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Clips from Avenue 5 - This Is Physically Hurting Me (S01E01)

"-Sir. -Got that?"
Avenue 5
"You are stood down from your position"
Avenue 5
"-pending immediate court-martial. -Am I?"
Avenue 5
"Actually, we don't have the facility--"
Avenue 5
"-Do we have a brig? -You're just upset"
Avenue 5
"-about the way Harrison spoke to you. -I wanna see you rot"
Avenue 5
"-in space prison. -Space prison?"
Avenue 5
"Let's climb down from a place of anger."
Avenue 5
"Oh, I don't get angry. I have two emotions."
Avenue 5
"-Yeah? -Elation and genius."
Avenue 5
"-You are de-captained. -What are you doing? No, no, no!"
Avenue 5
"No, no. No, let--"
Avenue 5
"-IRIS: Okay-- Whoa-- -RYAN: Right, that is it!"
Avenue 5
"I've had enough. All right?"
Avenue 5
"I am not bowing and scraping to a demented child any longer!"
Avenue 5
"She's not a child. She's a grown woman!"
Avenue 5
"-What? -I'm talking about you!"
Avenue 5
"Oh, well, fuck you then!"
Avenue 5
"No more tugging my forelock!"
Avenue 5
"In fact, you can fucking have my forelock."
Avenue 5
"(ALL GASP)"
Avenue 5
"Oh my god! He's taking his head off!"
Avenue 5
"JUDD: Oh, what are you doing? That's disgusting!"
Avenue 5
"-WOMAN: Oh my god, he's taking off his head!"
Avenue 5
"-Is he removing a microchip? -TERI: Is he an android?"
Avenue 5
"Is that a hairpiece? You're British and bald?"
Avenue 5
"Balding! Balding!"
Avenue 5
"His lovely, lovely hair!"
Avenue 5
"Re-hair yourself! Please! I'll re-captain you!"
Avenue 5
"Actually, that's an order!"
Avenue 5
"-Put that thing back on! -No. No. You can't give me orders anymore."
Avenue 5
"-JUDD: What? -'Cause I'm a civilian."
Avenue 5
"All right, coming through, coming through!"
Avenue 5
"Chief petty passenger. I'm one of you now."
Avenue 5
"Oh, this wall, seems awfully curvy."
Avenue 5
"Why have they done that? One star, I think."
Avenue 5
"(SHOUTING) Fuck you, Captain Opioid!"
Avenue 5
"I'm gonna take this filthy hair to clean my shower..."
Avenue 5
"and my own balls!"
Avenue 5
"I've got a loofah!"
Avenue 5
"(NORMAL VOICE) Hey!"
Avenue 5
"I want this ship re-captained."
Avenue 5
"SPIKE: Nitro level is good."
Avenue 5
"Looking real good, ladies."
Avenue 5
"Beautiful orbit. Okay."
Avenue 5
"Okay, radial axis parameters?"
Avenue 5
"MADS: Uh..."
Avenue 5
"Modular... nomination units scanning all fields?"
Avenue 5
"Good. It's not what I asked, but switch it to manual, please."
Avenue 5
"Oh, shit. Really?"
Avenue 5
"SPIKE: Oh yeah. I can't wait."
Avenue 5
"I got this."
Avenue 5
"Yeah."
Avenue 5
"SPIKE: Now, let's see if these old fingers"
Avenue 5
"can still tickle a big gal."
Avenue 5
"Well, that's weird. It's not responding."
Avenue 5
"Oh, none of it responds. Look, if I just..."
Avenue 5
"(WHISPERING) Just sort of improv it."
Avenue 5
"Okay, if this is hazing 'cause it's my first day,"
Avenue 5
"I don't appreciate it."
Avenue 5
"Oh, no, no, it's great. It's just--"
Avenue 5
"you know, mime it a bit."
Avenue 5
"Okay, I'm just gonna go to comms."
Avenue 5
"(INAUDIBLE)"
Avenue 5
"Fuck's sake."
Avenue 5
"Is that junk for my collection?"
Avenue 5
"Oh, well, firstly, this is not junk,"
Avenue 5
"and secondly, it's not really your collection."
Avenue 5
"Well, I've been put in charge of it, so..."
Avenue 5
"Well, I don't know who put you in charge of it,"
Avenue 5
"but this was my idea. I mean, you should be using this stuff"
Avenue 5
"to build a statue of me."
Avenue 5
"Wow. Maybe you could donate your incredibly big head."
Avenue 5
"Wow. I was only joking."
Avenue 5
"She's not really getting jokes today."
Avenue 5
"-Frank. -JADEN: Hi, question."
Avenue 5
"If we really are moving at thousands of miles an hour,"
Avenue 5
"how come it doesn't feel like it?"
Avenue 5
"I don't have time to explain all of physics to you."
Avenue 5
"Okay, you don't have to explain all of physics to me,"
Avenue 5
"I work in VFX. It stands for visual effects?"
Avenue 5
"Oh. Well, I would like to see a visual effect of you"
Avenue 5
"-not talking to me. -Okay, rude."
Avenue 5
"Billie is only 30 percent flesh and blood."
Avenue 5
"The rest is... I don't know. Bone?"
Avenue 5
"And I'm still waiting on your ten kilos."
Avenue 5
"You want a donation?"
Avenue 5
"I don't want this."
Avenue 5
"Well. Why don't you take one of these stupid heavy things--"
Avenue 5
"Oh. It's actually quite light."
Avenue 5
"There are a lot of them, and they're completely useless,"
Avenue 5
"so there is your donation, and you're welcome."
Avenue 5
"-That came off pretty easy. -Yeah."
Avenue 5
"-Put it back, Frank. -Feel like a movie set."
Avenue 5
"-MIKE: Yeah. -JADEN: You know, I should know."
Avenue 5
"(CHUCKLES) I-- I actually-- I'm around movie sets a lot."
Avenue 5
"I work in VFX. Stands for visual effects."
Avenue 5
"(RAV CLEARS THROAT)"
Avenue 5
"I mean, things might blow over, though."
Avenue 5
"You know, while you're up on, uh, Avenue 5."
Avenue 5
"(SIGHS) Yeah, well, I think it'll take"
Avenue 5
"more than a couple of days to blow over."
Avenue 5
"Well, you're gonna be more than a couple of days."
Avenue 5
"(CHUCKLES) Sorry, sorry. I'm not staying on Avenue 5."
Avenue 5
"I'm grabbing Mr. Judd, and then we are going back."
Avenue 5
"Yeah... we're going back."
Avenue 5
"Yes, we're going back."
Avenue 5
"Yeah, but my "we're" or your "we're"?"
Avenue 5
"I feel like we're at crossed "we'res.""
Avenue 5
"We are-- Look, you, me, and Mr. Judd."
Avenue 5
"We are all going back to Earth."
Avenue 5
"Not if Mr. Judd is on this shuttle, you're not."
Avenue 5
"Well, can you give me one good reason why not?"
Avenue 5
"I can give you two. Count the seats."
Avenue 5
"WOMAN: (IN FOREIGN ACCENT) Hurry up."
Avenue 5
"-Hesitation gives me headache. -All right, sorry,"
Avenue 5
"I'm a buffet virgin."
Avenue 5
"DEVON: Hey, grandpa, can you hurry up?"
Avenue 5
"-Trying to get to the bacon. -I'm getting gang buffeted."
Avenue 5
"(WOMAN SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)"
Avenue 5
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