Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from American Dad! - Of Ice and Men (S02E02)

"but it was the regionals and I wanted to win more than anything."
American Dad!
"I had to pull out all the stops."
American Dad!
"You suck!"
American Dad!
"She never skated again."
American Dad!
"Oh, God, Stan. That's horrible."
American Dad!
"But it was an accident. That doesn't make you a monster."
American Dad!
"Having bulbous eyes and leathery skin and scary teeth makes you a monster."
American Dad!
"loneliness."
American Dad!
"Fun? Does it look like fun to speed and twirl about the ice..."
American Dad!
"to your favorite song in a magnificent costume?"
American Dad!
"You won't hurt me! Come on. Isn't it time we spent one winter together?"
American Dad!
"Well-All right, let's do it!"
American Dad!
"First thing we,ll need to do is raise $80 to buy you a costume."
American Dad!
"Oh. Okay then."
American Dad!
"It was their first real winter together, and she was truly happy"
American Dad!
"That was the old me, Lacey. Now that I have Svetlana..."
American Dad!
"your discarded Q-tips have lost their allure."
American Dad!
"Thanks to Francine, Stan was no longer haunted by his past..."
American Dad!
"Klaus, your scales are especially shiny today, my friend."
American Dad!
"Thank you for noticing."
American Dad!
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. You were a fish?"
American Dad!
"Oh, yeah, that. But Stan, he was a new man, and he-"
American Dad!
"Hold on a second. You were a fish."
American Dad!
"Don't you think that's a better story than two grown-ups ice-skating?"
American Dad!
"I was also roommates with Rick Schroder. You want to hear about that?"
American Dad!
"- Yeah! - Okay."
American Dad!
"Rick Schroder sucks. Hejust- He-"
American Dad!
"He just sucks. He sucks so hard."
American Dad!
"Rick Schroder uses women. The end."
American Dad!
"Francine, wife order DirecTV now..."
American Dad!
"we get The Tennis Channel for just pennies a day!"
American Dad!
"- And Shirley's standing by to help us! - Forget it."
American Dad!
"Shirley? What did you do?"
American Dad!
"It's so nice to finally spend a normal winter with my husband."
American Dad!
"I always thought people ice-skated to escape their haunted pasts."
American Dad!
"Snoopy wasn't running from a painful memory."
American Dad!
"because I entered us in a little couples competition down at the rink."
American Dad!
"Yeah. Fun."
American Dad!
"- I can't skate in this competition. - Oh, yeah."
American Dad!
"Francine told me all about your partner's injury. But you,re past that."
American Dad!
"No one ever does."
American Dad!
"My partner was down. But a little fall wasn't going to destroy my dream."
American Dad!
"I probably should have taken her to the hospital.."
American Dad!
"with the National Figure Skating Association."
American Dad!
"Here. We can jam out to this."
American Dad!
"Warner Books On Tape presents..."
American Dad!
"John Houseman reading Elements of Style."
American Dad!
"Chapter One."
American Dad!
"Forming the possessive singular of nouns..."
American Dad!
"- by adding apostrophe "S " - All right!"
American Dad!
"But it was all for nothing. The association refused to change our score."
American Dad!
"Wow, Stan, you have a real problem with competition."
American Dad!
"You,re right. I,m not gonna put my wife's life in danger just for a set of wigs."
American Dad!
"- Come again? - The prize is a lousy set of wigs."
American Dad!
"- The prize is a set of wigs? - Yes."
American Dad!
"Wigs you,d probably just put in the attic and never check on to see if anyone..."
American Dad!
"- Exactly. - Stan, you,ve got to skate in this competition-"
American Dad!
"for Francine."
American Dad!
"- She hasn't been this happy in ages. - But y-you just said I shouldn't."
American Dad!
"That was a test! You failed! God, you,re selfish!"
American Dad!
"Bad Stan! I don't know. I like it both ways."
American Dad!
"And so Stan fought his competitive urges..."
