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Clips from The Simpsons - Monty Can't Buy Me Love (S10E10)

"Sir, although I do enjoy your loud, excessive honking..."
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"it doesn't seem to be moving the crowd."
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"Oh, tarnation. I've got to see what the excitement's about."
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"No, of course not. The very notion of a talking banana is absurd."
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"- ## - Oh.!"
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"Attention, good shoppers of Springfield!"
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"Someone very special has just entered the store."
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"The world's most popular billionaire-"
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"Oh, please. All this fuss for little old me."
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"- What? - ##"
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"- Climbed Niagara Falls. - Ooh! Oh!"
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"And just last month, I knocked out Muhammad Ali."
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"But this is the biggest thrill ever-"
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"the opening of my 1 1 2th store!"
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"Now I'm afraid I've got some bad news from my accountant today."
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"It seems I have too much money."
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"- I do! - Ha. All right. What's your name, young man?"
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"I don't know. Just give me the dollar."
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"Well, I hope this starts you on your way to a great fortune!"
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"- Now who wants the second dollar? - I do!"
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"Oh, the heck with it."
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"Dollars for everyone!"
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"Fortune! Fortune!"
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"That man's totally insane."
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"This goes right in the old poor box."
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"Not so fast, old chum."
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"##"
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"- ## - Oh, that flamboyant fop."
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"- Well, you have to admit, he is charismatic, sir. - Oh, ''bollish.''"
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"##"
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"and a superior smirk on his greedy, soulless face."
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"money, good looks, strong, sharp teeth."
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"But what's it all worth when nobody likes you?"
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"- I like you, sir. - Are you still here?"
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"Hey! Whoo-hoo!"
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"- Uh, Simpson. - Aaah!"
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"I see. Well, I'll need some beer."
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"Oh, Arthur Fortune."
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"Yes! That's the look I'm looking for."
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"What would make you and your slovenly kind look at me that way?"
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"- Well, you don't have to call me slovenly. - Yes, exactly!"
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"That's the kind of pointer I need."
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"- Tell me more, fatty. - Hmm."
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"That was a close one. Wanna go bowling?"
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"Maybe you should see a doctor about that coin in your brain."
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"Oh!"
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"Well, how about donating money to charity?"
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"A charitable donation, eh?"
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"Well, there's a first time for everything."
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"Take this check for $200,000 to the Springfield Hospital."
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"Can do."
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"What?"
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"Morphine, please."
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"Oh, you must be mad."
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"Well, I will be when the morphine wears off, but until then-"
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"##"
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"Gee, I feel bad."
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"If people knew the real Monty Burns..."
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"and not the silver-dollar-throwing, morphine addict you've become..."
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"they might like you."
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"Oh, get with the times, man. It's Jerry Rude and the Bathroom Bunch."
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"I don't have enough-"
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"I wrote some jokes about how white people are different from black people."
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"- Hmm. - How you doin', Mr. Burns?"
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"Jerry Rude. Welcome to the show."
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"I am pleased to-"
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"All right, let's get this geezer out quick so we can bring in the lesbian gladiators."
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"You see, white people have names like Lenny..."
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"whereas black people have names like Carl."
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"Zoom!"
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"Now, Mr. Rude, I just want you to know I'm a good sport."
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"If you want to make fun of my legendary love of cashews- you have at it."
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"- We're on the air now, Skeletor. - What?"
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"Oh, well, when I was six, my father took me on a picnic."
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"That was a gay old time."
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"Ho-ho! I ate my share of wieners that day."
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"Queer. Um, ever murder anybody?"
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"Well, now, see here. Stop that."
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"Attention, wireless listeners."
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"Oh, stop! Stop! Won't someone please stop the farting? -"
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"Don't worry, folks. He's not dead. I still hear some faint sounds of life."
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"That didn't go well, did it?"
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"I'll never be a popular, beloved billionaire like Arthur Fortune."
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"Oh, Arthur Fortune."
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"You know what that fabulous man just did?"
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"And a stunt like that impresses people?"
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"Wow! A blue car!"
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"If a couple of Chinese bamboo-gobblers can win people's hearts..."
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"- A sober Irishman? - Even rarer."
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"Whew.! That was one long helicopter ride."
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"##"
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"I mean, he's eluded Leonard Nimoy and Peter Graves."
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"Peter Graves couldn't find ugly at a Radcliffe mixer."
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"Hey. Hey. Let's see now. We have the Monsterometer..."
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"Flipper-finder, Hoax-a-Scope, which is important for the looking and finding-"
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"I've never seen them so excited."
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"Hey, Willie. That old couple looks just like you."
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"Aye. 'Tis my ma and pa. They own a tavern hearabouts."
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"They still have the same pool table on which I was conceived, born and educated."
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"- So you're back, Son. - Aye."
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"- I suppose you'll be leavin' soon. - Aye."
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"Good. One more."
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"Where's my monster, tubby? What do you people think I'm paying you for?"
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"- Uh, to work in your power plant? - You're not payin'me anything.!"
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"You kidnapped me. I remember it distinctly..."
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"- It hurt me. - The beast looks something like this."
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"##"
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"You monster!"
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"Oh, my great, good God. Gentlemen, your attention, please."
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"I am detecting a gigantic amphibious life-form."
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"Oh, good glavin! It's on my shoe!"
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"It's a- a small frog."
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"Just get off.Just get off there. Just get out. Get out!"
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"This isn't the Monsterometer. It's the Frog Exaggerator! Oy."
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"Don't worry, Mr. Burns. We're gonna find that monster..."
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"no matter how long it takes."
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"Oh, it's pointless hunting for an animal..."
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"that has 2 4 miles of water to hide in."
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"- Drain the lake. - What?"
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"You heard me. Deploy the Delochinator."
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