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Clips from The Office - Downsize (S01E01)

"I suppose I've created an atmosphere where I'm a friend first"
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"and you've made my life easier"
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"inasmuch as I'm going to let you go first."
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"Er... what am I meant to have stolen?"
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"Post-it notes."
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"Well done. Settling in."
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""Thanks for these. Check them out.""
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"You're such a sad little man."
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"Is it the stock?"
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"Is it the turnover?"
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"It's the people. Investment in people. Yeah?"
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"I don't give shitty jobs."
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"If a good man..."
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"comes to me,"
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"and says, "thank you, David, for the opportunity and continued support"
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""in the work-related arena,"
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""but I've done that, I want to better myself, I want to move on.""
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"aka, for you."
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"The point is you talk the talk, but do not walk the walk,"
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"Sammy, you old slag."
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"Have you advertised the forklift driver's job?"
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"no good, don't bother. I've got the man here. He's perfick."
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"Yeah, yeah. He's first-aid trained, yeah."
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"Yeah. We'll get a c.v. over to you this afternoon."
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"I'm seeing you sunday, aren't I? For my sins?"
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"How is Elaine? She left you yet?"
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"All right. See you then."
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"I've been in the business for twelve years."
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"so putting together my team."
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"Lovely Dawn."
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"Dawn Tinsley. Receptionist."
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"What?!"
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"How many times have I told you there's a special filing cabinet for things from the head office."
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"Better get that back."
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"They go, "we've never worked in a place like this before."
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"- Be gentle with me today, Dawn. - Why is that?"
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"Oh, god, I had a skinful last night."
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"I was out with Finchy - Chris Finch. Had us on a pub crawl."
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"El vino did flow."
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"I was blar... tered."
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"Bladdered."
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"You got to go for it."
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"There's guys my age, and they look 50."
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"- Thirty si... - Thirty, yeah....yeah."
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"About that. But I'm going to have to slow down."
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"If every single night of the week's too much!"
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"And every lunchtime!"
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"- How many have I had this week? - What?"
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"How many pints have I drank this week if you're counting?"
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"- I'm not counting. - Aren't you?"
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"and that is what I want, ok? That's all."
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"It's a shame."
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"Just the eight pints for me last night."
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"That's all."
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"oh, no. Oh, god."
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""Boss and team leader in drunken night out shock horror," it says here."
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"I don't think."
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"and whether we can supply it with them,"
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"and whether they can pay for it."
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"And I'm boring myself talking about it."
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"Wassup?!"
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"Wassup."
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"You're fired, Keenan. Drunkard."
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"Hypocrite warning."
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"What's he been saying?"
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"It's all true."
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"Guilty as charged."
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"Went out with a few of his mates, didn't we?"
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"And he goes, "tag along if you want,"
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""but i must warn you, David, they do get a bit rowdy after a few pints.""
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""We can't stand it anymore, we're going." and they just left!"
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"Resolve!"
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"Nothing."
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"- See you later. - See you later."
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"Would you mind giving maintenance a call? There's a nasty smell in the lift."
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"Head office don't really interfere with me at all."
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"Jennifer Taylor-Clark. We call her Camilla Parker-Bowles!"
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"Not to her face. Not 'cause I'm scared of her."
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"I got them off Nobby Burton who comes round with a suitcase."
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"Ok. Meeting with Jennifer Taylor-Clarke present."
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"Did no get an agenda."
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"Yeah, we may have."
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"Because a company runs on efficiency of communication."
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"As a joke, yeah."
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"It's not even my joke it's my brothers joke and it's meant to be with bills. Doesn't really work with faxes."
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"- Do you want to have a look at mine? - Yeah."
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"there should be no ego when you're pulling together to do something good. Yeah?"
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"Yeah? I'm out here in Africa -"
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"and I'm seeing the flies and the starvation -"
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"and she - if she is the boss -"
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"good luck to them but their hands are clean, while I'm down here in the office"
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"with little starving kids."
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"Right. Since the last meeting..."
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"Alan and the board have decided"
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"that we can't justify a Swindon branch and a Slough branch."
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"- Oh.....ok go on. - No no no no, listen David. Don't panic."
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"Should be good. This is it. Go on."
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"- We haven't made any deci... - don't panic?"
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"We haven't made any decisions. I've spoken to Neil in Swindon."
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"I've told him the same as you."
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"and it's up to either you or him"
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"to convince me that your branch could incorporate the other."
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"Did I no want to hear that, Jenny. because redundancies are a tragedy always."
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"I wouldn't wish that on Neil's men, I certainly wouldn't wish that on my men... or women."
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"- Well yes, of course, yes. - Good. Because I'm very concerned about redundancies."
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"Although I understand if they're absolutely necessary, as a businessman.."
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"- The they have to....does he understand....go on. - David."
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"- Can we not talk about redundancies? What we have to decide.. - Well...we have to sooner or later."
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"- Yeah, we'll take on theirs. - No..."
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"- I decide. - You do decide but..."
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"- once you make your case. - Based on fact."
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"Ok. Is there a time limit on...?"
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"Let it go onto answering machine."
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"Hi, mate. Not around at the moment, so please leave a mess-arge."
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"- Hello bloke it's Finch. - Chris Finch. Bloody good rep."
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"- Got a hangover, you big poof? - Ah, that's derogatory."
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"You're in with Jennifer today, aren't you?"
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"- Cheers, big ears. - Awful. Awful man."
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"Stop looking up her skirt."
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"- David? - I wasn't."
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