainly. Perhaps an assortment of fine chocolates?"
King Ralph
"Got any Milk Duds?"
King Ralph
"(WHISTLES)"
King Ralph
"Sir Cedric, the king's gone! He just walked out."
King Ralph
"- Why didn't anyone stop him? - We tried, sir, but he is the king."
King Ralph
"- McGuire's with him. - We've got to find him before the press."
King Ralph
"Think! You've been made King of England. Where's the first place you would go?"
King Ralph
"(# AMERICAN DIXIE TUNE)"
King Ralph
"Our headliner, Miss Fanny Oakley. Thank you, Fanny!"
King Ralph
"And now a young lady making her professional debut..."
King Ralph
"straight from Las Vegas, Nevada..."
King Ralph
"Miss Flamingo Mirage!"
King Ralph
"(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)"
King Ralph
"(STRIPPING MUSIC)"
King Ralph
"(WHISTLING AND CHEERING)"
King Ralph
"Yes, sir. Brewer Street, Soho."
King Ralph
"I will, sir."
King Ralph
"- I'm sorry. I can't do this. - (MUSIC STOPS)"
King Ralph
"(WHISTLING AND BOOING)"
King Ralph
"Moving along now, let's welcome that saucy Southern Belle..."
King Ralph
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