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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - Kimmy Kisses a Boy! (S01E01)

"Hey, Red."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You're making me wish I was those jeans."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Well, I wish I was your yellow hat!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- [chuckles] - What?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's my favorite color."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Did I say something wrong?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Okay, uh, I'm sorry about the jeans thing."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You made your point."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And my point is wh..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"That I say these things to women"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"even though I got a mother that I love"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and three beautiful sisters, okay?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Are you happy? - Happy but nervous."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"My friend from Indiana is coming to visit."
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"Why do I talk to women like that?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What are we doing here, guys?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I mean, big picture!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Does the world really need another bank?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"[Bankston] ♪ Unbreakable ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ They alive, damn it ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ It's a miracle ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ Unbreakable ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ They alive, damn it ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ But females are strong as hell ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ Unbreakable ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ They alive, damn it ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ It's a miracle ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ Unbreakable ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ They alive, damn it ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"[speaking] That's gonna be, uh..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"you know, a fascinating transition."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"[singers] ♪ Damn it ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"[smooth jazz music]"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Smooth jazzercise."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Coming at you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Now let's do some sitting."
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"Good morning, Black!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"A construction worker called me Red."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I thought we could have nicknames."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Ooh! Look at you getting hit on by a construction worker."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"[scoffs]"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Meanwhile, I got undercharged at the diner"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"for my morning scrod."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"[high-pitched] Crushing it!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Titus, Cyndee's going to be here in four hours."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What did you promise me?"
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"That I will not ask her any questions"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"about the bunker."
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"Look, I know you think I'm still"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"a little clueless about how the world works,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"but wait until you meet Cyndee."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Down in the bunker, I was her big sister."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I always had to look out for her."
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"Gretchen, Cyndee has been waiting a long time"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"to play with that tennis racket."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And the imaginary ball."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Thank you, Gretchen."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"[whispering] I didn't give it to them."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"There were side tubes?"
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"Sometimes, I feel guilty,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"like I abandoned Cyndee."
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"That's how I feel about my wife back in Missis..."
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"Interesting, Kimmy, go on!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You're the only person who knows our deal,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"so please help me take care of her while she's here."
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"- Okay? - Of course, Kimmy Schmidt."
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"And just in case I overhear any juicy bunker tidbits,"
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"I'll get all my crazy reactions out of my system now."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Ooh!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No, she did not!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Sweet baby Jesus!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Guess who! - I don't like that!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh. Hi, Charles!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Hey. [laughs nervously]"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Did you get my text? - I did."
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"And I texted you back."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's a photo of a man's penis."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I read that people text them to each other."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- It's called a... - Yeah! Oh, yeah."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I know what they're called."
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"Hola, morning, Vera."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Hola, Kimmy. - You want cereal?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"The most important meal of the day."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Let's hear it for breakfast!"
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"Hey. I just sent you a text."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Ooh."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- It's a duck pic. - Wow!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I always knew you were funny,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"but this is another level."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"[laughs]"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Hey, what are you up to later today?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"My friend Cyndee is coming into town."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm going to show her New York."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's too bad, because I was gonna kind of"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"psych myself up to kiss you later."
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"Or you could do that now maybe."
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"Interesting."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Now, huh? Go on."
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"Well, we'd have to stop talking."
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"[Cyndee] Give it to me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Seriously, I don't need help."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Let go, mister! - You leave her alone!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Scram, you stupid honky!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Kimmy, stop. - Cyndee, this is New York."
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"You don't just give your bags to people."
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"He's not people. He's my boyfriend."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh. I'm so sorry."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- I just assumed... - It's okay, Kimmy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- I'm Brandon. - Oh!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"So good to meet you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And I've got more luggage to get."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"This one does not pack light. [laughs]"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I don't know why I brought so much pancake mix."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Is that your car? - Mm-hmm."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- And is that Brandon Yeagley? - You remember him?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Do I remember your middle school crush?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I only had to pretend to be him, like, a bazillion times."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
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