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Clips from The Simpsons - A Milhouse Divided (S08E08)

"## [Chorus Singing]"
The Simpsons
"D'oh! [Screams]"
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"[Chomping]"
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"- Lisa, how was school? - How was what? What?"
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"I know it's not time- [Groans]"
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"[Marge] Hello, Marge. How's the family? I don't want to talk about it!"
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"Homer, is this the way you pictured married life?"
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"Well, maybe we could use it once and then return it."
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"Bart, company's coming."
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"- Ohh! - Homer!"
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"- [Homer] What? - Are you ready?"
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"Just gotta put my shoes on."
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"Well, as you can see, we don't believe fur is murder..."
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"[All Laughing]"
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"Yeah, Marge. I know I haven't eaten that well since I was in the army."
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"You want to talk? Go ahead, Luann, talk."
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"Why don't you tell them one of your little bedtime stories, huh?"
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"I love having to steal clothes from the church donation box."
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"You got the kid singing! I hope you're happy now!"
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"- I want a divorce! - [All Gasping]"
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"l- l- A... divorce?"
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"Come on, Milhouse. We are going."
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"- Oh, can't I come home later? - There's not going to be a home later."
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"Good night. Thanks for coming. We'll see you. Bye-bye."
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"What?"
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"Marge, please. That was 20 minutes ago."
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"I shouldn't have served those North Korean fortune cookies."
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"You know who the real victim is in all this- Milhouse."
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"That's Jerry. He's a major player down at the sewing store."
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"I don't recall saying "good luck.""
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"During the week, I'm just your average workaday stuntman."
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"- Wow! Thanks. - Okay, boys, I gotta go. Come on, Lulu. Let's roll."
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"- [Marge] Homer, get ready! - For what?"
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"- Okay. Love ya! - [Door Slams Shut]"
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"Starla's a temp at KZUG, radio 530."
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"Oh, my demo tape!"
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"'Cause I took my marriage for granted."
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"- I could have at least stayed in shape for her. - Oh, and for yourself."
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"the next day, you're thawing a hot dog in a gas station sink."
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"Are you okay? I don't smell dinner."
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""Dear Homer." Ahh."
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""Sorry you didn't want to join me tonight. I left you hot dogs for dinner."
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"And I think your mom might not be happy with me."
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"- You mean, like your poker shack out in the swamp? - Mm-hmm."
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"- She knows. - Oh, I knew this would happen."
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"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God and this casino tojoin-"
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"- Marge. - in holy matrimony."
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"You may kiss the bride."
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"[Marge Sighs]"
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"It's getting less and less likely..."
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"and I bought tickets to their entire season."
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"Homie, I appreciate this."
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"Oh, of course, my sweet. I'll just make some soothing ocean sounds for you."
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"[Screams] Homer, what are you doing?"
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"I'd like to file for... divorce."
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"I'm going to make you my specialty- butterscotch chicken."
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"Ooh."
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"This one is for real. I want our marriage to be perfect right from the start..."
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""in impotence and in potence, in quiet solitude..."
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"You've even got a hip rock-and-roll combo."
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"Okay, everybody, who likes The Doobie Brothers? 'Cause we got one of them."
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"- Sure. - Yeah. - That's why we're here."
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"- [Murmuring] - Shh!"
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"-"
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"[Tires Screeching]"
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"[Squeaking]"
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"Marge, can't we get some clear plates? I can't see the TV!"
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"Is it really necessary to watch TV while we're eating?"
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"We're getting food all over."
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"If you really wanted us to be neater, you'd serve us out of one long bowl."
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"You're talking about a trough. We're not going to eat from a trough."
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"And another thing. It's only 5:15."
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"- Why are you in your underwear? - Hey, this ain't the Ritz."
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"[Groans] At least let's have a civilized conversation, shall we?"
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"I'm going into the dining room to have a conversation."
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"Anyone who wants to join me is welcome."
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"Yeah, pretty much, except we drove around in a van solving mysteries."
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"Well, I pictured cocktail parties and candlelit dinners. I pictured napkins."
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"Homer, I want to throw a dinner party."
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"Oh, I hate having parties. The toilet always gets backed up."
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"I don't care if the sink shoots sludge. We're having a party."
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"Man, that is flagrant false advertising!"
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"[Gasps] It's just not a dinner party without a melon baller."
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"And we'll need a citrus zester, a ravioli crimper."
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"[Groans] No, thank you."
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"Oh, we can't afford that. Who do you think I am, Liz Taylor?"
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"- Go put doilies under the coasters. Hurry! Hurry! - [Dings]"
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"Lisa, quick! Screw these back on."
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"Mom, calm down. The party's not for another three hours."
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"Oh, good. That will give me time to add another coat of glaze to the ham."
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"[Groans]"
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"The only thing I asked you to do for this party was put on clothes..."
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"- and you didn't do it. - [Doorbell Rings]"
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"Bart, greet our guests and take their coats."
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"Mom, Reverend Lovejoy doesn't have a coat. Should I let him in?"
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"My coat was stolen at last week's interfaith banquet."
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"So I helped myself to a few of the better umbrellas."
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"- but paying for it sure is. - [Laughing]"
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"Uh, sorry we're late. But Luann had to put on her face."
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"She doesn't want anyone to know she's got no eyebrows. What? You don't."
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"Did anyone see that new Woodsy Allen movie?"
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"If you want to talk nervous, you should have seen Kirk deal with the high school boys..."
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"- who egged our Bonneville. - Ha! Should have asked them to hurl some bacon."
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"Then maybe I could have had a decent breakfast for once."
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"You know what you two need? A little comic strip called Love Is."
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"It's about two naked eight-year-olds who are married."
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"Mmm! Well, Marge, if that was my last meal..."
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"- I'd tell the warden, "Bring on the lethal injection!" - [Laughing]"
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"- Oh! Cornstarch! - Oh, rightio!"
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"It's good for keeping down the urges."
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"Oh, come on, Luann. You know what this is."
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"Kirk, I don't know what it is."
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"Do you want me to show this to the cat and have the cat tell you what it is?"
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"- 'Cause the cat's gonna get it. - I'm sorry. I'm not as smart as you, Kirk."
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"We didn't all go to Gudger College."
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"- Oh, cram it, Churchie! - Maybe we should all have a few drinks."
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"Like the one about how rotten it is to be married to a loser."
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"- Ooh! Here we go! - sent the number one cracker factory in town..."
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"[Kirk] You want to hear a secret, everybody?"
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"Luann loves it! Loves it when I fail!"
The Simpsons
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