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Clips from Parks and Recreation (2009) - Emergency Response (S05E05)

"or a bunch of greasy lard bombs."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'm not editorializing."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Paunch Burger's number-one-selling burger"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Just give me a hint as to which way you guys are leaning."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Off the record? We're leaning towards Jamm."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Hey, get the rest of the money,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"you get your park."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You only have a week."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"What are we going to do, guys?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Registering for your wedding"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"is the most important moment of your lives."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Love-- love fades away."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Things are forever. - That's beautiful."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Did the Dalai Lama say that?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Ooh! A citrus reamer!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Oh, this is the only way to ream citrus."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- You're gonna need two of these. - I don't want a citrus reamer."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Look, all I want is to be married to you"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and to somehow get $50,000."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Hey, hang on."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"We could organize a black-tie gala"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and maybe a silent auction to raise money."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"like benches, cobblestones,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"trees, ants, air."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Right, some of that is possible."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- You are a genius. Let's go. - Okay."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Hey, guys."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'm really feeling these sheets--very cozy."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I just want to say thank you for all your hard work this week."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You just told us to applaud."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Well, if I told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I hope so, because the only way that this gala is going to happen"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"is if you do everything I say."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Tom, I need you to contact"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"three more food vendors on this list,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and they need to do it for free."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I get it, and I love it,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"but I don't have time for food puns right now."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Okay, I'm heading out. Good-pie."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Go."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Gurt. Go-gurt. I'm incredible."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- See you guys. - Okay. Donna, Jerry--"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Leslie, we need you back at the command center right now!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"We have a class-one city emergency."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"My girls!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"but I am having so much fun pretending it's real."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Each year every city in Indiana is reviewed"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And Pawnee has failed 12 years in a row."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"On last year's report, they stated,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
""Every time it so much as drizzles in Pawnee,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
""the town is in danger of collapsing"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"into Thunderdome-style, post-apocalyptic mayhem.""
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Okay, we don't know how long Leslie's going to be gone,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"so let's just knock some of this stuff off."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Should someone stop Jerry?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"First, we do the written exam,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"which I feel like I'm gonna nail, 'cause people always say,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Okay, what does it mean when an officer calls in a 3542?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Assault and battery. The way I remember that,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I picture 35 a-salt shakers and 42 batteries."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Arson is 533."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You know how I remember that? I picture 533 salt shakers and batteries"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"lighting a building on fire."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Oh, I'm nervous."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You are going to pass this test, and you are going to become a cop."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And if you don't, I'll just divorce you"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and marry someone else"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Also, I got you a lucky charm."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I found a dead rabbit on the side of the road,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Baby, you are so creepy."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Dwyer, you're up."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'm head of the Indiana Department of Emergency Preparedness."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And today I'm going to bring"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I am Leslie Knope. I am the Pawnee Emergency Czar."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And this year, we are more than prepared for your test,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Good, because the best day for a drill is when it's inconvenient for everyone."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"My mother is getting a colonoscopy today."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'm not even sure there's anyone there to drive her home,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"so we're all making sacrifices, Ms. Knope."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Well, I'm very sorry to hear about your mother."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Oh. Good."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Okay, volunteer victims,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"please put your identification placards on now"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and go to your designated areas throughout town."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"First Responders, return to your stations,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and the simulation begins..."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"N-n-n..."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Okay, now."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"All right, officers, bolt the doors."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"We are officially in lockdown mode."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"The doors will not open until Leonard announces that this drill is complete."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"The most important event that I have ever organized in my entire life"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"is happening in eight hours, and I am stuck in this room."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"This is a nightmare."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Wait. Maybe this is a nightmare."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Nope, can't fly away."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And now, I'm going to open one of these ten envelopes at random"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- "The Knope Protocol"? - Uh, correction."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"That's "Mission Im-Pawnee-able: Knope Protocol.""
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Now, if everyone just follows my instructions,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"we will ace this test, and we will be done in 90 minutes."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
""Step one-- insert the DVD scenario.""
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Hmm, what could be on this?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Willow Tremaine, with breaking news."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"We go live now to St. Joseph's Medical Center for an update."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Hello, my name is"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Donatella Breckinridge, M.D. I graduated"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"first in my class from Harvard Medical School,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"so I know what I'm talking about."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"This is the avian flu, or we call "H5N1.""
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Donna, are we on schedule for the tent setup?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"but there are no chairs, which is bad."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Great leadership-- inspiring."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- to promote the gala. - I'll do it."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Fair point. I did cry last time."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Godspeed."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Mmm! Smells amazing, Chef. What you cooking?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You can stop the ass-kissing, Haverford."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"It doesn't make business sense"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Please. If the gala doesn't go perfectly,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
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