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Clips from The Office - Downsize (S01E01)

"Then I can make that dream come true to..."
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"The man who gives the jobs in the warehouse is a personal friend of mine. All right?"
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"David Brent."
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"Been at Wernham Hogg as general manager for eight of those,"
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"- Been with us for ages, haven't you? - Yeah."
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"I'd say, at one time or another,"
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"every bloke in the office has woken up at the crack of Dawn!"
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"Can I have the mail, please?"
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"Yeah."
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"Just a fax."
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"- Dawn, this is from head office. - I know."
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"People say I'm the best boss."
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"c'est la vie. If that's true, excellent."
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"Blottoed."
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"Don't ever come out with me and Finchy."
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"How old do you think I look?"
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"Drinking a bit too much."
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"You seem to know a lot about my drinking."
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"Imagine if I started doing that with you."
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"but I don't because I'm a professional."
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"And professionalism is..."
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"- Wassup?! - Don't do that!"
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"It's not like I'm out again tonight with oggy."
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"That'd be a quiet night in at the library - not!"
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"Hey, wassup?! I love that."
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"Oh, god."
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"and I went, "i'll see if i can stand it." I was worse than them by the end!"
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"Take care."
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"Jennifer might come down once a week."
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"Two for a tenner. Yes, please, four. So..."
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"- Right... - shoot."
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"- Sorry? - Did not get an agenda, no."
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"Yeah, sure, she'd say she's the boss, but..."
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"It's like... comic relief."
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"- There are alarm bells. - No listen to me - no no no. Don't panic."
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"Present company excepted. Is Neil concerned about redundancies?"
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"Yes, but at the moment what we have to decide,"
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"is do you take on Swindon's people at this branch or the other way round."
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"No. You and I don't decide."
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"- Give her one for me, son. - Ah."
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"- Would you? - Well, I don't know."
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"Keith and Jamie are having these little..."
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"...clandestine little chats about being out of work."
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"- Guilty! - All right? Hi."
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"Staff. Only."
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""Ricky. No, Ricky!" what was his girlfriend's name on eastenders?"
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"- Bianca. - "Ricky! Leave it!""
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"Into the fray!"
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"What upsets me about the job? Um..."
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"wasted talent, yeah?"
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"That's the tragedy."
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"What are you doing?"
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"It's all coming over the edge here."
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"Send them out to get the plants, the girls. It makes them a little bit happy."
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"You're a twat, Gareth. A twat and a knob end."
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"At last. So..."
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"...managed to scrape a first in the end."
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"- Hello. - All right?"
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"Ricky, the new temp. Introduce yourself."
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"Gareth Keenan, assistant regional manager."
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"Assistant to the regional manager. Gareth's my right-hand man."
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"No, he's not."
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"Tell him about the car and the kung fu and everything."
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"Yeah you show a weakness, he'll pounce. You should know about that."
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"Well, don't do that! Eat it out."
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"- Mad here. - Can't you discipline him?"
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"Yeah, it's all right here,"
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"but people do sometimes take advantage because it's so relaxed."
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"but this is a place of work."
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"I was in the territorial army for three years,"
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"Hey dude."
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"It's got my name on it - Gareth."
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"Perhaps that's why you should ask."
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"Ok."
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"I'm going to let this go unless you stop acting like a fool."
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"- I don't know why you're laughing. - Leave her out of it."
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"You carry on. Listen, you bring me down to this, mate."
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"What's that?"
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"Cancer of them old testicles."
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"yeah. Well, basically, I've checked all other possibilities"
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"and it's come down to the calculator."
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"No. You give me a sum, I'll try it out. All right."
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"Plus..."
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"I don't like acting like a kid, do you know what I mean?"
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"What are you doing?"
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"Number two, misuse of company files."
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"Misuse of files? Right."
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"Ok. Um..."
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"thanks for coming in. This'll take a minute."
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"Er... right. I am aware of the rumours that have been circulating,"
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"I don't need your permission."
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"have deemed it appropriate to enforce an ultimatum upon me,"
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""Ok? You can go and fiddle with Neil's people, but I'm the head of this family."
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"- you think I'd let that happen? No..way. - It'd be out of your hands."
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"Well... I have promised it."
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"then maybe you should adhere to the ongoing confidentiality agreement"
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"So you can't say whether it's going to be us or them."
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"This is my ship and I've asked you to trust me, and you can't go wrong."
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"- It's not a question of trust. - It is a question of trust, Malcom."
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"Assistant to the regional manager. They're gone."
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"I mean, that's just natural selection."
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"In the wild, some people wouldn't survive."
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"He's got great big platform shoes on so he can reach the pedals"
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"because of his little legs."
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"but should he be working here?"
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"- Just tell me. - If you want to speak to me then give me a ring, ok?"
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"- It's on voicemail. - Leave a message."
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"Yes. This is stupid."
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"I've got 160 down here, but I'm sure that isn't right because when I spoke to Glynn earlier on, he..."
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"Oh, no, trouble. Sanj."
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"- Go on. - I don't."
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"- You're thinking of someone else. - Oh! Sorry."
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"That's racist."
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"I haven't got a sign on the door that says, "white people only"."
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"You know, I don't care if you're black, brown, yellow -"
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"- What's in the bag? - Just..tell her I'll see her later."
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"Certainly will, all right mate. Take care."
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"- All right? - Yeah. All right."
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"Play hard when we should be working hard sometimes, partly down to me, sure."
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"I let them get away with murder, in return and they let me get away with murder. The girls love me."
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