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Clips from The Simpsons - The Blue and the Gray (S22E22)

"I never been happier."
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"See? There."
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"Even you let me down, Hitler!"
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"They say for every man"
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"Stupid double snuggler's hitch!"
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"happens in the first 6.5 seconds."
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"Now I got to find a friend?"
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"We could try it out this weekend"
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"Oh, and then I found a gray hair-- no big deal."
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"Really?"
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"Can we reschedule?"
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"Now, let's rub this toxic blue goo onto your scalp."
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"D'oh!"
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"Nice talk-blocking."
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"Such audacity!"
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"Neither did I."
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"I don't like their Westways magazine."
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"Hey, Bart!"
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"'cause your mom aged 30 years in a day?"
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"they were once two-thirds of conjoined triplets."
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"They never think to look behind the jazz-fest poster."
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"I mean, you went gray yourselves."
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"Oops, dropped my stirrer."
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"Nice to see ya. Life is good?"
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"D'oh!"
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"You!"
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"♪ The Simpsons 22x13 ♪ The Blue and the Gray Original Air Date on February 13, 2011"
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"♪ You're nobody ♪"
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"♪ Till somebody ♪"
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"♪ Loves you ♪"
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"♪ You're nobody ♪"
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"♪ Till somebody cares ♪"
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"Da-yee..."
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"You know,"
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"I love our Valentine's Day tradition"
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"of going out with each other's sisters."
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"Is there anything better than my best friend's face"
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"on a girl body? Not that I can think of."
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"Nothing better."
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"Boy, I love Valentine's Day."
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"Stir a drop of Jagermeister into some pink lemonade,"
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"slice in some strawberry ChapStick,"
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"Mmm... call it Cupid's ambrosia,"
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"and you can charge up to the wazoo."
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"Now all you need are customers."
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"Well, better get home to the little woman."
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"Do you have plans for tonight?"
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"What, are you crazy? Of course I do."
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"Got a hot date."
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"Come on, scram, so I can get ready."
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"I'm telling you, I'm fine."
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"There, that's a smile, right?"
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"Showing teeth, eyes all crinkly."
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"Hey, hey, stop opening doors!"
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"Coming up next on World of War, Hmm?"
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""Hitler and Eva Braun: Crazy in Love.""
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"Hey, you! Spending Valentine's Day by yourself?"
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"Huhza?"
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"If you're watching this alone,"
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"your love life is like Sister Act 3-- no Whoopi!"
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"I knew my love life was like that movie somehow."
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"Well, I'm gonna tell you my secrets right now..."
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"if "right now" means tomorrow night at my seminar"
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"at the Springfield Airport Motor Lodge."
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"So, if you're ready"
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"to turn from couch potato"
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"to sex tornado,"
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"come and see me, Dr. Kissingher."
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"Eh, what have I got to lose."
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"somewhere on Earth there's one woman."
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"Homer!"
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"We only have five minutes until the school bus comes."
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"Drive my kids to school! Never!"
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"Only hope is to chew off my leg!"
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"Ow!"
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"Ow!"
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"Mmm, not bad."
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"Just 127 more hours."
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"Wha...?"
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"My first gray hair!"
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"Oh, Marge, don't worry."
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"A lot of movie stars have gray hair,"
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"like all those women we loved in the '80s."
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"Homie, you always mean to say"
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"the nicest things."
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"Well, it's not easy with you talking all the time."
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"Uh, excuse me, is this the seminar"
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"where you learn how to pick up free escorts?"
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"Well, we're not learning how to fold cloth napkins."
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"Well, I got excited for nothing."
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"Gentlemen,"
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"prepare for the potentate of the potent date,"
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"the know-it-all of the protocol of the booty call,"
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"Dr. Kiss... ing... her!"
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"Once we were single-celled organisms"
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"who could replicate whenever we wanted."
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"We were men back then!"
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"But today we need more help. Who's first?"
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"You! The guy who's been here since 3:00 this afternoon."
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"It's hell to meet girls when you're paid in chickens."
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"Okay, I'm a sexy girl, and research shows"
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"that my decision to sleep with you"
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"Go!"
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"Eh, my name's Willie,"
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"and, uh, all I do is get drunk"
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"and kill squirrels with me shovel."
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"Okay, now I'll translate that into romance language."
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"Hi. I'm William."
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"I'm a connoisseur of fine spirits,"
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"and I love animals to death."
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"Do me next! Do me next!"
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"Ah! A monster! Save me!"
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"Sorry, that was unprofessional."
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"Please, go on."
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"As a kid, I had roundworm."
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"Heck, I was more worm than boy for a couple of years."
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"I dabbled in Satanism"
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"until I was asked to leave."
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"Oh, and one month, I ate nothing but aquarium fish."
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"Your only hope is to use a wingman."
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