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Clips from The Mighty Boosh - Tundra (S01E01)

"Hi. Welcome to the show. My name's Vince Noir."
The Mighty Boosh
"This crazy character is Howard Moon."
The Mighty Boosh
"Don't touch me."
The Mighty Boosh
"He's such a joker. He's always doing stuff like that."
The Mighty Boosh
"I'm not joking. Don't ever touch me. Not now, not during the show, not ever."
The Mighty Boosh
"(Both) Aaahh!"
The Mighty Boosh
"Don't touch me."
The Mighty Boosh
"This week, we're gonna be going on a terrifying journey to distant lands."
The Mighty Boosh
"But we're also going on a different journey,"
The Mighty Boosh
"a journey into the depths of the human soul,"
The Mighty Boosh
"via my acting techniques."
The Mighty Boosh
"Plus, in one of the scenes, I'll have the legs of a ram. lmagine that."
The Mighty Boosh
"- That's not happening. I rewrote that bit. - That's the best bit."
The Mighty Boosh
"Yeah, but we thought about it, and we thought...no."
The Mighty Boosh
"- We? What do you mean, we? - Me and Leroy had a little look-see."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Leroy? - Yeah."
The Mighty Boosh
"He's got no business messing with the scripts. He works at the ice rink."
The Mighty Boosh
"He brought a fresh pair of eyes to it. Fresh perspective."
The Mighty Boosh
"- He sells Slush Puppies. - He rewrote it."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Oh, great. - Yeah. That's the way it's staying."
The Mighty Boosh
"- It was his idea in the first place. - I can't do anything about it."
The Mighty Boosh
"I'm going to ring him and take him to task."
The Mighty Boosh
"Enjoy the show."
The Mighty Boosh
"..to the world of The Mighty Boosh."
The Mighty Boosh
"Come with us to The Mighty Boosh The Mighty Boosh"
The Mighty Boosh
"Come with us to The Mighty Boosh"
The Mighty Boosh
"(Elephant trumpets)"
The Mighty Boosh
"OK, gather round."
The Mighty Boosh
"Now, Dixon Bainbridge, owner of the zoo and world-famous explorer,"
The Mighty Boosh
"wilI be returning from his travels today to deliver a lecture on the Arctic tundra."
The Mighty Boosh
"Boy, are we lucky!"
The Mighty Boosh
"Now, I want everyone to mind their Ps and Qs. That means no effing and jeffing."
The Mighty Boosh
"And I want you to look presentable. That means shoes, Naboo."
The Mighty Boosh
"(Monkeys screech)"
The Mighty Boosh
"And, hey, Kerouac. You ever heard of a comb?"
The Mighty Boosh
"Get on it. Now, he'lI be here any second."
The Mighty Boosh
"I don't want you to rush up to us."
The Mighty Boosh
"We've got a lot of business to cover. We've been friends for years."
The Mighty Boosh
"He may try to kiss me on the cheek, maybe the mouth."
The Mighty Boosh
"I don't know how lucky I'll get. Wait, here he comes. Get the gate."
The Mighty Boosh
"(# Fanfare)"
The Mighty Boosh
"Welcome, Bainbridge, on behalf of..."
The Mighty Boosh
"Ooh! Ooh!"
The Mighty Boosh
"That one in the bedroom. That one's got booze in it. Be careful."
The Mighty Boosh
"What are you looking at? We do this alI the time."
The Mighty Boosh
"Nice one, Bainbridge."
The Mighty Boosh
"Get to work, alI of you."
The Mighty Boosh
"I'm sick of this."
The Mighty Boosh
"- What's wrong with you? - I'm a trained zoo keeper."
The Mighty Boosh
"- I spend my days shovelling dung. - There is a lot of it."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Where's it coming from? - Him."
The Mighty Boosh
"Huh? I only had one banana."
The Mighty Boosh
"Where's the respect I'm due? That's what I want to know."
The Mighty Boosh
"Come on. You're getting alI tense again."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Eh? - Look at you. You're like a brandy snap."
The Mighty Boosh
"- That's my style. - The brandy snap?"
The Mighty Boosh
"- Yeah. The crunchy tube. - Really? Come on."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Just relax. - I can't."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Why? - Cos of him. Dixon Bainbridge."
The Mighty Boosh
"(Howard) Look at him swanning around."
The Mighty Boosh
"Not on its head."
