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Clips from BoJack Horseman - That's Too Much, Man! (S03E03)

"We just need to find a way to get more people to check us out."
BoJack Horseman
"-Oh, what about Sarah Lynn? -Ooh, that's genius!"
BoJack Horseman
"Sarah Lynn? I don't know. I haven't spoken to her in years."
BoJack Horseman
"She's the world's biggest pop star."
BoJack Horseman
"because how could anyone else?"
BoJack Horseman
"They think you're gonna save their agency."
BoJack Horseman
"but, right now, I don't need to figure out anything."
BoJack Horseman
"I just feel it. I love you, Sarah Lynn."
BoJack Horseman
"-[siren blaring in distance] -Sarah Lynn?"
BoJack Horseman
"-Sarah Lynn? -What?"
BoJack Horseman
"[sighs] What's on TV?"
BoJack Horseman
"from The Nazi Who Played Yahtzee by Sarah Lynn."
BoJack Horseman
"And if you're watching this, Sarah Lynn,"
BoJack Horseman
"[exhales sharply]"
BoJack Horseman
"When I was a kid, if you'd told me I'd win an Oscar,"
BoJack Horseman
"I'd never have believed it."
BoJack Horseman
"And, now, I've done it and..."
BoJack Horseman
"BoJack... I don't..."
BoJack Horseman
"is because some company paid me $8,000 to wear it."
BoJack Horseman
"And I don't even need the money."
BoJack Horseman
"Hey, hey, hey, it's okay. Everything's gonna be okay."
BoJack Horseman
"Am I doomed? Are you doomed? Are we all doomed?"
BoJack Horseman
"No, no! Calm down. Nobody is doomed."
BoJack Horseman
"It's a giant dome. Domes are so cool."
BoJack Horseman
"In the great grand scheme of things, we're just tiny specks"
BoJack Horseman
"The only thing that matters is right now, this moment,"
BoJack Horseman
"Right, Sarah Lynn?"
BoJack Horseman
"♪ BoJack the Horseman Don't act like you don't know ♪"
BoJack Horseman
"♪ That I'm more horse than a man ♪"
BoJack Horseman
"[harp playing]"
BoJack Horseman
"Good morning, morning."
BoJack Horseman
"[humming]"
BoJack Horseman
"Good morning, sun. Good morning, trees."
BoJack Horseman
"The tulips and chrysanthemums are really coming in."
BoJack Horseman
"I like the way you plant my plants."
BoJack Horseman
"Goddamn it! Why won't you--? [groans]"
BoJack Horseman
"It's okay."
BoJack Horseman
"Sarah Lynn, you are calm, you are thin."
BoJack Horseman
"Your skin is so soft, it's like you murdered a baby and stole its skin."
BoJack Horseman
"Your skin is "murdered-baby" soft."
BoJack Horseman
"Okay."
BoJack Horseman
"chia, shark fin, and... white rhino horn."
BoJack Horseman
"-BoJack? -Hey, Sarah Lynn."
BoJack Horseman
"[grunting]"
BoJack Horseman
"Okay, hand me the açai."
BoJack Horseman
"Oh, hey, bummer about you getting the nomination,"
BoJack Horseman
"but then, it turning out that you didn't get the nomination."
BoJack Horseman
"It was big news yesterday."
BoJack Horseman
"No one, because everyone's an asshole and the whole world sucks balls."
BoJack Horseman
"-Anyway, thanks for having me over. -I'm with you, man."
BoJack Horseman
"What do you say we go on an epic bender?"
BoJack Horseman
"We can clear out my bank account. I got nothing left I care about."
BoJack Horseman
"-Here. -Yogurt-covered raisins?"
BoJack Horseman
"-Nope. Vicodin-covered Vicodin. -Oh!"
BoJack Horseman
"-LSD. -Wow."
BoJack Horseman
"Cocaine-- No! That's drywall."
BoJack Horseman
"Ugh! Where the hell did I hide the cocaine?"
BoJack Horseman
"To life and being done with it!"
BoJack Horseman
"Remember when Erika Eleniak"
BoJack Horseman
"and Brad had a boner for the whole episode?"
BoJack Horseman
"-What? No. -You can totally see it in every scene."
