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Clips from Family Guy - Carter and Tricia (S15E15)

"Hey, careful. I'd hate for you to be unresponsive"
Family Guy
"to my pleasuring while you're driving because of intoxication."
Family Guy
"BRIAN: Stewie, is this about anything"
Family Guy
"STEWIE: It's about all facets of driving safety, yes."
Family Guy
"I'm gonna fast-forward."
Family Guy
"What a waste."
Family Guy
"and I'm shaking my head at the senseless waste."
Family Guy
"Sir, we've done our police tests."
Family Guy
"The driver was being mouth-pleased"
Family Guy
"at the moment of impact."
Family Guy
"♪ ♪"
Family Guy
"Lois! Fat Ass!"
Family Guy
"Family, I want you to meet Tricia Takanawa."
Family Guy
"Hello, everyone. So happy you came."
Family Guy
"and if anyone needs some dirty underpants,"
Family Guy
"the vending machine's right over there."
Family Guy
"No, Peter. I'm getting our coats."
Family Guy
"We're leaving."
Family Guy
"GIRL: No! Bill too crinkly!"
Family Guy
"Try again!"
Family Guy
"You dollar funny!"
Family Guy
"This must be so difficult for you."
Family Guy
"It is. There's a lot of choices here."
Family Guy
"But I ain't talking to you."
Family Guy
"I thought you were supposed to be doing a news story on Carter,"
Family Guy
"not shacking up with him."
Family Guy
"The truth is all I ever wanted"
Family Guy
"was to some day have a family of my own."
Family Guy
"And I realized Carter could give me all of that."
Family Guy
"A family all your own?"
Family Guy
"Yes. A family just like this,"
Family Guy
"in fact, with a fine son just like you, Peter."
Family Guy
"A son to whom I could one day give a piece of sour plum candy."
Family Guy
"(gasps)"
Family Guy
"Thank you, Mama Tricia!"
Family Guy
"But a lazy son who does not make me proud?"
Family Guy
"Peter, that son deserves no candy."
Family Guy
"(crying)"
Family Guy
"I swear, Mama Tricia,"
Family Guy
"I'm gonna make you the proudest Tiger Mom of all!"
Family Guy
"Not like how Jesus feels about his kid."
Family Guy
"They flipped up my lunch tray!"
Family Guy
"I wonder if that's the worst thing"
Family Guy
"that ever happened to a guy?"
Family Guy
"Whoa. Whoa!"
Family Guy
"Billy, this guy in this book here--"
Family Guy
"Okay, I'm sorry. What happened at school today?"
Family Guy
"You're kind of a dick, Dad."
Family Guy
"whose dad was a bigger dick."
Family Guy
"Wow! Crazy!"
Family Guy
"Uh, Mom, why is Dad over there playing chess"
Family Guy
"with Tricia Takanawa?"
Family Guy
"Because, Chris, your idiot father"
Family Guy
"and he's trying to impress her."
Family Guy
"No. You will do it in the traditional Japanese way--"
Family Guy
"on a wacky game show while a beautiful woman"
Family Guy
"Why is that guy laughing at me and where is he?"
Family Guy
"There was a time limit? Nobody told me that."
Family Guy
"(yells)"
Family Guy
"Grandpa-san, how bad was the bad door?"
Family Guy
"But shortly afterwards,"
Family Guy
"I was almost eaten alive by an escalator."
Family Guy
"(bell buzzes)"
Family Guy
"The game is still going on?"
Family Guy
"Peter, another way to impress your Asian Tiger Mom"
Family Guy
"is to put on this old-fashioned baseball hat"
Family Guy
"You got it, Mama Tricia."
Family Guy
"Okay, nice and slow, Doctor Jones."
Family Guy
"More alcohol and pot."
Family Guy
"Yeah, let's get you out of the tub first, Doctor Jones."
Family Guy
"I want to fly an old plane."
Family Guy
"I'm not sure that's a great idea."
Family Guy
"Not a new, safe one."
Family Guy
"Uh, yeah, yeah, I got that."
Family Guy
"(shrieks) There's a skeleton in my bedroom."
Family Guy
"That's your wife, Doctor Jones."
Family Guy
"Now maybe today we don't do the earring?"
Family Guy
"No. Earring every day."
Family Guy
"All right, Brian, let's begin."
Family Guy
"Great, let's do it."
Family Guy
"Where are your hands, Brian?"
Family Guy
"Uh... on the steering wheel?"
Family Guy
"All right, commence."
Family Guy
"IPDE, Brian, IPDE. What?"
Family Guy
"You've got to constantly be IPDE-ing everything"
Family Guy
"I-I-I-I don't, I don't know what you're saying."
Family Guy
"Yeah, you said that."
Family Guy
"but it doesn't mean anyth... IPDE that."
Family Guy
"Uh... it's a child with a ball. Very good."
Family Guy
"Identified. Now predict."
Family Guy
"Predict what? IPDE."
Family Guy
"Yeah, you keep saying that like it's a word."
Family Guy
"Those four letters don't make a word."
Family Guy
"It-it's not helping me remember anything."
Family Guy
"Well, now you've got an oncoming vehicle."
Family Guy
"What? What is that? Fo-four-to-six second...?"
Family Guy
"IPDE the car, Brian. IPDE the car!"
Family Guy
"What does that mean?"
Family Guy
"Now, check your gauges with one eye"
Family Guy
"while keeping your other eye on the road."
Family Guy
"My eyes go in the same direction."
Family Guy
"What's your tire pressure?"
Family Guy
"I-I can't... I don't... I-I'm in the car."
Family Guy
"Stop! Demerit! (tires squeal)"
Family Guy
"Stewie, I know how to drive."
Family Guy
"I've been driving for years."
Family Guy
"(horn honking)"
Family Guy
"Ever hear of IPDE, jackass?"
Family Guy
"(crickets chirping)"
Family Guy
"I had a great day with the fat son."
Family Guy
"He's started to respond positively"
Family Guy
"to the caning of his buttocks and knuckles."
Family Guy
"Speaking of buttocks and knuckles,"
Family Guy
"let's fool around."
Family Guy
"Mmm, sounds good."
Family Guy
"I wonder if I can tell you"
Family Guy
"one of my deepest sexual fantasies?"
Family Guy
"(burps)"
Family Guy
"but I love it when a man confesses"
Family Guy
"to manufacturing improprieties."
Family Guy
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