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Clips from South Park - The Red Badge of Gayness (S03E03)

"That means you're our slave for a month!"
South Park
"partially in thanks to the North winning the Civil War."
South Park
"- Thanks a lot, Bill Clinton! - Yeah thanks, dick."
South Park
"Ready? One, two, three, four."
South Park
"- I'm playing the drum. - Well, you have to hit it softer!"
South Park
"Shut your pie hole! I'll kick your ass, you... drum!"
South Park
"- That's how you rock, dude. - You're not supposed to rock,"
South Park
"- you're just supposed to keep the beat! - I am keeping the beat!"
South Park
"- You can't be the drummer. - Hey! I'll get it!"
South Park
"Dude, the Civil War re-enactment is tomorrow."
South Park
"- and you play the flute! - No way! Flutes are totally gay!"
South Park
"Cartman, I'm the leader of the re-enactment fife-and-drum squad"
South Park
"Oh. Well, you know what I say? Screw you guys, I'm going home."
South Park
"- You dick! - Later."
South Park
"All righty, everyone!"
South Park
"before we head out to the re-enactment battlefield."
South Park
"and that's the best turnout ever!"
South Park
"they're not gonna let him in the re-enactment."
South Park
"- He'll show. - He better!"
South Park
"I'm also very proud to announce that this year's alcohol sponsor"
South Park
"is Jagerminz S'more-flavoured Schnapps."
South Park
"The schnapps with the delightful taste of s'mores!"
South Park
"- Hey, it does taste like s'mores! - Yeah, and it's got quite a kick, too!"
South Park
"And now to clarify how the re-enactment should unfold,"
South Park
"the only man old enough to have actually seen the Civil War"
South Park
"- Yeah, you're dressed up like the South! - Yes."
South Park
"This year I have decided to fight for the glorious South."
South Park
"And may I say that we're gonna whup your ass this time."
South Park
"You can't just come to a Civil War re-enactment"
South Park
"- Oh really? I'm pretty sure I just did. - Okay, you all know the rules."
South Park
"You must fire your blanks into the air. If someone says they killed you,"
South Park
"- you got to play dead. - The South loses this battle, Cartman!"
South Park
"- No, they're not, stupid! - Yes, we are."
South Park
"How much you wanna bet?"
South Park
"Now, remember everybody, for a good re-enactment,"
South Park
"we've got to pretend down to the last detail"
South Park
"Come on, Cartman, how much you wanna bet the South doesn't win?"
South Park
"Well, this war is about slavery. So how about if the South wins,"
South Park
"you two assholes have to be my slaves for a month!"
South Park
"Then I shall bid you good morning, gentlemen,"
South Park
"- What a dumb-ass! - Yeah!"
South Park
"And with that, let's all head to Tamarack Hill and put on a good show!"
South Park
"Welcome to the South Park re-enactment"
South Park
"The Union Army had to get the bell of Appomattox"
South Park
"Here now is the re-enactment of that great battle!"
South Park
"Yeah!"
South Park
"Hey, what's that guy doing?"
South Park
"- What the hell? - Hey, he took the bell!"
South Park
"- He can't do that! - The Confederacy doesn't take the bell!"
South Park
"God damn it! Now we have to start over!"
South Park
"Now, I know you're just trying to help, Eric, but we have to let the Union Army"
South Park
"- Well, 'cause we're supposed to lose. - But we don't have to lose!"
South Park
"- What? - Gentlemen, we can win this battle!"
South Park
"- By God, he's right. - Jimbo!"
South Park
"No! I've been re-enacting this war"
South Park
"I'm tired of losing this battle!"
South Park
"And I say it's high time we kicked some ass! Who's with me?"
South Park
"All right, folks, sorry for the false start. We're ready to go again."
South Park
"It was a cold morning in 1862! The Union Army had to... What the hell?"
South Park
"That hurt!"
South Park
"God bless those men. And God bless the Confederacy!"
South Park
"- Surrender your men, General! - Jimbo, have you lost your mind?"
South Park
"- Surrender your men, General! - All right, all right! We surrender!"
South Park
"I can't be happy. You ruined the re-enactment!"
South Park
"Come on! Have a little sip!"
South Park
"So you guys about ready to start being my slaves?"
South Park
"You cheated, Cartman!"
South Park
"Yeah, and it doesn't matter because the bet was"
South Park
"I hate you guys so much. So very, very much."
South Park
"And this is not over. Not by a long shot."
South Park
"All I'm saying is that... Is that the Confederates would have"
South Park
"just gotten their asses kicked in Topeka."
South Park
"- Yeah! - You're dreaming!"
South Park
"They mock us in Kansas, soldier."
South Park
"They think the South is a joke. They don't respect our authority."
South Park
"You know what?"
South Park
"and march on to Topeka!"
South Park
"I bet we could too."
South Park
"- I'll bet you can't! - What? Is that a challenge?"
South Park
"- I'll bet we can! - I'll bet you can't,"
South Park
"- because you guys are all pussies. - Pussies? Oh, yeah? Men!"
South Park
"It's time to show the world what this Confederate Army has got!"
South Park
"We're gonna take Topeka once and for all!"
South Park
"- Yeah! - All you men!"
South Park
"You may have lost in the Union today, but join us now and win back your pride!"
South Park
"Let's go!"
South Park
"you have to be my slaves for a month."
South Park
"- Good morning, Mrs. Hollis! - Hello, Ralph."
South Park
"I'm afraid I was grading papers pretty late and..."
South Park
"It's ours! It's ours!"
South Park
"- Yeah! - All right, Yank!"
South Park
"Tell us where you keep your Jagerminz S'more-flavoured Schnapps!"
South Park
"Schnapps?"
South Park
"- Where? - At the liquor store! At the liquor store!"
South Park
"This is the most bizarre thing I've ever seen."
South Park
"Dude, my mom is so pissed at my dad for going to Kansas."
South Park
"I know, but why do they have to take it out on us?"
South Park
"Why do we have to wait around for them to come back?"
South Park
"Here comes the bus."
South Park
"Confederate messenger Butters reporting, sir."
South Park
"Topeka. We're raising all kinds of hell, see."
South Park
"As we fight our way northward into the great unknown,"
South Park
"I must rally the men onward to Missouri. Because I will not stop until"
South Park
"God damn it! That fat piece of...!"
South Park
"If I told you that, why I'd be a no-good Yankee son of a bitch."
South Park
"- We'll give you 10 bucks. - Oh, okay."
South Park
"...and was forced to live off her own faeces for several days."
South Park
"In national news, a frightening radical group from Colorado"
South Park
"is making its way across the southern states of America!"
South Park
"The group is recruiting new members"
South Park
"in each town they pass through, and rapidly growing in number!"
South Park
"So authorities have decided to call in the National Guard."
South Park
"The group seems to be led by military mastermind"
South Park
"who is known for his guerilla fighting and leadership skills."
South Park
"Get over here!"
South Park
"You've got to stop, Dad."
South Park
"This is a re-enactment, Kyle."
South Park
"My name is Private John Farcastle, and I have to do what my general tells me!"
South Park
"Hey, there's some more schnapps over here!"
South Park
"More schnapps!"
South Park
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