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Clips from Modern Family (2009) - Crazy Train (S07E07)

"You mind if I sit here?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Uh, no. (chuckles)"
Modern Family (2009)
"You have a beautiful smile."
Modern Family (2009)
"Thanks. (chuckles)"
Modern Family (2009)
"They make fun of you for wearing your headgear,"
Modern Family (2009)
"but, hey, look at me now."
Modern Family (2009)
"(both laugh)"
Modern Family (2009)
"Tickets? Oh, yeah."
Modern Family (2009)
"Uh, honey, do you have my ticket? No."
Modern Family (2009)
"I'm pretty sure I gave you my ticket, babe."
Modern Family (2009)
"Sorry, babe. Back to coach."
Modern Family (2009)
"I forgive you. (chuckles)"
Modern Family (2009)
"Come find me."
Modern Family (2009)
"(door opens) (Gloria shouting in Spanish)"
Modern Family (2009)
""Mom has always been a free spirit.""
Modern Family (2009)
""She has also helped to free a lot of spirits from bottles"
Modern Family (2009)
"'cause the woman's a boozehound!" Hello!"
Modern Family (2009)
"Yeah, I'm not gonna put that in."
Modern Family (2009)
"Uh, how about this one? "The secret to her"
Modern Family (2009)
"chocolate-chip cookies was a dash of salt --""
Modern Family (2009)
""And two scoops of crazy because the lady's imbalanced.""
Modern Family (2009)
"Hello!"
Modern Family (2009)
"Claire, this is toast, not a roast."
Modern Family (2009)
"Are you uncomfortable because, for the first time in your life,"
Modern Family (2009)
"you have to be the straight man? Hello!"
Modern Family (2009)
"Saying "hello" doesn't make mean things funny."
Modern Family (2009)
"I like it. Well, you don't get to decide."
Modern Family (2009)
"How come you get to decide?"
Modern Family (2009)
"'Cause Mom asked me and not you."
Modern Family (2009)
"I included you because I felt bad."
Modern Family (2009)
"(sighs)"
Modern Family (2009)
"That's fine. I don't care."
Modern Family (2009)
"You can do it yourself."
Modern Family (2009)
"I don't care. Claire."
Modern Family (2009)
"Wait."
Modern Family (2009)
"(stammers) Nope."
Modern Family (2009)
"This is a $20."
Modern Family (2009)
"When my wife shows up later, "iced tea" means Scotch."
Modern Family (2009)
"Grandpa, do you think it's weird"
Modern Family (2009)
"Nana invited you to her wedding?"
Modern Family (2009)
"I think it's the least-weird thing Dede's ever done."
Modern Family (2009)
"Well, if she was so bad, why'd you ever marry her?"
Modern Family (2009)
"We were young."
Modern Family (2009)
"She was cute, but the constant nuttiness of Dede"
Modern Family (2009)
"wore me down, robbed me of my will to live."
Modern Family (2009)
"One day, she pushed me off the edge."
Modern Family (2009)
"I ran out of the house."
Modern Family (2009)
"They found me shirtless in the local fire station."
Modern Family (2009)
"Excuse me."
Modern Family (2009)
"This, uh, Dede that you're speaking of --"
Modern Family (2009)
"um, is that Dede Pritchett, by chance?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Do you know her?"
Modern Family (2009)
"She's marrying my father."
Modern Family (2009)
"You're kidding."
Modern Family (2009)
"No. We're traveling to the wedding right now..."
Modern Family (2009)
"if there is one."
Modern Family (2009)
"I've got to call Dad."
Modern Family (2009)
"I told you that woman was off. Just ridiculous."
Modern Family (2009)
"I'm gonna need $18 back."
Modern Family (2009)
"Uh, excuse me. Uh, hi, Mr. Hastings."
Modern Family (2009)
"Um, do you know -- have they developed a cure yet?"
Modern Family (2009)
"For what?"
Modern Family (2009)
"A blown mind -- because we have two of them. (chuckles)"
Modern Family (2009)
"You're too kind. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you."
Modern Family (2009)
"We are just dying to know how the conductor got"
Modern Family (2009)
"all the way from the front to the back, kill the ambassador,"
Modern Family (2009)
"and not be seen?"
Modern Family (2009)
"There's an escape hatch in the control room."
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh."
Modern Family (2009)
"He climbs up, crawls his way across"
Modern Family (2009)
"the top of the train to the caboose."
Modern Family (2009)
"There, his feet firmly planted, thanks to magnetic shoes,"
Modern Family (2009)
"he hangs down, shoots the ambassador,"
Modern Family (2009)
"then crawls back the way he came."
Modern Family (2009)
"That is so ingenious."
Modern Family (2009)
"How does he avoid the video cameras? Yeah."
Modern Family (2009)
"I beg your pardon. On top of the train."
Modern Family (2009)
"He's on a train that doesn't have any cameras."
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh, no, they all have cameras now -- Big Brother."
Modern Family (2009)
"I just read an article about it in Rail World,"
Modern Family (2009)
"the magazine in your seat pocket --"
Modern Family (2009)
"also a great interview with amateur conductor"
Modern Family (2009)
"Valerie Bertinelli."
Modern Family (2009)
"Well, if that's true, then the murder isn't possible."
Modern Family (2009)
"And if the ambassador is still alive,"
Modern Family (2009)
"then there's no reason for Silverton to be in Nigeria."
Modern Family (2009)
"And if that's the case, he's not at the coup,"
Modern Family (2009)
"which means the whole thing doesn't work."
Modern Family (2009)
"Dear God, I have no book."
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh."
Modern Family (2009)
"I have no book!"
Modern Family (2009)
"Now I wish I hadn't circled the typos."
Modern Family (2009)
"What are you still doing here? Go find him."
Modern Family (2009)
"(sighs) I don't know."
Modern Family (2009)
"Come on, it's a better love story"
Modern Family (2009)
"than the one you're reading."
Modern Family (2009)
"You're the beautiful, high-class, smart girl,"
Modern Family (2009)
"and he's the poor boy duct-taping his shoes"
Modern Family (2009)
"with a bunch of hobos in coach."
Modern Family (2009)
"It's a $20 difference."
Modern Family (2009)
"Alex, you got this."
Modern Family (2009)
"Trains make guys crazy."
Modern Family (2009)
"When were you ever on a train?"
Modern Family (2009)
"In Vegas,"
Modern Family (2009)
"between my plane and the luggage area."
Modern Family (2009)
"Stuff went down. Fine. I'll go for it."
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh, wait."
Modern Family (2009)
"Nope."
Modern Family (2009)
"Manny likes hats, doesn't he?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Ooh, someone's still got a crush."
Modern Family (2009)
"I'm not proud of it."
Modern Family (2009)
"I tried to get past it."
Modern Family (2009)
"But, you know, trains."
Modern Family (2009)
"Well, I think you look cute, and I bet he would, too."
Modern Family (2009)
"Hey, you pervs."
Modern Family (2009)
"Let me guess -- shoulders tired from striking out so hard?"
Modern Family (2009)
"It's still early."
Modern Family (2009)
"Ooh, I see a dime piece over there."
Modern Family (2009)
"That means she's a 10."
Modern Family (2009)
"Yeah. I speak d-bag."
Modern Family (2009)
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