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Clips from Avenue 5 - This Is Physically Hurting Me (S01E01)

"Ease up. Ease up."
Avenue 5
"-Ease up! Ease up! -Is--? Is that--?"
Avenue 5
"Hey, little man. Here's what we're gonna do."
Avenue 5
"You're gonna thank him for his service,"
Avenue 5
"and then send him to his death."
Avenue 5
"Yes!"
Avenue 5
"Hey, Matt. You know what? Screw Harrison."
Avenue 5
"Anyway, stuff's just stuff."
Avenue 5
"What's more important is "people.""
Avenue 5
"Sir, you're doing it again."
Avenue 5
"You're air quoting around "people.""
Avenue 5
"Hmm? Look, hypothetically,"
Avenue 5
"if I were to just disappear,"
Avenue 5
"she wouldn't know what to do with herself."
Avenue 5
"She'd be a fucking train wreck. An absolute mess."
Avenue 5
"You can still see me, right?"
Avenue 5
"I'm non-hypothetically right here."
Avenue 5
"So I need you to promise me to work with her, Matt,"
Avenue 5
"in the event of my departure."
Avenue 5
"-Oh, I get it. You're diseased. -HERMAN JUDD: No."
Avenue 5
"Um... (WHISPERING) A shuttle is coming to Avenue 5,"
Avenue 5
"and they only have room for one passenger to return to Earth."
Avenue 5
"(WHISPERING) I'm going. It's, uh... the, um..."
Avenue 5
"-Ultimate sacrifice. -Ultimate sacrifice."
Avenue 5
"I'm leaving so that"
Avenue 5
"everyone else on the ship has a chance."
Avenue 5
"Are you sure you're comfortable leaving us"
Avenue 5
"in the incapable hands of a captain"
Avenue 5
"who has a serious addiction problem?"
Avenue 5
"(NORMAL VOICE) What? Addiction?"
Avenue 5
"-He is slamming sedatives. -What?"
Avenue 5
"And who knows what else?"
Avenue 5
"Hypnotics, opiates, floaters,"
Avenue 5
"-whompers, daddy dust. -Oh no."
Avenue 5
"-MATT SPENCER: Could be. -No. No!"
Avenue 5
"Not with a J on his uniform, he's not. (SHOUTS) Iris!"
Avenue 5
"-I'm right here. -Oh."
Avenue 5
"-(EXPLOSION ON SCREEN) -Oh, shitty biscuits! -(BILLIE GROANS)"
Avenue 5
"-CYRUS: That's a hundred dead. Five hundred dead. Seven hund-- -(RYAN GROANS)"
Avenue 5
"-Two thousand dead, 25-- -BILLIE: Just keep going--"
Avenue 5
"-That wasn't right. Oh! Damn it. -CYRUS: Three thousand! Three thousand, three th--"
Avenue 5
"-Four thousand! Five thousand. -God, what are those? Are those body parts?"
Avenue 5
"-Um... -Why would you simulate body parts?"
Avenue 5
"-(BILLIE GROANS) -(AMERICAN ACCENT) And that, Billie, is..."
Avenue 5
"how you crash, okay?"
Avenue 5
"So let's try and remember that."
Avenue 5
"It's right hand, left foot, left hand, left foot."
Avenue 5
"Okay? Gorgeous."
Avenue 5
"She's a little, uh, a little slow."
Avenue 5
"(SCOFFS) That's the first time you got it right."
Avenue 5
"(QUIETLY) I was just making it up."
Avenue 5
"So, what do you guys, um..."
Avenue 5
"-Yeah, how can we help you? -What do you guys need?"
Avenue 5
"Uh, we thought that Tabasco storage was in here."
Avenue 5
"Well, it's not."
Avenue 5
"Well, I'm kinda having a Bloody Mary emergency."
Avenue 5
"Yeah. You guys know Bloody Mary?"
