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Clips from Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Ted (S02E02)

"She is the Slayer,"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I love it when things are quiet around here."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"With Spike and Drusilla out of the way, we've really been ridin' the mellow!"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- You're loving playing nursemaid? - Oh, yeah."
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"Well, I've been looking for the right moment to introduce you two. He's a wonderful man."
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"- I like my new nine-gig hard drive. - But you don't love it."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Yeah, but who can afford the upgrades? - You can."
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"- No room for compromise there. - You should market these things."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I'm very fond of your mother. I guess that's pretty obvious."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"We really want you to be OK with this."
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"You don't usually beat them into quite such a pulp beforehand."
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"They're scattered, you know? Their leaders are gone, with any luck dead."
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"Vampires are creeps."
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"Yes, that's why one slays them."
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"People are perfectly happy getting along, then vampires come."
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"I believe the subtext here is rapidly becoming a... a text."
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"- Sure there's nothing you want to share? - No. Forget it."
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"Fine. He's a good cook. What does that really tell you?"
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"I don't know him. So far all I see is someone who apparently has a good job,..."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"What kind of a monster is he?"
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"- I am not! - # You're having parental issues!"
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"Freud would have said the exact same thing."
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"- He might not have done that little dance. - OK, I admit it's weird."
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"- Well... - I'm making a picnic basket."
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"Rupert. Hi."
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"Some of your textbooks were delivered to the library."
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"Right. Good."
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"Pretty flimsy excuse for comin' by to see me."
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"I'm doin' pretty good, actually."
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"I'm sorry. I certainly don't mean to make..."
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"- I'm sorry if I don't talk about Ted all day! - So you're gonna talk about somethin' else?"
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"No? Maybe your mom does."
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"Ha! So many have come, so few have conquered."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"- Not really. - Oh, they are, but she's only interested in..."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Ooh, nice shot, Ted!"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Beg to differ."
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"I think you're missing the point here, little lady."
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"..it is not a game, it does count, and I don't stand for that kind of malarkey in my house!"
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"Do you want me to slap that smart-ass mouth of yours?"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"Who's up for dessert? I made chocolate-chip cookies!"
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"Yeah, I made too many, so you guys are gonna have to take some home."
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"You love him?"
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"That just slipped out... But I guess."
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"- He threatened me. - What?"
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"He threatened me. He said that he was gonna slap my face."
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"He said no such thing. Honey, Ted told me what happened."
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"- No, but I don't think that's... - I thought that was pretty decent of him."
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"Speaking of which, he's making dinner for us tonight, so I'd like you home promptly at six."
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"- Can you say "overreaction"? - Can you say "sucking chest wound"?"
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"- The guy lost his senses over minigolf. - Being a little uptight isn't a slaying offence."
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"- Not really. - What are you saying?"
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"Would you guys excuse me for a sec?"
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"Please! It's too traumatic for me to even say it!"
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"I'm not gonna tell. They're not gonna know. Not your friends, not my friends."
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"- Wanna go to the utility room and make out? - God, is that all you ever think about?"
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"- Mom's been different since he was around. - Different like happy?"
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"No, Mrs Lansdale, it is not an inexpensive piece of software."
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"Of course, if you prefer something cheap, I can always recommend..."
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"I'm B... Linda. Belinda."
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"Wow! That guy's a salesman. He's the one to beat around here."
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"Nobody beats the Machine. The guy is a genius."
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"He's just got a girlfriend. I'm amazed he let her clutter his desk."
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"..and we ask that you bless this house and help the people in it to be more productive,..."
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"..more considerate and more honest."
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"Well, another great day at work. How was school today, Buffy? Did you learn anything?"
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"- Well, Joycie, what do you think? - Every home should have one of you."
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"And if things go the way I hope,..."
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"How would you feel about that?"
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"I'm not going anywhere."
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"- May I be excused? - You can go to your room, young lady."
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"Ted, I am so embarrassed. I don't know what's wrong with her."
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"Joycie, you don't get to be salesman of the year by giving up after a couple of rejections."
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"Vampires!"
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"She didn't mean climb out a window and go gallivanting."
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"I don't see how it's different from you snooping around my office."
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"- I think you'd better get out of here. Now! - Or what? You'll slay me?"
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"That's mine, and you are not leaving this room with it."
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"Your relationship with the deceased?"
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"He fell."
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"He fell. Hard."
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"- And it's the truth. - It was an accident."
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"I'm the Slayer. I had no right to hit him like that."
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"Look, Buffy, I don't know what happened exactly, but I do know you."
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"I know you would never hurt anyone intentionally. Unless..."
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"Buffy!"
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"Um, I..."
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"I sometimes like things that are not good for me."
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"- Nice Uncle Ted was dirty. - We've gotta prove that somehow."
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"You should know, since you helped raise that demon that killed a guy."
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"So, Giles, you takin' over tonight?"
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"- ..there is no Slayer. - If you need help..."
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"No, Buffy needs your help more than I. Cary on investigating."
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"Find out as much about this Buchanan chap as possible."
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"Be careful."
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"I will."
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"We'll work it out. No worries."
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"It's done."
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"- I didn't mean to hurt him. - I don't wanna talk about this."
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"It also shares a few components with ecstasy."
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"That's the cookies talkin', but you rock!"
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"Your search finally hit pay dirt."
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"- I get that reaction from men all the time! - Jenny, what are you doing here?"
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"- Now's not the best time... - No, please, let me just get this out."
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"Imagine how I must... feel now."
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"To hell with this!"
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"She nailed it shut."
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"Do we have something to say about that? Are we sorry?"
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"I'm sorry. I know you didn't mean to..."
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"- Joyce? - Ted!"
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"An intern found me. It's a miracle, Joyce."
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"You don't have to worry about Buffy. Don't worry about anything. Daddy's here."
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"Feels like home... if it's the fifties and you're a psycho."
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"- What's in there? - His first four wives."
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"I couldn't go into that light. I had to come back for you."
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"- You should sit down. - I feel fine. Never better."
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"I'm sorry, I just..."
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"I'm going to make things right. Then you and I..."
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"Oh, God. I am so sorry."
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"No, really, I don't think it went in too deep."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"The advantages of layers of tweed. It's better than Kevlar."
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
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