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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - Kimmy Kisses a Boy! (S01E01)

"- Charade? - Ha!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Tell me I'm a pretty boy. - I can't do that."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What are you two doing?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"[both] Sports."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"How old do you think I am?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Titus, age doesn't matter."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You can die at any time."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"[cell phone rings]"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Hey, you. What's going on?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Not much. Where are you right now?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Home."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Just sucking on a chill pill."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Cool. Are you free?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Sure. What's up?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Uh, I want us to get to the next level."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I've only got one life,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"so it's now or never."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What do you mean next level?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Like, relationship-wise?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Let's go for it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I found these butterscotch’s in my pocket."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"They just appeared!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's a sign!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Come on, I'm totally exposed here."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Don't let me down, dude."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Okay, dude. I'm in."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Awesome! Yes! I love you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Me, too."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Hey, Cyndee, we're friends no matter what, right?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Of course. - Okay."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Well, maybe I'm spoiled because things are going"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"so well with Charles,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"but I think you can do better than Brandon."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Are you kidding?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Brandon's perfect."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"He takes care of me... like you used to."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Okay, I just want you to be happy, so..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"[orchestral music]"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Cyndee Sandy Pokorny, will you..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Yes! Oh!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Of course I will! Oh!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What the H-E-double... No."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You know what? What the hell, Brandon?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Kimmy, don't use that kind of language"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"in front of a unicorn."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, my gosh, Cyndee, unicorns aren't..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Offended by strong language. Their magic protects them."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I think we all just want Cyndee to be happy no matter what."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"This is too far."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Brandon is gay, Cyndee."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- He likes men. - [scoffs] Gay?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Would a gay guy have just asked Cyndee to be..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"[imitating Borat] my wife?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Why are you trying to ruin this?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm not."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm trying to protect you, as always."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Dang it, Kimmy!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I know what I'm doing!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Jeez, you think I don't notice Brandon's tooth whitening strips"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"or how he's always taking about Ancient Greece"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and how things were different then?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"There was a culture of mentors and students."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Wait, you know? Then why are you..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Because! He's what I've wanted for 15 years."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But this isn't love!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"He just feels sorry for you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Your whole life in Durnsville"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"is just people feeling sorry for you!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But who cares? I'm happy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Don't I deserve to be happy?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- I'm a Mole Woman. - No."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"That is not going to work with me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm a Mole Woman too, but I'm trying to move past it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Are you?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"'Cause I'm actually doing what I said"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I was going to do back in the bunker."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You were going to see the world and get an education"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and a great job."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But you're a 29-year-old babysitter"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"who lives in a basement."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Well, at least I have a boyfriend"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"who isn't fake, Cyndee."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"He's my fake fiancé, Kimmy,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and we're going to live a beautiful fake life together!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Play!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"[orchestral music]"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Well, hello. - Look, dude."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I don't think I actually said the words"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"when you called, but I love you, too."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"So let's get matching tattoos."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's a thing now, and maybe I'm overthinking it,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"but Garfield?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Kimmy, what are you talking about?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Hmm, I don't know."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Maybe when you called me and said you loved me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"[laughs nervously] Uh, no. I... I didn't..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"call you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, I guess I butt-dialed you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Hey, you. What's going on?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Did you get any ammo from those corpses?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Not much."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Where are you right now? - Just sucking on a chill pill."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm in that sub-basement where the missile launcher was."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Cool. You free?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Yeah, man, I killed the prison guard."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Sure, what's up? - We can eat him later."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I want us to get to the next level."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Awesome."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I've only got one life, so it's now or never."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What do you mean next level? Like, relationship-wise?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Okay, cool, look, why don't you draw their fire?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'll steal the antidote from the monkey lab."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Let's go for it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I found these butterscotch’s in my pocket."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"They just appeared!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's a sign!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Come on, I'm totally exposed here."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Don't let me down, dude. - Okay, I'm gonna blow the door."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Oh, the monkeys look mad! - Okay, dude."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
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