Avenue 5
"It's an old drink named after this woman"
Avenue 5
"who liked to set Protestants on fire."
Avenue 5
"It's delish, and we need Tabasco for it."
Avenue 5
"Huh. I like this."
Avenue 5
"Shabby chic."
Avenue 5
"(CHUCKLES) That's funny. It's mean, though."
Avenue 5
"Yeah, what goes on here?"
Avenue 5
"There's a lot of tech for a locker room."
Avenue 5
"(STAMMERING) But it is just that."
Avenue 5
"It's just a u-- storage unit cum clubhouse."
Avenue 5
"Cum clubhouse?"
Avenue 5
"-We just... -We-- We-- We--"
Avenue 5
"-...hang out. -Hang out."
Avenue 5
"-She wants us to leave, Spike. -SPIKE MARTIN: Oh, okay."
Avenue 5
"Yeah, they probably got some freaky roleplay going on."
Avenue 5
"I will get you that Bloody Mary."
Avenue 5
"I swear this on the blood of Mary."
Avenue 5
"RAV MULCAIR: (GASPING) Oh, I'm gonna die! Oh, shit!"
Avenue 5
"Oh, hairy balls."
Avenue 5
"Exiting Earth's atmosphere in three, two, one..."
Avenue 5
"(BREATHING RAPIDLY)"
Avenue 5
"There. Feeling better?"
Avenue 5
"Stopped squeaking?"
Avenue 5
"-(CHUCKLES) -(CHUCKLES) Good."
Avenue 5
"Right, I'm just gonna listen to this true crime podcast"
Avenue 5
"about that Greta Gerwig thing."
Avenue 5
"Oh yeah, everyone's got a theory about that."
Avenue 5
"(CHUCKLES) Yeah."
Avenue 5
"Mmm... So..."
Avenue 5
"-Do you do these trips often? -(SIGHS)"
Avenue 5
"Well, I'm a pilot, so..."
Avenue 5
"-yeah. -(LAUGHS) Yeah."
Avenue 5
"Fancy a job swap? You can run Mission Control."
Avenue 5
"Oh, God no. (LAUGHING) Jesus Christ."
Avenue 5
"It's a shit show."
Avenue 5
"-Not if I see you first. -WOMAN: Okay, Captain."
Avenue 5
"(ENGLISH ACCENT) Oh, great. Am I about to get whacked?"
Avenue 5
"This is an intervention."
Avenue 5
"Oh, exciting. Who's getting intervented?"
Avenue 5
"I know about the drugs, Ryan."
Avenue 5
"-The drugs? -Don't be a junkie."
Avenue 5
"Don't destroy that perfect skin."
Avenue 5
"You think I-- The sedatives were for you!"
Avenue 5
"(CHUCKLING) I don't need sedatives."
Avenue 5
"There is no one on this ship who needs sedatives more."
Avenue 5
"You're like a whole zoo escaped."
Avenue 5
"I was trying to give everyone a break."
Avenue 5
"-(SHOUTS) Iris! -I'm right here."
Avenue 5
"This is-- This is a public area situation."
Avenue 5
"He tried..."
Avenue 5
"to mutiny against me."
Avenue 5
"She was in on it!"
Avenue 5
"That is so absurd, I don't even need to deny it."
Avenue 5
"Oh, Iris, you are presently shitting me."
Avenue 5
"If it's all the same, Iris, I'd like to hear you deny it."
Avenue 5
"-Denied. -There you go. Perfect. See?"
Avenue 5
"I mean, look at him. Junkie fuck."
Avenue 5
"He'd slash his nana's throat for half an Advil."
Avenue 5
"Okay, well, if we're done here,"
Avenue 5
"I have an appointment on the bridge,"
Avenue 5
"exchanging synthetic bollocks with the crew."
Avenue 5
"No! I forbid it! You're fired!"
Avenue 5
"-(JUDD GRUNTS) -What?"
Avenue 5
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