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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Skank Reflex Analysis (S05E05)

"My brother-- he's got a big crush on Bernadette."
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"But..."
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"since that's what it looked like,"
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"our thinking cap, shall we?"
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"Third World hygiene."
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"They slept together, Sherlock."
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"♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪"
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"with a woman you used to love"
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"but I'm going to disregard it,"
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"Now, it goes without saying"
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"I don't see me as some four-star general,"
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"back at HQ riding a desk"
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"Hey, if I wasn't engaged to Bernadette,"
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"BOTH: What?!"
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"I'm sorry. What?!"
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"(knocking)"
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"Keeping accurate track of your alcohol intake."
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"Smart idea considering how trampy you get"
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"in the late 1700s, and one night,"
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"to have intimate relations with a horse."
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"I'm... I'm sorry."
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"What does this have to do with me?"
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"She engaged in interspecies hanky-panky,"
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"Please, come in."
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"- I will. Hey, Bernadette? - What?!"
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"but by the time my class got out there,"
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"You know what?"
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"to play paintball?"
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"but I can't see you."
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"Oh, there you are!"
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"Leonard,"
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"Well, uh... okay."
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"(knock on door)"
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"You know, friends."
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"So, we didn't actually..."
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"No."
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"Cool."
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"All right... friend."
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"You can't quit."
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"I haven't earned these bars."
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"apparently I more than make up for in sewing."
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"I'll get you a Jamba Juice on the way home."
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"Let's get 'em!"
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"With my last breath,"
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"Um... (clears throat)"
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"Yeah."
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"Oh, sweetie."
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"Now, the "H" is for "her.""
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"Sittin' pretty."
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"Previously on The Big Bang Theory..."
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"You're moving back to India?"
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"What's going on?"
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"(laughs)"
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"It's-It's not what it looks like."
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"What does it look like?"
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"It's not what it looks like."
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"It's not what it looks like."
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"What are you grinding about?"
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"Penny's brain teaser this morning."
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"She and Koothrappali"
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"emerge from your bedroom."
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"She is disheveled, and Raj is dressed only in a sheet."
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"The sole clue: "It's not what it looks like.""
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"Just let it go, Sheldon."
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"If I could, I would, but I can't, so I shan't."
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"Now, knowing Penny,"
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"the obvious answer is, they engaged in coitus."
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"we can rule that out."
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"Let's put on"
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"Raj is from India, a tropical country."
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"Parasitic infections are common, such as pinworms."
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"Mm-hmm. The procedure"
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"for diagnosing pinworms is to wait"
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"until the subject is asleep,"
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"and the worms crawl out of the rectum for air."
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"Yes, just like that."
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"Penny could have been"
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"inspecting Raj's anal region for parasites."
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"Oh, boy."
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"That's a true blue friend."
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"No, you weren't listening."
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"She said it's not what it looks like."
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"She lied."
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"Oh."
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"Don't I look silly sitting here wearing this?"
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"♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪"
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"♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪"
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"♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ We built the pyramids ♪"
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"♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪"
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"The Big Bang Theory 5x01 The Skank Reflex Analysis Original Air Date on September 22, 2011"
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"Hey."
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"Hey."
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"Hey."
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"Hey."
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"Leonard, is it awkward for you"
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"knowing that one of your dear friends had sexual intercourse"
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"in the very place you lay your head?"
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"No, I'm fine with it."
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"That sounds like sarcasm,"
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"because I have an agenda-- paintball."
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"Specifically, the interdepartmental"
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"tournament this weekend."
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"I thought we should establish a chain of command."
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"that I would outrank the three of you,"
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"but the question remains, by how much?"
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"Now,"
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"and playing golf with the Secretary of Defense."
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"But I also can't be Sergeant Cooper,"
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"because that might lead you"
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"to think of me as just a regular Joe."
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"This might take some thought. As you were."
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"What the hell is wrong with you?"
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"Yeah, how could you do that?"
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"- What is it to you? - I got his back."
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"Yeah, right. You're just jealous because it turns out"
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"I'm Penny's number two choice after Leonard."
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"that totally could have been me."
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"Please. Sheldon would have been before you,"
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"and he might not even have genitals!"
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"Why do you care so much?"
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