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Clips from Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Ted (S02E02)

"- Ow! Ow! Let's move slowly, shall we? - Sorry. OK."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Some night, huh?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You'll love the house. It's furnished just the way you like it. I spent a lot of..."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Telling me what to do!..time decorating."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"They're your size. They're always your size."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Get off me!"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Fine, then. I'll have to cary you."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Buffy, come out! I don't stand for this kind of malarkey in my house!"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"This house is mine,"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Buffy, how about a nice game of Parcheesi?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- I wish I could be so sure. - Trust me. He's on the scrapheap."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- It's so hard to rent one nowadays. - Can we drop it?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"In every generation there is a Chosen One,"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness,"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- You don't know what you're talking about. - Xander, he was in charge."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"He was a puppet. She was using him."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"He didn't seem like the type of guy who would let himself be used."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Who was the real power, the Captain or Tennille?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Um, who are these people?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"No, not thinking. Having a lot of happy not-thoughts."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"And I am really jinxin' the hell out of us by sayin' that."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Yeah, but we'll let you off this time."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"No!"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Uh, I broke a wine glass."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Buffy, this is Ted."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"So, these late nights at the gallery recently. I gather you were cataloguing more than art."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"He sells computer software. He redid my system at the gallery."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Freed up a lot of my time. - To meet new people."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Without the DMA upgrade, it's only half a rocket ship."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"What?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"It's the sound she makes when she's speechless with geeker-joy."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"After you bake it, you fry it in herbs and olive oil, but you gotta use a cast-iron skillet."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You can get 200-300 bucks apiece!"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Hungry? - No, thanks."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Buffy, I want to apologise. That wasn't how I wanted us to meet."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I wanted it to be... perfect."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Well, gosh, that makes you pretty important to me, too."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Buffy, I really want you to be OK with this. - Beg to differ."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- I'm OK. - You are?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I am!"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Buffy, I believe he's, um..."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"It's... staking time, really, don't you think?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- What? I kill vampires. That's my job. - True, true."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Everything all right? - Yeah. Fine."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I killed one here on Wednesday. Why are they in the park?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"In times of crisis, they return to the easiest feeding grounds."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"They run around and kill people and take over your house and make stupid mini-pizzas..."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Uh, Buffy..."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Think there'll be any more? I can wait."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- If you say one more word, things'll get dire. - Did you even bother to taste 'em?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"No! Well, I did. And I'm here to tell ya, those mini-pizzas have changed my life."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Ted is the master chef."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Everything. - You don't like him."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"..seems nice and polite, and my mother likes him."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"There's something too clean about this clown."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"He's a clean clown!"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- I have my own fun. - Buff, you're lacking evidence."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- I think we're in Sigmund Freud territory. - He has a point."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Separation anxiety, the mother figure taken away, conflict with the father figure..."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- He's not my father figure. - Having issues much?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- # You're having parental issues! - Xander..."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Seeing my mother Frenching a guy is a ticket to therapy-land, but it's more than that."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I'm good at sensing things and there is something wrong with this... Ted."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Ted! - Of course. Who'd you think I meant?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- What are you doing here? - Updating the software."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Which reminds me. Your upgrades."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Buffy, do you like miniature golf? - Who doesn't?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Oh, that thing! That thing,"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Hey, we can do that thing any time. I'm tired of doin' that thing. We're on."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Hello, Jenny."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Do you want me to hang on to them?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Yeah, that's fine. I'll send the kids by to pick 'em up."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You should have heard the ones I threw out!"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I've stayed out of mortal danger for three whole weeks."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I'm still having trouble sleeping, though."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Or possibly space. Rupert, I know you're concerned."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"You make me feel bad that I don't feel better."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"..dog eyes at you."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- I'm just... - Worried. I know."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I shouldn't have bothered you."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Mom's like "Will Ted like this? Ted's teachin' me computers.""
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I'm sorry. I just have so much to deal with. I don't need some new guy in my life."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Loneliness is about the scariest thing there is."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"OK, so my mom needs a guy in her life."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Does it have to be Ted? - You have somebody else in mind?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"There's a guy out there that would satisfy you?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"My dad."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Yeah, OK, that's not gonna happen."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Fine, fine. I'll give Ted a chance."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I'll play minigolf and I'll smile and curtsey and be the dutiful daughter."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"That picnic was delicious! It's rare to find a man that cooks."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I know. I've been looking a long time for one!"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Buffy, I bet the boys are lined up around the block trying to get a date with you."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Uh, her studies!"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Book-cracker Buffy. It's kind of her nickname."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I'm glad to hear it. I bet that means your grades will be picking up soon."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- How does he know about my grades? - I told him."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"He wants to know everything about you. He's concerned. That's a good thing."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Oh, bad luck, little lady!"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Oh, we won't count it. - We won't?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- It's just miniature golf. - It is, but the rules are the rules."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"What we teach her is what she takes into the world when we're not there,..."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"..whether it's at school or an unchaperoned party."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I won't overstep my bounds. It's between you and your mother."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I just think right is right."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Hey, how about that? Got a hole in two!"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"OK, so fine my score or whatever."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Right is right. Wrong is wrong. Why don't people see that?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- It's just a game? - Right, it's just a game, do your own thing."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Well, I'm not wired that way. And I'm here to tell you..."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Yummy! - Cookies!"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Good morning, sunshine. - Hey."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I've got juice, I've got sticky buns. Don't they smell good? Ted made them."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- What kind of an attitude is that? - I know you think he's great..."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- It's not like men beat down the door... - ..when you're a single parent."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I don't understand why you can't see that."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- He caught you cheating, didn't he? - Yeah, I kicked my ball in. Put me in jail."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- But he totally wigged. - Did he say anything in front of the others?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Investigate him. Find out his secrets."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Buffy, it just seems like you want him to be corrupt or something."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
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