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Clips from The Simpsons - The President Wore Pearls (S15E15)

"(SCREAMING) (BRAKES SCREECHING)"
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"(CAMERA MACHINERY WHIRRING)"
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"Finally, they'll teach our kids the dangers of doubling down on a six."
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"Deal. Hit me, hit me, hit me. Busted."
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"My fee for this evening goes to victims of my criminal recidivism."
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"Your Casino Night is a huge success."
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"I got the idea from an episode of Saved by the Bell."
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"Woo-hoo! D'oh! D'oh..."
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"Woo-hoo!"
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"we're getting a PlayStation One."
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"I'd like to cash in these chips."
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"Give me most of it in cash and the rest in suitcases to carry the cash."
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"You don't understand. It's not real money."
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"What?"
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"Didn't anyone read the flyer?"
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"Look at me! I'm a big man!"
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"Martin, in light of this fiasco,"
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"I'll have that milk now."
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"Easy there. That's whole milk."
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"Well, I guess we're gonna need a new student body president."
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"We're looking for Principal Skinner."
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"(HUMMING)"
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"Hey, student body president!"
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"but I do have all the answer keys to every test."
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"I'm doomed."
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"(GIGGLING EFFEMINATELY)"
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"of incremental policy amelioration."
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"Where did you get that tutu?"
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"(SCATTERED COUGH)"
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"Nelson, rebuttal?"
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"(ALL CHEERING)"
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"But I'll never squirm when there's work to be done"
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"Yes, I'll take my lunch at my desk"
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"Don't vote for me kids of Springfield"
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"A vote for Lisa makes you the winner"
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"(SINGING) I am Iron Man!"
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"She's captured their imagination like a bright piece of construction paper."
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"Yes. Well, we've got to find a way to control her."
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"Well, if you ask me, a woman's weakness is her sense of vanity."
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"Hmm. Let's see. When hell freezes over, tough guy."
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"(SINGING) Eyes, pearls, smile hair points, dress, voice shoes, Swatch watch"
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"Purse, lunchbox teeth, Milhouse"
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"This outing up suits me"
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"Then I'd have nice things."
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"and take back the playground from the gypsies."
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"(PLAYING FOLK TUNE)"
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"Oh, that's good..."
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"Oh, hello, Lisa. We were just discussing Vasco da Gama."
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"Well, I have some ideas for ways we can improve the classroom experience."
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"the students grade the teachers on their performance."
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"Lisa, you were elected to be seen and enjoyed."
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"(CHUCKLES)"
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"No. Just standard key release boilerplate."
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"Boy, she'll believe anything."
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"I'll just lock this door."
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"I'm so proud of you, Lisa."
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"What?"
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"(SARCASTICALLY) No, I was being sincere."
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"Lise, Skinner is using you like a pawn on his unholy chess set."
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"Soon we will have the perfect school"
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"I'm so drunk I can barely see"
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"My stomach is filled with haggis and hurt"
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"I've got to go puke in some hay"
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"SEYMOUR: Mmm!"
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"Not a cloud in the sky."
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"A perfect day to unveil Operation S. L.A.A.A.M."
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"They've taken everything. Oh, no."
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"Hello, self-esteem!"
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"(LAUGHS)"
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"I love this job."
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"(ALL GASPING)"
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"Well, you still can!"
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"(SINGING) What have I done?"
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"Skinner betrayed me"
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"And it wasn't exactly San Diego State to begin with."
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"No, don't kiss me."
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"Lisa, student government is meaningless."
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"Look at your constitution. It's written on the back of a place mat."
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"And not a good place mat. It's from someplace called "Doodles.""
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"And for my last act I call a general student strike effective immediately!"
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"Lisa, please help me lure them back. I had to do what I did."
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"Seymour! Quit using me in analogies."
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"What about gym? Meh."
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"Well, couldn't you just hang some colorful crepe paper in the gym?"
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"Remember, boys. These are little kids."
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"Don't you ever feel like the mayor doesn't care about you?"
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"You mean, the mayor who kept me waiting for two hours in that restaurant?"
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"Well, I can't take that rattlesnake out of his mailbox now, now can I?"
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"Yes, Chief, you could."
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"Today professional buttinski Michael Moore arrived on the scene."
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"Kids who don't get to take music and art"
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"and appear in one of my movies."
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"Where did you get that statistic? Your mother!"
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"including the Springfield Goat Milkers,"
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"Ow."
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"Her brother had this to say."
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"Indeed. But that rubber butt doesn't have much time for turning around these days."
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"Well, that's a good idea, too."
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"but I say cut off the head and the body will die."
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"(SINGING) Poor Lisa Poor Lisa"
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"You can't go to that school!"
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"like being an Olympic figure skater?"
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"LISA: Okay!"
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"D'oh!"
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"Oh, boy! Casino night!"
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"I played Candy Land with Maggie and ended up throwing vodka in her face."
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"Aw, Marge. I bet you've gotten that out of your system."
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"Bet? System? Betting system?"
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"God is telling me to gamble!"
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"(PEOPLE PROTESTING) Hey! Hey! Hey!"
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"Welcome to Springfield Elementary Casino Night."
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"So relax, have fun and please God don't piss me off."
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"Thanks, Principal Skinner."
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"I'll put everything on lucky 17."
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"(REPEATING) D'oh!"
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"Woo-hoo! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh..."
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"And the winner is 17!"
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"I win!"
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"This is it, baby. First thing tomorrow,"
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"Ohhh!"
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