American Dad!
"And now give me an R.B.O. Choctaw!"
American Dad!
"I,m sorry. Is that the one where-"
American Dad!
"It's a simple footwork sequence going from your right outer edge skating backward..."
American Dad!
"to your left inner edge skating forward!"
American Dad!
"She's as graceful as a frozen turd."
American Dad!
"Don't worry, babies. Help is on the way."
American Dad!
"Can you guys believe it? We,re about to skinny-dip with Svetlana."
American Dad!
"- I,ve never seen a naked woman before. - There's no shame in that, Snot."
American Dad!
"about the naked lady who drove me home from the library..."
American Dad!
"Boys are ready?"
American Dad!
"Come on, Sveti! Ditch the suit!"
American Dad!
"Marriage is business contract. I must protect my interests."
American Dad!
"- Where did you hear that garbage? - It'snot garbage"
American Dad!
"I found her living in your closet, Steve. She's a Russian bride, not a Russian whore."
American Dad!
"She doesn't have to act like a whore until one of you marries her."
American Dad!
"But you,re not married, and you,re a total whore!"
American Dad!
"That's because I was born in America!"
American Dad!
"Well, Snot wins. I guess hejust wanted it more."
American Dad!
",Cause that's how long it takes to grow the guts figure-skating demands!"
American Dad!
"God, Stan! It's not the Olympics."
American Dad!
"It's not about winning. It's all about fun."
American Dad!
"We,re gonna take first place for sure."
American Dad!
"We don't have a chance!"
American Dad!
"You,re-You,re magnificent."
American Dad!
"- Hello. - Roger!"
American Dad!
"You really haven't read my My Space page, have you?"
American Dad!
"Help me up, Stan."
American Dad!
"Okay She's just gonna sit there. That's okay This is her issue, her drama."
American Dad!
"Okay we'remaking the turn. We're heading back. just stay focused Don't look at her."
American Dad!
"Oh, should I trip over her? Would that be funny? Or would that be mean?"
American Dad!
"Funny or mean? Funny or mean?Stan?"
American Dad!
"This is the first time in 20 winters we,ve done anything together!"
American Dad!
"And now you,re dumping me to skate with Roger? Why, Stan? Why?"
American Dad!
"- Well, honey, I- - I,ll tell you why!"
American Dad!
"Yes, thank you. That would have sounded awful coming out of my mouth."
American Dad!
"Well, now that's settled, how about we watch some skating tapes?"
American Dad!
"I,ve got Hartshorn and Sweiding debuting their "Mustang Sally... routine in Berlin."
American Dad!
"God, really? Hey, how's the slow motion on your machine?"
American Dad!
",Cause we could watch it in our bedroom."
American Dad!
"Stop, stop, stop! You do know the competition's tomorrow, don't you?"
American Dad!
"- Don't I do a salchow right there? - You call that a salchow?"
American Dad!
"It looks like you have mad salchow disease!"
American Dad!
"That's right. Your skating has a spongiform encephalopathy, bitch!"
American Dad!
"More friend than hairpiece. I thank you."
American Dad!
"Oh, great. Sliced it. Are you even there?"
American Dad!
"Oh, seems like just yesterday you popped out of that box..."
American Dad!
"and I was planning to have sex with you."
American Dad!
"Baby, you,re gonna shine tonight- shine the stars down from heaven."
American Dad!
"- There. How do I look? - Great."
American Dad!
"That's because they practically are spirits."
American Dad!
"Mmm."
American Dad!
"Hey! Maybe the score is not important to them!"
American Dad!
"You can't do this to me! You can't leave me here!"
American Dad!
"Everyone's looking! Everyone's looking!"
American Dad!
"Can you keep it down? Huh? No one's looking at you."
American Dad!
"We,re trying to watch the skating here."
American Dad!
"Hey, buddy. You want to ride inside the bus?"
American Dad!
"I,m coming for you, Francine!"
American Dad!
Show more clips