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Clips from Silicon Valley - The Uptick (S03E03)

"of the sale of Pied Piper to the current high bidder."
Silicon Valley
"Three yes votes will approve the sale."
Silicon Valley
"- I'm not doing it. - Oh, Monica, not again."
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"I'm sorry, but look, Richard has worked too hard"
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"and I know that I can't stop it, but I'm not gonna vote"
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"to let Pied Piper become the property of that asshole."
Silicon Valley
"Monica, I also happen to find him contemptible."
Silicon Valley
"You want to fire me, fire me."
Silicon Valley
"If we're not gonna adhere to the values that"
Silicon Valley
"Excuse me! Man!"
Silicon Valley
"- Everybody's been super ni... - Sit."
Silicon Valley
"You are now officially on the board of directors of Pied Piper."
Silicon Valley
"Oh, okay. That's fine I guess."
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"When I point to you, you will vote yes."
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"I vote yes."
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"Evan?"
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"Because..."
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"Monica?"
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"And I could never do anything to make you sad."
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"Oh, for fuck's sake! Do I have to pull the receptionist in here?"
Silicon Valley
"How does this compare with a typical board meeting?"
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"We all know how this is gonna go,"
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"so let's just get it over with."
Silicon Valley
"All right?"
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"Um, I vote yes. There."
Silicon Valley
"Okay? I approve the sale."
Silicon Valley
"Three yes votes. Can this please just be done?"
Silicon Valley
"Very well."
Silicon Valley
"are now officially the property of Bachmanity, LLC."
Silicon Valley
"Wait, sorry, did..."
Silicon Valley
"did you just say Bachmanity?"
Silicon Valley
"As in Erlich Bachman and Nelson Bighetti?"
Silicon Valley
"entering a bid of one million and one dollars with a firm no-shop clause."
Silicon Valley
"So when you were referring to the person who bought Pied Piper"
Silicon Valley
"as a contemptible asshole, you were talking about Erlich?"
Silicon Valley
"To which contemptible asshole did you think I was referring?"
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"Gavin Belson."
Silicon Valley
"Oh."
Silicon Valley
"I see. No."
Silicon Valley
"This meeting is adjourned."
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"I thank you all for your time."
Silicon Valley
"That's good."
Silicon Valley
"You and Big Head, huh?"
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"Um..."
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"sorry you had to cancel your trip."
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"And look, I... I really appreciate all this."
Silicon Valley
"I don't know if you've seen the numbers."
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"You want a number? The percentage I give a fuck about you, zero."
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"It's trending steady."
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"And of course I've seen the numbers."
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"This is a business opportunity."
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"Nothing more. Big Head was your friend."
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"And it's gonna take a long, long, long time"
Silicon Valley
"to regain my trust."
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"Are we clear?"
Silicon Valley
"Always blue! Always blue!"
Silicon Valley
"Always blue! Always blue!"
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"I can't believe this is happening, you guys."
Silicon Valley
"but the best part of it is it's us, you know?"
Silicon Valley
"No, the best part of it is I own 50%."
Silicon Valley
"um, you and Big Head do own the entire company,"
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"so I'm assuming I'm getting my original shares back, right?"
Silicon Valley
"Why would you assume that?"
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"Well, when a tech company reboots,"
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"Good, 'cause I'm the guy that hacked together the video chat app"
Silicon Valley
"to see if that woman was hot, so..."
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"Yeah, but it's not gonna scale until I get in there and scrape all the Dinesh off."
Silicon Valley
"Why do we want to change the name? It's great."
Silicon Valley
"Yeah, and we do already have the jackets."
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"Erlich Bachman, this is you as an old man."
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"I'm ugly and I'm dead. Alone."
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"I'm gonna let him have this one."
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"well, I'm sorry to hear that, Future Me."
Silicon Valley
"What a terrible thing."
Silicon Valley
"I'll talk to you in several years."
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"- Always blue! - Always blue!"
Silicon Valley
"How does an elephant just die?"
Silicon Valley
"but... but I could call in a personal favor"
Silicon Valley
"There."
Silicon Valley
"Because Hoover sure didn't think so."
Silicon Valley
"Right."
Silicon Valley
"And so is this."
Silicon Valley
"and, uh, well, I noticed something."
Silicon Valley
"and it just... it had to be you."
Silicon Valley
"I mean, I swear to god,"
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"Yeah. That."
Silicon Valley
"which I hear is delicious but not too heavy,"
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"It's all that they do want to know."
Silicon Valley
"It was like I was Bobby Fischer if he could really fuck."
Silicon Valley
"I spend the next 20 minutes denying calls from Jim Goetz,"
Silicon Valley
"a Series B round of $6 million"
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"- Are there any wine coolers? - I'll talk to him."
Silicon Valley
"I... I'll talk to him."
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"Fake, paid for,"
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"one person in Bangladesh pretending to be 6,000."
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"Oh, no."
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"and we're not saying it did,"
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"in platforms such as Pied Piper."
Silicon Valley
"Richard, don't weaponize my faith in you against me."
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"To Coleman Blair! Let's close this fucker."
Silicon Valley
"Leave all the talking to me."
Silicon Valley
"And if you mention my Montblanc,"
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"But do."
Silicon Valley
"Uh, Monica, it's, uh... it's kind of a long story."
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"Richard, do not..."
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"It's very exciting."
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"Oh, sure, Richard."
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"- No, no, no, no. - It's no problem."
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"Thank you. Very generous of you."
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"What?"
Silicon Valley
"But the... the vid chat..."
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"every VC in the Valley knows about this."
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"Richard Hendricks, huh?"
Silicon Valley
"Is Richard here? I heard what happened,"
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"Odd, considering who wrote the code for it."
Silicon Valley
"For what it's worth, Richard,"
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"That will have to be for literally nothing"
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"- Sorry? - Pied Piper."
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"I'd like to be the one to drive the final nail"
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"Make it..."
Silicon Valley
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