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Clips from Scrubs - My Changing Ways (S04E04)

"- Who are these guys? - The last eight guys in the hospital"
Scrubs
"who don't realise I suck at basketball. So here's what's gonna happen."
Scrubs
"You go, "Damn, we just lost the best player out here.""
Scrubs
"Like talking to people while she's on the toilet."
Scrubs
"Is now the time I'm supposed to be embarrassed"
Scrubs
"because I like fine food and Korean call girls?"
Scrubs
"No, I'm here because the budget's a mess."
Scrubs
"3-12 x 4-8-1 equals..."
Scrubs
"Sir, it's not giving me the answer."
Scrubs
"Bob, this whole thing is only gonna take a couple of days,"
Scrubs
"so why not let Jordan do it?"
Scrubs
"I hate you."
Scrubs
"- In this hellhole, I'll need a gun. - Bottom left."
Scrubs
"Why are we lying in the parking lot?"
Scrubs
"- What does SCB mean? - "Super Chocolate Bear"."
Scrubs
"Don't look at me. I'm as regular as rain."
Scrubs
"- Someone stole a case of laxatives. - Who wants a piece of pie?"
Scrubs
"This one was obvious."
Scrubs
"and this is Randal."
Scrubs
"- Jake, is it? - Yeah, it's..."
Scrubs
"Look, no one here is settling."
Scrubs
"I see it's time for my annual cologne intervention."
Scrubs
"Lonnie, you're killing us. And, honestly, what's the point?"
Scrubs
"- I had to sell my Miata. - Why?"
Scrubs
"- Thanks for that. - Keep moving, foetus-face."
Scrubs
"- No, you come here, eat your steak! - What are you doing?"
Scrubs
"So you moved back all the furniture"
Scrubs
"If he stays, I'll drive him to the country and leave him."
Scrubs
"I can't believe you talked me into this."
Scrubs
"and I splattered his shirt with blood."
Scrubs
"before you start believing in yourself?"
Scrubs
"You're right."
Scrubs
"For instance, I don't know that much about your home life,"
Scrubs
"your dog like a wife and your son like an androgynous ne'er-do-well"
Scrubs
"who drains your retirement to open up a shop in Minneapolis."
Scrubs
"Harrison posted his first profit this quarter."
Scrubs
"and when I work out when I get to work."
Scrubs
"if I wasn't convinced Jordan wouldn't already be there"
Scrubs
"she went ahead and signed us up for an eternal tandem bike ride"
Scrubs
"I'm so glad you shared."
Scrubs
"I'll have to think about it."
Scrubs
"- Hooch just got in the shower. - Let the games begin."
Scrubs
"If it happens again, I will wait in my SUV,"
Scrubs
"Why? We'll be able to pull pranks on him after you move out."
Scrubs
"You know how you're prone to sensitive, girly displays of sentimentality?"
Scrubs
"- and I'll help you pack your stuff. - Can we cut words out of magazines"
Scrubs
"Come on, Elliot. He's always telling you what to do."
Scrubs
"That's not true."
Scrubs
"Hey, it's Jake. Buzz me up."
Scrubs
"Don't let him be your puppet master."
Scrubs
"So, do you think I should take the job?"
Scrubs
"Stick your hand out."
Scrubs
"Good man."
Scrubs
"Get yourself some ice cream. Go on, get out of here."
Scrubs
"Answer it."
Scrubs
"- I got the fellowship. - Hey!"
Scrubs
"- I'm sorry, Bob. I can't take the job. - Maybe next year."
Scrubs
"- Morning. - Yeah."
Scrubs
"Turk didn't even realize he pissed me off,"
Scrubs
"- That seat's taken, arse-face. - By who?"
Scrubs
"I wasn't the only unhappy person in our hospital family."
Scrubs
"Seriously! The only one I have left is the one I'm wearing,"
Scrubs
"and it works great. See?"
Scrubs
"I'm stuck until laundry day."
Scrubs
"Here. Watch this. Elliot, will you shove that guy?"
Scrubs
"Why do that? I was trying to prove you don't do everything I say."
Scrubs
"Yeah, I know. It's just..."
Scrubs
"- Who's ready for a pie break? - No."
Scrubs
"- Come on. Why not? - Why don't you ask Todd?"
Scrubs
"Due to what can only be described as epic diarrhoea,"
Scrubs
"Make it stop five."
Scrubs
"Maybe I was being unfair to Turk."
Scrubs
"and want to talk about it."
Scrubs
"Then things took a turn."
Scrubs
"Wait, where's Rowdy?"
Scrubs
"OK, he's going up. I'll take the stairs."
Scrubs
"You don't let anyone out of that elevator. Be strong, Hooch."
Scrubs
"So where's Chocolate Bear Number Two?"
Scrubs
"Instead I'm trying to figure out your problem."
Scrubs
"I've been here for 11 years, and it's always the same story."
Scrubs
"And then they kiss?"
Scrubs
"Down, he's waking up."
Scrubs
"Lookit, I tried to guilt you into not taking that job."
Scrubs
"Really?"
Scrubs
"and feel bad about not being with her kids."
Scrubs
"Say you're sorry, give me a hug and this'll be over."
Scrubs
"Why do I have to say I'm sorry?"
Scrubs
"I don't mean to sound girly,"
Scrubs
"How is that girly?"
Scrubs
"Look, before, when you said I'd never be as cool as when I was living with you,"
Scrubs
"That's Carla. I gotta go."
Scrubs
"Really."
Scrubs
"The way some things never change shines a light on the things that do."
Scrubs
"Can't believe I'm actually doing this."
Scrubs
"I think we should have a baby."
Scrubs
"I mean, it's not like opportunity's just gonna fall into your lap."
Scrubs
"Hi."
Scrubs
"You eyeballin' my woman?"
Scrubs
"So here I am, sitting on a box"
Scrubs
"and a single tear on my cheek."
Scrubs
"I can't help but wonder how I got to this place."
Scrubs
"I finally mastered my running hook shot, OK?"
Scrubs
"So when we go to pick teams, I'm gonna hit that shot."
Scrubs
"Then you say, "I'll take that guy.""
Scrubs
"At which point, Carla is gonna page me,"
Scrubs
"and I'll say, "Crap, I gotta go.""
Scrubs
"There'll be eight guys who think I'm good at sports and word will spread."
Scrubs
"I got that guy."
Scrubs
"Elliot's boyfriend, Jake, had given her confidence to do things"
Scrubs
"- OK, you ready to do this? - You know it."
Scrubs
"so I'm gonna have her do the talking. You say when."
Scrubs
"Bob Kelso here before noon?"
Scrubs
"That was me, folks."
Scrubs
"Ted's not making much headway."
Scrubs
"It's a typewriter, you jackass!"
Scrubs
"but that only gets her out of the house once every couple of months or so."
Scrubs
"but I think spending every waking moment with the child,"
Scrubs
"I think... I think it's starting to get to her."
Scrubs
"Welcome aboard. This will be your office for the next few days."
Scrubs
"- Ted, find someplace else to work. - Oh, man! Not again!"
Scrubs
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