The Mighty Boosh
"That's beautiful, too."
The Mighty Boosh
"''l've been to the Arctic. Everyone's playing trumpets and dancing.''"
The Mighty Boosh
"- He's a man of action. - I'm a man of action,"
The Mighty Boosh
"given the right opportunity."
The Mighty Boosh
"- What's he got that I haven't got? - A moustache."
The Mighty Boosh
"What do you think this is l've got going on here?"
The Mighty Boosh
"As if that's a moustache. That's a cappuccino stain."
The Mighty Boosh
"How dare you. This is at least a mocha, OK? Don't be mocking my mocha."
The Mighty Boosh
"- This is a month's grooming. - A month? For that?"
The Mighty Boosh
"That's useless. Look at his. It's like a silver horseshoe."
The Mighty Boosh
"Whatever."
The Mighty Boosh
"I could do what Bainbridge is doing. I could do alI that."
The Mighty Boosh
"lmagine the headlines. ''Howard Moon'', colon ''Explorer''. It's got a ring to it."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Colon explorer? - You know what I'm saying."
The Mighty Boosh
"- That's got the wrong ring to it. - I just need that break."
The Mighty Boosh
"- l'd be out of here in an instant. - What about me? What am I gonna do?"
The Mighty Boosh
"You could come with me. You could be my sidekick."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Sidekick? - Carry my bags and stuff like that."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Get stuffed. - With my training, you could do alI right."
The Mighty Boosh
"I don't need training from you. I'm a gifted child."
The Mighty Boosh
"I can talk to animals. I'm like Mowgli, the retro version."
The Mighty Boosh
"I know. That's no secret. You're a gifted keeper, that's why I hired you."
The Mighty Boosh
"Look at me, Vince. Sometimes I think you squander that gift."
The Mighty Boosh
"What do you mean?"
The Mighty Boosh
"You think animals care about Gary Numan?"
The Mighty Boosh
"- I don't talk to them about him. - You always go on about him."
The Mighty Boosh
"- And you dress them up. - I do not."
The Mighty Boosh
"- You dressed up the lion as Adam Ant. - He did that himself."
The Mighty Boosh
"He did the epaulettes, did he?"
The Mighty Boosh
"- The thing is about Numan... - I'm not interested."
The Mighty Boosh
"Let me give you this one snippet."
The Mighty Boosh
"Not only is he a pop star, he's got a pilot's licence. lmagine that."
The Mighty Boosh
"l've got a pilot's licence. Do I go on about it? No."
The Mighty Boosh
"- You haven't. - I have. I flew to work this morning."
The Mighty Boosh
"- You came with me on the tram system. - That wasn't me."
The Mighty Boosh
"- What? - That was my double."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Double? - Joycey."
The Mighty Boosh
"- Joycey? - Joycey Banicek."
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"- Who are you now? Howard or Joycey? - I don't even know that myself."
The Mighty Boosh
"- That's the mystery. - l've got a double."
The Mighty Boosh
"- You always have to have what I have. - Trisha."
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"- You can't have one just cos I have. - Can I be Trisha?"
The Mighty Boosh
"- I do the double stuff. - Let Trisha come to life."
The Mighty Boosh
"(Sighs)"
The Mighty Boosh
"I felI off the mountain ledge, but luckily, my falI was broken by a wolf."
The Mighty Boosh
"The wolf attacked me, but fortunately I had a pistol hidden in my mustache."
The Mighty Boosh
"I shot him, but he was only wounded."
The Mighty Boosh
"- He took my hand. - What, in marriage? (Chuckles)"
The Mighty Boosh
"After fighting with the wolf, I set off to find the Egg of Mantumbi,"
The Mighty Boosh
"a sapphire, as big as a schoolboy's head."
The Mighty Boosh
"(# Mobile ringtone: Gary Numan's Cars)"
The Mighty Boosh
"AlI right, you two beatniks! What do you think this is,"
The Mighty Boosh
"a day at the races with Uncle Bobo?"
The Mighty Boosh
"This is a real-live action man, with loads of action stories."
The Mighty Boosh
"Now listen up and fly right."
The Mighty Boosh
"Go ahead, pumpkin."
The Mighty Boosh
"It's OK. Let the boys have their fun."
The Mighty Boosh
"I understand it took Howard Moon one month to grow that moustache."
The Mighty Boosh
"(Laughter)"
The Mighty Boosh
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