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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Skank Reflex Analysis (S05E05)

"You're dating my sister,"
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"and Penny and I are in love."
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"Gentlemen, if I may interject,"
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"I've decided my rank will be captain."
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"If it's good enough for Kirk, Crunch and Kangaroo,"
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"it's good enough for me."
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"You're not in love with Penny."
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"Yes, I am."
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"The god Kamadeva has shot us with his flowery arrows of love."
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"Who?"
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"but way better, because he rides a giant parrot."
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"Raj, come on. You fall in love with any girl who smiles at you."
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"A month ago, you were writing poems about his fiancée."
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"Rubbish. He's talking rubbish."
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""Oh, Bernadette, please play my clarinet.""
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"That could have been about anyone."
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"Besides, you have nothing to worry about,"
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"because now I'm the dusky half of Koothrapenny."
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"For the record, I do have genitals."
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"They're functional and aesthetically pleasing."
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"(groans)"
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"Well."
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"Oh. Coming."
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"Yup, that's good."
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"Wine glasses should have handles."
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"when you've had a few."
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"You heard what I did?"
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"Well, I heard who you did."
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"(grunts)"
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"Oh, my God,"
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"I screwed up everything."
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"I hurt Leonard."
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"I hurt Raj."
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"I mean, what is wrong with me?"
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"I feel like two totally different people--"
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"Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Whore."
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"Don't be so hard on yourself."
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"Do you know the story of Catherine the Great?"
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"She ruled Russia"
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"when she was feeling particularly randy,"
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"she used an intricate system of pulleys"
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"and people still call her "Great.""
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"I'm sure your reputation can survive"
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"(knocking)"
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"(sighs)"
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"You jerk face!"
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"What did you tell Howard?!"
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"Did you say there was something going on between us?"
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"Because he thinks there is!"
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"He's completely freaking out!"
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"- What the hell is wrong with you?! - Well..."
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"You were always so nice to me, I thought maybe you liked me."
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"I'm nice to everyone!"
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"I'm sorry."
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"And you tell Howard there's never been anything between us!"
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"Do you think I have a shot with Penny?"
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"Of course you do. You're a cutie pie!"
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"Any girl would be lucky to have you!"
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"You know, I've done this before."
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"In kindergarten,"
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"I was supposed to marry Jason Sorensen at recess,"
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"he was already engaged to Chelsea Himmelfarb."
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"So what did I do?"
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"Hung upside down from the monkey bars,"
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"let all the boys see my underpants."
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"You can't blame yourself."
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"When your prefrontal cortex fails to make you happy,"
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"promiscuity rewards you with the needed flood of dopamine."
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"We neurobiologists refer to this as the "skank reflex.""
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"Let's get out of here."
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"Where are we going?"
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"Somewhere where no one's seen me naked."
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"We may have to drive awhile."
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"(clears throat)"
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"Subtlety isn't her strong suit, is it?"
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"Can I stay at your place for a few nights?"
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"Really?"
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"A best friend sleepover? Yay."
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"Yeah, sure. Yay!"
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"We'll make popcorn, stay up all night"
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"and I'll teach you my secret language, Op."
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"- Sounds great. - Nope."
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"Sounds "Gop Rop E A Top.""
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"- Yeah, I'm gonna go pack a bag. - No, you're not."
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"You're gonna "Pop A Cop Kop A Bop A Gop.""
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"Do we really have to wear this camouflage crap"
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"Who said that?"
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"Leonard, I can hear your voice,"
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"I'm not in the mood, Sheldon."
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"I know you're upset about recent events, and"
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"I have someone here to help."
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"I don't want to talk to Amy."
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"No, it's not Amy."
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"You called my mother?"
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"Oh, Leonard,"
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"is it really necessary to caption the obvious?"
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"He's been like that since he was a toddler."
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""Look, Mommy-- a butterfly.""
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"Maddening."
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"What's going on? What do you want?"
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"Sheldon informed me"
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"that you're experiencing an emotional upheaval,"
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"and I'm here to help."
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"That's so nice."
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"And we're back to the obvious."
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"Now, what's up?"
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"Um..."
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"I don't want to get back together with Penny."
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"We tried it, it was crazy, it didn't work,"
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"but I can't deal with the fact"
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"that she slept with my friend Raj."
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"And then I find out that Raj's sister Priya,"
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"who I've been going out with for eight months,"
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"is moving back to India."
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"So I'm just completely confused and alone."
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"I understand."
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"Got any advice?"
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"Yes. Buck up."
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"Excuse me."
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"You're a world-renowned expert"
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