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Clips from Scrubs - My Best Laid Plans (S04E04)

"Wait right here."
Scrubs
"I assume your facilities are in-building?"
Scrubs
"Pleasure myself, weep and repeat."
Scrubs
"See, Turk? This is our problem."
Scrubs
"When have I ever made a mountain out of a molehill?"
Scrubs
"is assess intravascular volume..."
Scrubs
"I was "ahhing" because I was bored, thought that might drive you crazy."
Scrubs
"You're a wonderful teacher. Stop in front of my residents."
Scrubs
"- It's unprofessional. - You're right, Barbie. Carry on."
Scrubs
"So when you're dealing with cardiogenic shock..."
Scrubs
"Oh, wait a minute. Yes, it would."
Scrubs
"We're kissing, and she's like, "It's a little hot in here,""
Scrubs
"and she starts pulling down her skirt."
Scrubs
"Thank God Turk left, I can't think about sex anymore."
Scrubs
"Ouch."
Scrubs
"I'm sure he's not that possessive."
Scrubs
"Get away from my doctor!"
Scrubs
"- Get him off! Get him off! - Patrick, down."
Scrubs
"I'm on a break here. Tell your shiny-headed roommate to shut up,"
Scrubs
"- Who are you talking to? - Rosanna."
Scrubs
"- Hey, Rosanna. - Hi, J.D."
Scrubs
"Dude, what the hell?"
Scrubs
"If it has a camera, I'm so getting one."
Scrubs
"We're just friends!"
Scrubs
"Just friends."
Scrubs
"I was just friends once with a Vietnamese girl."
Scrubs
"He doesn't want to go to a state school."
Scrubs
"Does he know you were being sarcastic?"
Scrubs
"She was a tree person, remember?"
Scrubs
"There's no shame in that."
Scrubs
"but stop what you're doing and focus on me."
Scrubs
"God, I'd love to get with Molly."
Scrubs
"- Nurse Birdie. - Well, you haven't."
Scrubs
"It's like me talking with Rosanna. It boosts my self-esteem,"
Scrubs
"You want to get Elliot, get in good with her best friend."
Scrubs
"Who's Elliot?"
Scrubs
"The way I got my girlfriend in junior high"
Scrubs
"- What's been going on? - I went to India for two weeks."
Scrubs
"We don't pay you to go hide in your office. Get out there on the floor."
Scrubs
"Sweat would be dripping off our naked bodies."
Scrubs
"It's a new band called The Naked Sweat Drips."
Scrubs
"They have a great song called Perfect Breasts."
Scrubs
"And then I got so flexible, I could put my legs behind my head."
Scrubs
"A patient, Kylie. Horrible car accident."
Scrubs
"I can't believe you've been talking to her."
Scrubs
"Damn it."
Scrubs
"Do you mind? I am trying to have a private moment with my man."
Scrubs
"- I got lipstick on you. - No. Leave it."
Scrubs
"- then nothing would get between us. - Going out?"
Scrubs
"Fancy."
Scrubs
"Elliot's got the finger strength of a rock-climbing jazz pianist."
Scrubs
"I gotta tell you there, supercuts,"
Scrubs
"and triathletes come in and drop dead at 20."
Scrubs
"I'm gonna paint your Porsche mint green so it looks like my van's baby."
Scrubs
"So did Dr Cox pay up?"
Scrubs
"in a restaurant tonight at 8."
Scrubs
"They don't work. I can't sit without showing my ass crack."
Scrubs
"I'll explain later. Just lose the extra bitches."
Scrubs
"Carla. Go talk to Turk."
Scrubs
"- Yeah? - Come on. I'll drive you."
Scrubs
"I gotta go to dinner anyway."
Scrubs
"Hey, Turk?"
Scrubs
"College was weird. I was worried about being liked,"
Scrubs
"We broke up at her sorority formal."
Scrubs
"It's tough making new friends in Milwaukee."
Scrubs
"I said control yourself!"
Scrubs
"If people aren't getting to know you, they're missing out."
Scrubs
"- Do you think so? - I do."
Scrubs
"But I didn't do that."
Scrubs
"Wait, why did we just go out if you already have his car?"
Scrubs
"This is so very delicious and filling,"
Scrubs
"I find I'm just a little stuffed."
Scrubs
"You're unbelievable."
Scrubs
"You're the only one around here that treats me like a real person."
Scrubs
"What did you just say?"
Scrubs
"She ate lunch with me until the residents made fun of her."
Scrubs
"They called her "janitor lunch-eater"."
Scrubs
"Anyway,"
Scrubs
"But just pretending for today somehow"
Scrubs
"I actually had a good time."
Scrubs
"I was excited to be with you."
Scrubs
"Why have you stopped lighting incense?"
Scrubs
"I was in trouble. If I didn't play my cards right, I knew what could happen."
Scrubs
"Unfortunately, that's what did happen."
Scrubs
"We can fix that."
Scrubs
"You guys are out. You guys are back in. Where's Margo?"
Scrubs
"I lose my van to him, and I lose Margo to gangster rap."
Scrubs
"Baby, that took, like, 20 seconds. How'd you do that so quickly?"
Scrubs
"It was easy. I told her I was married."
Scrubs
"It's no big deal."
Scrubs
"Kylie and I still hadn't slept together, but I had a feeling"
Scrubs
"I'll bet it's sex cos I don't see a pony."
Scrubs
"It's for your scooter. What are you doing?"
Scrubs
"Nothing, I was just gonna do a little laundry."
Scrubs
"Why is it always about sex with you?"
Scrubs
"Or ab."
Scrubs
"Turk and Carla were having relationship trouble,"
Scrubs
"but they were working on it."
Scrubs
"I don't understand why we can't discuss this after The A-Team."
Scrubs
"A lot of married couples hit roadblocks the first year,"
Scrubs
"but nothing will be resolved if we don't get our issues out in the open."
Scrubs
"- OK, what's bothering me... - Hey, hey! There he is!"
Scrubs
"- Did my buddy hit it and quit it? - Hell, no."
Scrubs
"Excuse me, it's time for my nightly ritual."
Scrubs
"We're trying to have a serious conversation,"
Scrubs
"You know what bothers me?"
Scrubs
"Everything with you becomes a big issue. You make mountains out of molehills."
Scrubs
"Turk! If you can't remember to put the cap on the toothpaste,"
Scrubs
"how are we gonna raise our children?"
Scrubs
"I guess I could work on it a little."
Scrubs
"If the patient is in shock, the first thing we do"
Scrubs
"- What? That's right. - Oh, I know."
Scrubs
"...it's best to start fluid resuscitation..."
Scrubs
"Let's keep moving."
Scrubs
"You know, I don't really appreciate you messing with my lady."
Scrubs
"Your lady?"
Scrubs
"Blonde doctor and I will end up together."
Scrubs
"I'm talking house in the burbs, Volvo, dog-fighting ring in the basement."
Scrubs
"How about my van for your Porsche?"
Scrubs
"I suppose when I win, I could destroy your vehicle and make you watch."
Scrubs
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