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Clips from Avenue 5 - This Is Physically Hurting Me (S01E01)

"-MAN: There he is. -MAN 2: Bless you."
Avenue 5
"-MAN 3: Do you see it, Billy? -The pope I do not see."
Avenue 5
"That right there... Is that an ear?"
Avenue 5
"No, it's a piece of shit."
Avenue 5
"♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) ♪"
Avenue 5
"For fuck's sake, get out of my way."
Avenue 5
"-He's Harrison. -RYAN CLARK: Who is Harrison?"
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"Somebody that I'm not scared of."
Avenue 5
"You remember Joe paired your hand print"
Avenue 5
"-with the emergency console? -You want me to dock the ship?"
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"You can learn because we have three-and-a-half years."
Avenue 5
"Is that enough time?"
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"No. You can't do it. Who am I kidding?"
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"-RAV MULCAIR: We need Judd here. -How?"
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"We bring him back on the supply pod."
Avenue 5
"-ALAN LEWIS: Rav! -MULCAIR: Not now!"
Avenue 5
"I'm not going anywhere until I've launched the shuttle."
Avenue 5
"(SCREAMING)"
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"If we eject the equivalent weight"
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"of 500 people... Pushing us"
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"in striking distance of Earth within six months."
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"-(CHEERING) -Non-essential items"
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"to the hallway for jettisoning."
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"You can follow my lead."
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"I overpacked."
Avenue 5
"♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪"
Avenue 5
"Thank you, you may join the line."
Avenue 5
"So, what non-essential items"
Avenue 5
"will you be getting rid of today?"
Avenue 5
"I've got two pairs of shoes."
Avenue 5
"Uh-uh. No. You cannot and you will not lose these."
Avenue 5
"-Oh, thank you. -What do you know?"
Avenue 5
"Um, jettison the loafers, we keep the heels."
Avenue 5
"-These are my only shoes. -Honey."
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"Count yourself lucky. Karen tried to get rid of me."
Avenue 5
"I mean, we have complementary slippers, so..."
Avenue 5
"-Thank you, join the line. -Thank you."
Avenue 5
"-Thank you. -KAREN KELLY: Thank you."
Avenue 5
"They didn't laugh."
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"-At what, sweetie? -My joke."
Avenue 5
"I was implying I was non-essential,"
Avenue 5
"but they took it seriously."
Avenue 5
"It was insanely funny. I was just laughing on the inside."
Avenue 5
"Hi, sweetie. What have you got for me today? Oh!"
Avenue 5
"Oh, my. This is a tough life lesson, right?"
Avenue 5
"RYAN CLARK: Sorry I'm late."
Avenue 5
"Just been depositing ten kilos of emotional baggage"
Avenue 5
"with Karen, the Empress of the Jetsam."
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"BILLIE MCEVOY: If you're late when it comes to flying this thing for real,"
Avenue 5
"we're all gonna die."
Avenue 5
"-Okay. -All right."
Avenue 5
"So, let's just get you settled, and--"
Avenue 5
"'Kay, no, hold on."
Avenue 5
"Can you-- Could you-- just give me a little bit of space?"
Avenue 5
"Feels like I'm trying to urinate"
Avenue 5
"in front of a war crimes tribunal."
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"-What an image. Okay. -RYAN: Thank you very much."
Avenue 5
"-Thank you. -Guys, just give him some room."
Avenue 5
"-Okay, so... -Yeah. Can I adjust the seat?"
Avenue 5
"No, the seat is--"
Avenue 5
"-That's too high. -Yeah. So, can--"
Avenue 5
"That's probably too low."
Avenue 5
"Yeah. Um-- Okay-- Can you just leave"
Avenue 5
"-leave the fucking seat-- -Fucking seat alone. Right."
Avenue 5
"Yeah, leave that alone."
Avenue 5
"Okay, let's begin."
Avenue 5
"-Starting the engine. -Wait, wait! No!"
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"Because the laterals are still engaged. So..."
Avenue 5
"Stopping the engine"
Avenue 5
"and disengaging the laterals, whatever they are."
Avenue 5
"How do I do that?"
Avenue 5
"-Come on. Come on, man. -(SHUSHING) No."
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"-This is physically hurting me. -Just give him a second, he's working it out."
Avenue 5
"-This is his process. -RYAN: This is-- This is-- Why didn't they just"
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"have a button that says "disengage--" Oh, look, they have-- look!"
Avenue 5
"-Yeah. -Yeah. Can I press it?"
Avenue 5
"At this point, I'm beginning to wonder."
Avenue 5
"Oh, wait. Yay. You can."
Avenue 5
"Uh, now I start the engine."
Avenue 5
"Uh, no, because you've got to clear the filters,"
Avenue 5
"which you do..."
Avenue 5
"-before you ignite-- -After I ignite the eng..."
Avenue 5
"(GROANS)"
Avenue 5
"Is that a good explosion?"
Avenue 5
"Well, we were in it."
Avenue 5
"KAREN: Each item, ask yourself, "Would I exchange that trinket"
Avenue 5
"for a human life?" Because basically,"
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"everything we own right now, blood diamonds."
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"Hey, how 'bout this?"
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"It's like an estate sale, and we're not even dead."
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"I'm doing my part. (CHUCKLES)"
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"-Hey, Fudd! -Fuck."
Avenue 5
"Have a look at these winners."
Avenue 5
"You know, these are more valuable to me"
Avenue 5
"than my previous and current wives combined."
Avenue 5
"-Oh yeah? -Mm-hmm."
Avenue 5
"Well, I'm more about personal responsibility,"
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"which is why I'm donating a Beatle skull."
Avenue 5
"Paul. No, wait, George."
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"Smaller cranium, protruding mandible."
Avenue 5
"Oh."
Avenue 5
"-Well... -(WOMAN GASPS)"
Avenue 5
"Something in the way he moves."
Avenue 5
"Hmm. What are your plans for your skull when you die?"
Avenue 5
"I would love to drink out of that."
Avenue 5
"You threatening my skull?"
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"Is he threatening to drink out of my skull?"
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"Why would you let him talk to me like that?"
Avenue 5
"I'll never let it happen again."
Avenue 5
"You know, I can't wait to see you led away in shackles,"
Avenue 5
"like the leisure industry huckster you are."
Avenue 5
"Good luck jettisoning those babies."
Avenue 5
"Okay, so concentrate."
Avenue 5
"-Right hand, left foot. -Right hand, left..."
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"-Left hand, left foot. Ignite... -...foot. Left hand, left..."
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"-...and throttle up for downward motion. -Oh, what is this?"
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"-Right hand, right foot. -Fucking country dancing?"
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"-Okay, come here! Let me-- -Just let go, all right?"
Avenue 5
"I can do this. I'm not in a care home."
Avenue 5
"Okay. I want you to increase the thrust."
Avenue 5
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