BoJack Horseman
"Commercial break-- "Hello, we're from the Wheaties corporation!" Back to boners!"
BoJack Horseman
"Okay, we'll put it on the list. We gotta watch that one."
BoJack Horseman
"and the whole episode was fat jokes, so then Joelle got an eating disorder?"
BoJack Horseman
"Everything was so much simpler back then."
BoJack Horseman
"She had to go to a clinic. She missed, like, five episodes."
BoJack Horseman
"We got to come to work and have fun every day,"
BoJack Horseman
"Wait, what were we talking about?"
BoJack Horseman
"Then, you had to go pee."
BoJack Horseman
"Then, you came back covered in toilet paper"
BoJack Horseman
"and pretended to be a mummy."
BoJack Horseman
"Then, you took it all off because you decided Egypt was stupid,"
BoJack Horseman
"especially pyramids,"
BoJack Horseman
"because you think triangle buildings are, and I quote, "gauche as shit.""
BoJack Horseman
"I must have blacked out. Maybe I should lay off the alcohol for--"
BoJack Horseman
"...and I said, "You're sitting on the pizza, Mr. President.""
BoJack Horseman
"No, blackout. The thing we were just talking about."
BoJack Horseman
"Well, I think we all learned a valuable lesson today"
BoJack Horseman
"about the Armenian genocide."
BoJack Horseman
"The Armenian genocide was too much, man!"
BoJack Horseman
"All right! Next episode."
BoJack Horseman
"Why can't life be like it was on Horsin' Around?"
BoJack Horseman
"All our issues conveniently settled in 22 hilarious minutes."
BoJack Horseman
"You know, it's amazing that it's legal for kids to be actors."
BoJack Horseman
"How is that not child labor? I didn't know what I was signing up for."
BoJack Horseman
"-I was three. -This is getting me depressed."
BoJack Horseman
"-Let's do something fun. -Oh! Okay, you know what really kicks ass?"
BoJack Horseman
"The planetarium!"
BoJack Horseman
"You get crazy high in the parking lot,"
BoJack Horseman
"Jesus, we have to start marking our drugs more clearly."
BoJack Horseman
"-[male voice] It was just so hard. -Wha--? What the--?"
BoJack Horseman
"I was stuck in a terrifying cycle of drinking, lifting my head up,"
BoJack Horseman
"drinking, lifting my head up, drinking, lifting my head up."
BoJack Horseman
"Coffee, stale donuts, attention hogs telling boring stories about themselves?"
BoJack Horseman
"-Jesus! Are we at a 12-step meeting? -Now, you're a detective?"
BoJack Horseman
"So, all our partying was an elaborate trick"
BoJack Horseman
"just to get me to go sober?"
BoJack Horseman
"and I had to come today."
BoJack Horseman
"Gotta get my nine-month chip."
BoJack Horseman
"Chip? We've been wasted for... 31 hours?"
BoJack Horseman
"That's no reason for me to not get my chip."
BoJack Horseman
"That's literally exactly the reason you shouldn't get your chip."
BoJack Horseman
"That's not actually one of the steps. Loophole."
BoJack Horseman
"If you have to listen to losers talk about their shitty sober lives,"
BoJack Horseman
"it's a lot more fun to be buzzed."
BoJack Horseman
"And I realized people don't change because they want to change."
BoJack Horseman
"They change because they have to change."
BoJack Horseman
"[all] Hi, Simon."
BoJack Horseman
"Come on! You people call yourself drunks?"
BoJack Horseman
"Most of this is stuff I do on a daily basis completely sober."
BoJack Horseman
"You so-called drunks want something to feel shitty about?"
BoJack Horseman
"[all] Hi, BoJack."
BoJack Horseman
"and she had a young daughter, Penny."
BoJack Horseman
"And first, I tried to sleep with the mom, but she said no."
BoJack Horseman
"Then, the mom walked in on me trying to sleep with the daughter,"
BoJack Horseman
"and I was like, "Oopsie-doopsie! Exit stage right!""
BoJack Horseman
"Oh, God."
BoJack Horseman
"Did I ruin the family? Did I scar that little girl for life?"
BoJack Horseman
"And that's just, like, one of a billion things"
BoJack Horseman
"that I have going through my head all the time."
BoJack Horseman
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