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Clips from Friends - The One with All the Jealousy (S03E03)

"What are you reading?"
Friends
"Flowers of Evil by Baudelaire. Have you read it?"
Friends
"Ha, ha. Have I read it?"
Friends
"No. Are you enjoying it?"
Friends
"I thought that I would, but the translation's no good."
Friends
"[LAUGHS]"
Friends
"You're a poet and you don't know it."
Friends
"Actually, I, uh... I am a poet."
Friends
"Oh. Ha, ha."
Friends
"So you do know it. Ha, ha."
Friends
"[MONICA CLEARS THROAT]"
Friends
"Ahem. So, uh, what kind of things do you write about?"
Friends
"Things that move me."
Friends
"The shadow of a tree..."
Friends
"...a child laughing..."
Friends
"...or this lip."
Friends
"Mine?"
Friends
"Right here?"
Friends
"I could write an epic poem about this lip."
Friends
"How would that go?"
Friends
"Well, it didn't rhyme, ha, ha..."
Friends
"...but I liked it."
Friends
"You've got to pick a pocket or two"
Friends
"Lovely. Just lovely."
Friends
"Really? Thanks."
Friends
"Listen, Joey, we definitely wanna see you for the callback on Saturday."
Friends
"Excellent."
Friends
"- I'll be there. - Ha, ha. Okay."
Friends
"And listen, don't forget to bring your jazz shoes for the dance audition."
Friends
"Uh, my agent said that it wasn't a dancing part."
Friends
"Joey, all the roles gotta dance a little. Ha, ha."
Friends
"But believe me, with your dance background, it'll be a piece of cake."
Friends
"Three years of modern dance with Twyla Tharp?"
Friends
"Five years with the American Ballet Theatre?"
Friends
"Hey, everybody lies on their résumé, okay?"
Friends
"I wasn't one of the Zoom kids either."
Friends
"Well, can you, like, dance at all?"
Friends
"Yeah, I can dance. You know:"
Friends
"What is that?"
Friends
"Sure, it looks stupid now. There's no music playing."
Friends
"[PHONE RINGING]"
Friends
"Hello?"
Friends
"Yeah, listen, I'm in need of a stripper, and I was told that you do that."
Friends
"[CHUCKLING]"
Friends
"So would I have to provide the grapes?"
Friends
"- Hi. - Ooh."
Friends
"It was so amazing."
Friends
"He's so sexy and smart, which makes him even sexier."
Friends
"Oh, my gosh. Last night we were fooling around..."
Friends
"Get out. I couldn't stop if a meteor hit me."
Friends
"Okay, we have our stripper, a Miss Crystal Chandelier."
Friends
"Well, sure. You name a kid that, what do you expect them to grow up to be?"
Friends
"Ahem. Anyway, when he left he forgot to take the poem with him."
Friends
"Now, I am totally dense about poetry, but I think this is pretty good, all right?"
Friends
"Check it out. Read it."
Friends
""The Empty Vase.""
Friends
"Translucent beauty..."
Friends
"To yourself."
Friends
"- Hey, you know, that's pretty good. - Yeah, I think so too. Phoebe?"
Friends
"- Yay. All right, I gotta go to work. - No, no. I'm not done."
Friends
"- Okay, see you guys. - Bye-bye."
Friends
"PHOEBE: Bye."
Friends
"Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Poor Monica."
Friends
"- What? What? What? PHOEBE: What?"
Friends
"He was with her when he wrote this poem. Look."
Friends
"My vessel so lovely With nothing inside"
Friends
"Now that I've touched you You seem emptier still"
Friends
"He thinks Monica's empty. She's the empty vase."
Friends
"- You really think that's what he meant? - Totally."
Friends
"Oh, God. Oh, and she seems so happy too."
Friends
"Done."
Friends
"Do you have the Ralph Lauren file?"
Friends
"Oh, yeah, sure. It's, uh right..."
Friends
"[FRANCIS LAI'S "LOVE STORY" PLAYING ON SPEAKER]"
Friends
"What's that?"
Friends
"Uh, it's from Ross. It's a love bug."
Friends
"Wow. Somebody wants people to know you have a boyfriend."
Friends
"Oh, no. No, no, no. That's not what he's doing."
Friends
"- He's just really romantic. - Okay."
Friends
"Yes, I am."
Friends
"[PLAYS TONE]"
Friends
"One, two, three."
Friends
"QUARTET [SINGING]: Congratulations on your first week"
Friends
"At your brand-new job"
Friends
"It won't be long Before you're the boss"
Friends
"[SCATTING]"
Friends
"And you know who will be there To support you"
Friends
"Your one and only boyfriend"
Friends
"Your loyal, loving boyfriend, Ross Ross!"
Friends
"I'm hurt. I'm actually hurt..."
Friends
"...that you'd think I'd send you those things out of anything other than love."
Friends
"Hurt."
Friends
"- Hurt. - All right, Ross, I get it. You're hurt."
Friends
"Can't a guy send a barbershop quartet to his girlfriend's office anymore?"
Friends
"Oh, please. Ross, it was so obvious."
Friends
"It was like you were marking your territory."
Friends
"I mean, you might as well have just come in and peed all around my desk."
Friends
"I would never do that."
Friends
"Look, I know what's going on here, okay?"
Friends
"Yeah, well, if Mark said that, then Mark's an idiot."
Friends
"Mark's a genius."
Friends
"- Why? How? How is he a genius? - Look, don't you see what's happening?"
Friends
"Now he's gonna be the guy that she goes to to complain about you."
Friends
"What am I gonna do?"
Friends
"Well, why don't you send her a musical bug?"
Friends
"All right, look, you're gonna have to go there yourself now, okay?"
Friends
"- Make a few surprise visits. - I don't know, you guys."
Friends
"Fine, don't do anything. Just sit here and talk to us."
Friends
"Meanwhile, she is talking to him about you. And he's being Mr. Joe-Sensitive."
Friends
"She starts thinking, "Maybe this is the guy for me because he understands me.""
Friends
"And before you know it, she's with him."
Friends
"And you'll be all, "Oh, man.""
Friends
"And he'll be all, "Yes!""
Friends
"And us, we'll be like, "Oh, dude.""
Friends
"And pretty soon you'll be like:"
Friends
"[IN SAD VOICE] "Hi.""
Friends
"And, "Well, I can't go. Rachel and Mark might be there.""
Friends
"[IN NORMAL VOICE] And we'll be like, "Man, get over it. It's been four years.""
Friends
"Here's the Shelli Segal stuff for December."
Friends
"- Oh, wait, I've got something for you. - What? Oh... Mark."
Friends
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