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Clips from The Simpsons - Judge Me Tender (S21E21)

"Hello, boy. Why, you...!"
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"I think I've come up with the answer."
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"but your mother said kids might tease you."
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"Mmm! It's a great time to be a tiger."
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"so naturally we selected those for further breeding."
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"Choke on yourselves."
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"At least I'd get a chair."
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"And now, owned by one of the ugliest families"
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"No, no, no, I don't need your fair-weather friendship..."
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"But crazy beards?"
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"You got the gift, baby! Come on, Moe."
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"You're home early!"
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"Still wanna be at Moe's?"
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"She's right, Homer. You're happier there."
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"but I am a judge of judging."
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"your hilarious hate with everyone!"
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"Well, I don't need much help,"
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"This is terrible!"
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"Listen, Moe, reality shows are looking for judges,"
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"we thought we would never find:"
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"Who Wants to be a Welder? Poodle Versus Elephant..."
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"Leg Swap, Old People Try to Figure Out Computers,"
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"Right, yeah, with those guys."
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"except for American Idol."
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"Now that I have all this free time,"
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"Oh-oh, what kind of ventilating is that?"
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"But you've got so much going for you."
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"And when you wag your tail, it really lights up a room."
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"Oh, those guys are all crooks."
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"You look as puffed up as a peacock in a..."
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"Golf it is."
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"over the past few days I've grown rather fond of you."
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"That's not my home number."
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"But there's a cost."
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"with interviews of people you've judged."
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""Happy" was very cool, right?"
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"If you think that answer was a yes,"
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"from last week, when your version of "Brown Sugar""
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"Although Ive that song "Ramblin' Man" by The Allman Brothers."
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"Mr. Cowellwould you likee band candy?"
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"Really. Thank you."
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"which fell as flat as the hair on my head."
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"Label to camera. Label to camera."
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"and I can no longer make judgments about nothin'."
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"Never mind me-- put on The Jay Leno Show."
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"D'oh!"
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"That is disgusting!"
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"Hang on. Here's a spot that still looks good."
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"So, do we have a winner?"
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"Hmm..."
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"Not ugly enough."
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"I want something that looks like this..."
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"Ay, caramba!"
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"...had a baby with this,"
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"and it got sat on by this."
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"Oh... my... God!"
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"You never fail to nauseate me, boy."
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"Just call me "Barf Simpson.""
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"I wanted to,"
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"Dad, do you realize"
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"we've put more time into this"
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"than all my schoolwork combined?"
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"But if we win this, we get a gift certificate."
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"For what?"
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"It doesn't matter."
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"How ya doin'?"
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"I need a diaper for my chimp"
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"that won't upset my tiger's stomach"
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"if he eats the chimp."
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"Fear not. Our chimp diapers have"
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"Mr. Flanders, how did you make"
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"these amazing fish?"
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"Actually, God made some fish"
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"that were pretty close to these,"
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"So that natural selection was the origin of this species?"
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"Yup, that's exactly..."
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"Whoa-oa-oa!"
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"You almost got me."
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"Not on my watch!"
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"This seat taken?"
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"Uh, yes, I'm saving it for..."
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"this soy sauce packet."
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"Aw, man, you know you're a loser"
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"when they don't even work hard on the excus"
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"I'll just sit here, then."
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"Thanks a lot, everyone."
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"Ah, here we go."
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"Oh, no, you don't."
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"Whoa, that one's so ugly,"
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"it reminds me of my ex-wife! Hah!"
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"That one reminds me of her lawyer."
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"Congress..."
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"elderly drivers..."
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"commercials..."
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"Bella Abzug..."
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"Hey, clown, we've heard your stand-up!"
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"Now how about some shut-up!"
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"Everybody's a comedian."
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"Except you!"
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"Well, why don't you come up here and try to entertain 'em?"
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"Do it, Moe! Come on, Moe!"
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"Entertain us!"
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"Well, I guess I could. Uh..."
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"Check it out."
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"Two train wrecks connected"
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"by a strip of leather."
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"I don't wanna say it's ugly,"
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"but PETA called and said we should kill this one."
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"in Springfield..."
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"Satan's Little Helper!"
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"Oh! Whoa!"
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"Even the Koreans wouldn't touch this dog!"
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"We have a winner!"
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"Oh..."
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"Ooh, everyone's coming over to congratulate us!"
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"Humble faces, kids!"
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"Humbler!"
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"Lisa, too humble."
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"Hmm?!"
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"You're hilarious!"
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