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Clips from Scrubs - My Cookie Pants (S08E08)

"first thing in the morning."
Scrubs
"Well, if that's the case, Fred, just put him on blood thinners."
Scrubs
"Excuse me, Perry. You don't have a phone."
Scrubs
"You must love not having anybody around to make you toe the line."
Scrubs
"It's pretty much a captain-less ship around here."
Scrubs
"- All right. Let me just touch his heart. - Hey!"
Scrubs
"at a depressing coffee chain, surrounded by..."
Scrubs
"I don't mean to cut you off, Perry. But I have to take this call."
Scrubs
"to be more sensitive with her patients."
Scrubs
"I was only surprised because you're the first one I've come across"
Scrubs
"Did you know that guy was a priest?"
Scrubs
"I did. I'll see you tomorrow."
Scrubs
"I finally had something to get home to."
Scrubs
"I baked a dozen for you and a dozen for me."
Scrubs
"Now, I like to eat one and a half cookies every day"
Scrubs
"Notice the loose waist to accommodate an expanding stomach."
Scrubs
"Plus he has a key to my place and Carla's out of town."
Scrubs
"Elliot, with his diabetes,"
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"it's the only time he gets to eat sweets."
Scrubs
"Yeah, but you knew what you were getting into."
Scrubs
"J.D., someone's in the house."
Scrubs
"I'm no Superman"
Scrubs
"Morning, sleepy."
Scrubs
"We're just gonna go with the flow."
Scrubs
"J. D? Why are you throwing your pants at me?"
Scrubs
"Because I got excited. Woohoo!"
Scrubs
"Well, you should be."
Scrubs
"- I really wish I hadn't done that. - Yeah, me, too."
Scrubs
"Unfortunately, Jo was his intern."
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"- Hi. - How's it going over here?"
Scrubs
"Well, young Dr. Mahoney was just observing that my heart disease was..."
Scrubs
"big old pancake breakfast, then bang."
Scrubs
"Well, I'm sure Mr. Lawton feels horrible that his condition annoyed you."
Scrubs
"- Yeah, we're cool. - Apparently, you guys are cool."
Scrubs
"That when I ask our nanny"
Scrubs
"You don't get in your own way anymore."
Scrubs
"that it's literally filling me up with rage and hatred, so I should go."
Scrubs
"- Fair enough. All right. - Okay."
Scrubs
"Say, I heard you and Barbie were back together again. How's that going?"
Scrubs
"J.D.: He doesn't care. Don't answer."
Scrubs
"Hold firm."
Scrubs
"Give him nothing."
Scrubs
"Maybe you are a little bit older and a little bit wiser,"
Scrubs
"- I really think I am... - Oh, my God."
Scrubs
"How do you not get that I will never, ever care"
Scrubs
"about your pasty, white love life?"
Scrubs
"I only brought it up because I noticed"
Scrubs
"that you'd killed her and buried her deep in a wooded area,"
Scrubs
"for the aforementioned crime of pasty, white passion."
Scrubs
"Well, no such luck. She's just at home."
Scrubs
"and now I'm totally losing it."
Scrubs
"I've been trying on lingerie, but nothing fits"
Scrubs
"You're gonna say that you've always come through"
Scrubs
"- You and me both. - That was an insult."
Scrubs
"it would drive you insane and you'd go away."
Scrubs
"Because of the abdominal discomfort,"
Scrubs
"until you learn what it means to truly care for your patients."
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"you're gonna be out on your ass. All right?"
Scrubs
"Bob, what are you doing up here? Are you sick?"
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"I'm not concerned. I meant to sound hopeful."
Scrubs
"Let me try it again. Are you sick?"
Scrubs
"the Board offered you the Chief of Medicine."
Scrubs
"The minute I took that job, everything got bigger."
Scrubs
"My office, my staff, my secretary's hooters."
Scrubs
"Still, I took the job to improve patient care,"
Scrubs
"Everybody in the hospital hates you. Yay! Anyway, Chief, congrats again."
Scrubs
"Hey, with Carla and Izzy out of town,"
Scrubs
"must be nice to have the place to yourself for once, huh?"
Scrubs
"- Elliot, are you sick? - No, I just don't have makeup on."
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"- Turk, I need some help with J.D. - Okay."
Scrubs
"Dr. Reid, when did you become homeless?"
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"- These are just my cookie pants. - These are my muffin slacks."
Scrubs
"J.D.: I knew exactly what to say, but the longer I waited,"
Scrubs
"the more I knew it would make her squirm."
Scrubs
"See, there's a lot of things that can leave someone speechless."
Scrubs
"J.D.: It can be an answer you don't expect."
Scrubs
"Great call ordering that endoscopy, Dr. Mahoney."
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"Mr. Lawton has stomach cancer."
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"J.D.: Yep. Speechless."
Scrubs
"I thought you were being callous with Mr. Lawton,"
Scrubs
"and you were just being thorough."
Scrubs
"Why would you apologize? What the hell is your problem?"
Scrubs
""another angry woman storms in.""
Scrubs
"That one's for you, Pop-Pop."
Scrubs
"He's not dead. He's upstairs. Dying."
Scrubs
"See, that is the kind of passion that I want tonight with J.D.,"
Scrubs
"but if he loses too much oxygen he'll get dizzy,"
Scrubs
"and then his Space Needle will become his space noodle."
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"- How do you even know that? - Elliot, I just do."
Scrubs
"Angry woman in."
Scrubs
"No, ma'am."
Scrubs
"Angry woman out."
Scrubs
"Okay, I really don't need this right now."
Scrubs
"But I make one lucky call with Mr. Lawton's endoscopy"
Scrubs
"Thank you, doctor."
Scrubs
"You said it was a bureaucratic nightmare."
Scrubs
"Didn't you hear me? Are fraidy-cat's ears too tiny?"
Scrubs
"Do you know why I got into medicine?"
Scrubs
"I assumed there was some sort of flyer outside football practice."
Scrubs
"Yeah, but that caring thing has a major upside."
Scrubs
"Remember last Monday?"
Scrubs
"Sometimes I still think about him and that is not a good thing."
Scrubs
"What?"
Scrubs
"So, now we know what my deal is. How you gonna fix it?"
Scrubs
"You're a doctor."
Scrubs
"how to do an appendectomy."
Scrubs
"Please. You just cut it out and sew him up."
Scrubs
"She's right, actually. Finish up."
Scrubs
"Look, Carla always says that making love with you is perfect."
Scrubs
"- Yeah, she did. - Tell me what makes it so special."
Scrubs
"- Thank you for sharing. - That's okay, T-Dog,"
Scrubs
"if it doesn't hurt, you're not doing it right."
Scrubs
"If you want things to be different with J.D. This time around,"
Scrubs
"That's not right."
Scrubs
"So this is what fear feels like, huh?"
Scrubs
"Why in the hell did you try to talk me out of it?"
Scrubs
"You don't really think we're becoming friends, do you?"
Scrubs
"Good Lord. I hope not."
Scrubs
"Oh, good. You're done with your quiet time."
Scrubs
"a bit of a breakdown about his cancer."
Scrubs
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