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Clips from Avenue 5 - This Is Physically Hurting Me (S01E01)

"Everything is fake."
Avenue 5
"Guys, that's why they're making us throw out all of our belongings, okay?"
Avenue 5
"It's some sort of test or competition."
Avenue 5
"I think she's one of their stooges."
Avenue 5
"-Oh, really? -JADEN: Yeah."
Avenue 5
"Would a stooge threaten to sock you in the T-I-T-S?"
Avenue 5
"(CROWD GASPS)"
Avenue 5
"We are still on Earth."
Avenue 5
"These people are so dumb."
Avenue 5
"I am just hanging out with pigs and dolphins when we get back."
Avenue 5
"I get it, I get it."
Avenue 5
"(SHOUTING) Everyone, we're still on Earth!"
Avenue 5
"No, everyone-- Mia, stop! You are being hysterical."
Avenue 5
"I'm so confused!"
Avenue 5
"Doug, you can suck on this!"
Avenue 5
"Our son! He's still waiting for us!"
Avenue 5
"-We can go home now! -We're already home!"
Avenue 5
"We can just walk out of the airlock!"
Avenue 5
"Get out of the way, ya fake fuck!"
Avenue 5
"-I'm getting off this ship! -(ALL SHOUTING)"
Avenue 5
"Any of you-- No!"
Avenue 5
"(CROWD CLAMORING)"
Avenue 5
"(KAREN YELPS)"
Avenue 5
"Com tell me how this works! Make it work!"
Avenue 5
"Okay, I got it! You go get your boy."
Avenue 5
"(YELLING) I cannot believe you are making me"
Avenue 5
"save your simple little lives!"
Avenue 5
"There is real space out there, and it's real cold."
Avenue 5
"You go out there, you will freeze,"
Avenue 5
"-and you will die. -No, that is not true!"
Avenue 5
"Are you just gonna stand there? Do something!"
Avenue 5
"Oh, I see. So, just as these halfwits"
Avenue 5
"are dribbling down into quarterwits, I'm back."
Avenue 5
"Oh, that's great. So, I get my room and I get food?"
Avenue 5
"Wh-- Why do you have the captain's wig?"
Avenue 5
"'Cause I fancy him a bit."
Avenue 5
"Oh. Is that-- Is that character Sarah or you Sarah?"
Avenue 5
"Honestly, I don't know."
Avenue 5
"Go! Go save my fucking ship. Please."
Avenue 5
"I don't know why you think you're right and I am wrong."
Avenue 5
"-Because I work in VFX. -BARBARA: That stands for visual effects."
Avenue 5
"-MIKE: Visual effects. -I know what it fucking stands for!"
Avenue 5
"-MIA: Ah! -What do you mean, "Ah"?"
Avenue 5
"Okay, okay, okay! Listen!"
Avenue 5
"Listen, listen!"
Avenue 5
"I have also been out there,"
Avenue 5
"and let me tell you, it is real and it is horrible."
Avenue 5
"-It's real? -Yes."
Avenue 5
"-Like your hair is real? -(CROWD LAUGHS)"
Avenue 5
"MIKE: Fake captain, fake wig!"
Avenue 5
"Well, you know what? His beard is a different color"
Avenue 5
"than his hair. Maybe it's a wig!"
Avenue 5
"Ow! Iris! Iris! Iris! My hair hurts!"
Avenue 5
"-Why is she hurting my hair? -Get your grubby hands--"
Avenue 5
"I can't even touch his hair!"
Avenue 5
"They're your people. They're idiots."
Avenue 5
"Speak idiot to them!"
Avenue 5
"Okay, listen, listen, everybody."
Avenue 5
"You do not want to go out there."
Avenue 5
"-Because if you do-- -See?!"
Avenue 5
"-JADEN: Shit! -Signs fall off the wall."
Avenue 5
"-It's like a set! -It's fake!"
Avenue 5
"W-- Wait. No, no, it's not fake. It's just cheap. Cost effective."
Avenue 5
"We are in a simulation!"
Avenue 5
"Oh, don't be as stupid as your face!"
Avenue 5
"BARBARA: Hey! He can't help his face!"
Avenue 5
"RYAN: Well, I mean--"
Avenue 5
"-MATT: I believe you! -(CROWD FALLS SILENT)"
Avenue 5
"We're in a simulation."
Avenue 5
"No. Matt, Matt, this is not the time."
Avenue 5
"But it is the universe that is the simulation, not the ship."
Avenue 5
"WOMAN: Universe?"
Avenue 5
"The smallest subatomic particles we can see look like pixels."
Avenue 5
"This is all a game."
Avenue 5
"But it feels real,"
Avenue 5
"and if you go out there,"
Avenue 5
"you will die within the simulation."
Avenue 5
"Okay, that-- That actually is pretty good. -BILLIE: Yeah."
Avenue 5
"And the fact that you left your son in a coma back on Earth"
Avenue 5
"does not make you a bad person."
Avenue 5
"But look, I mean, if you wanna go out..."
Avenue 5
"you can go out."
Avenue 5
"The code is five-three-three-five."
Avenue 5
"-You can do it. -(CROWD CLAMORS)"
Avenue 5
"-RYAN: No, no, ah-ah-ah-- -I mean, free will, right?"
Avenue 5
"But I think... (CHUCKLES) ...in your heart,"
Avenue 5
"you're 99 percent sure that that's wrong."
Avenue 5
"MIA: I'm gonna do it."
Avenue 5
"Something has felt fucked up on this ship from the start."
Avenue 5
"Mia! No!"
Avenue 5
"-No, don't, don't, don't! -Wait, what?"
Avenue 5
"Yeah, I-- I'm just, I'm just sayin'."
Avenue 5
"Just don't go!"
Avenue 5
"I will-- I will donate my golf clubs."
Avenue 5
"-What? -Yes."
Avenue 5
"To jettison, okay?"
Avenue 5
"-Can you guys? There's a sig-- This needs to hit-- Here. -(METAL CLANGS)"
Avenue 5
"-Uh-oh. -DOUG: Sir, you're in the way. Actually,"
Avenue 5
"stay exactly where you are--"
Avenue 5
"-MIKE: (SCREAMS) Jared! Daddy's coming! -(ALL GASPING)"
Avenue 5
"-(MIKE WAILING) -(CROWD CLAMORING)"
Avenue 5
"No! No!"
Avenue 5
"Mike, no!"
Avenue 5
"No, no, no!"
Avenue 5
"MIKE: Jared! I'm coming, son!"
Avenue 5
"(CRACKLING)"
Avenue 5
"(ALL GROAN)"
Avenue 5
"(INAUDIBLE)"
Avenue 5
"BARBARA: (QUIETLY) Mike?"
Avenue 5
"(STAMMERS) It's VFX, guys."
Avenue 5
"Visual effects."
Avenue 5
"It's a projection. It's not even very good ones."
Avenue 5
"That guy is gonna be headed to the green room"
Avenue 5
"-any minute now. -Yeah, the green room."
Avenue 5
"What? No, no-- What are you talking about?"
Avenue 5
"JADEN: He's gonna go to the green room. He's fine."
Avenue 5
"He's a desiccated man!"
Avenue 5
"We just saw a man become desiccated!"
Avenue 5
"MATT: Oh, God."
Avenue 5
"You saved me, Doug."
Avenue 5
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