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Clips from Silicon Valley - The Uptick (S03E03)

"Who gives a fuck about the elephant?"
Silicon Valley
"What about me?"
Silicon Valley
"He weighs 9,000 pounds."
Silicon Valley
"Cut it up."
Silicon Valley
"and get a helo crew out of Travis AFB"
Silicon Valley
"with a Sikorsky Skycrane to airlift it out"
Silicon Valley
"I mean, I just found my footing again,"
Silicon Valley
"over some fucking elephant?"
Silicon Valley
"when he handed out live bunnies as plush toys."
Silicon Valley
"It was badness."
Silicon Valley
"Patrice, I thank you for your honesty,"
Silicon Valley
"I honestly never want to see you in my offices again."
Silicon Valley
"- Scramble that Skycrane. - Yes, sir."
Silicon Valley
"Please, uh, come in."
Silicon Valley
"I won't take a lot of your time."
Silicon Valley
"I promise."
Silicon Valley
"Would you like some tea?"
Silicon Valley
"You know what? I have a box of..."
Silicon Valley
"You know?"
Silicon Valley
"Almost all of our new users"
Silicon Valley
"the day after that and that's it."
Silicon Valley
"And then I remembered our conversation in the bathtub,"
Silicon Valley
"No. You... you had good intentions, Jared."
Silicon Valley
"Honestly, don't give it another thought."
Silicon Valley
"Just, you know..."
Silicon Valley
"you and I right now are the only ones that know about it."
Silicon Valley
"We have a secret."
Silicon Valley
"Hey, guys. What's going on?"
Silicon Valley
"Richard, sit down. I did it."
Silicon Valley
"but he stone-faces me."
Silicon Valley
"is rising, everybody else thinks that it's plummeting,"
Silicon Valley
"- What did you say? - I don't know. I can't remember."
Silicon Valley
"But I walk over and I see McNamee's having the short rib,"
Silicon Valley
"and then I say to him,"
Silicon Valley
"if you want to eat here."
Silicon Valley
"- Uh, how's that relevant? - It's not."
Silicon Valley
"All they know is that I'm over there"
Silicon Valley
"and about what, they don't know."
Silicon Valley
"And then, it settles in."
Silicon Valley
"I could see every move I was going to make 12 steps ahead."
Silicon Valley
"to Graylock, I check in on Instagram,"
Silicon Valley
"I jack off a little bit. I don't cum."
Silicon Valley
"And then it snowballs."
Silicon Valley
"And because of that, the big kahuna bites."
Silicon Valley
"I cum."
Silicon Valley
"was this beautiful little uptick."
Silicon Valley
"This is a big day!"
Silicon Valley
"Here's my Hooli badge."
Silicon Valley
"on my rear-view mirror for the parking structure."
Silicon Valley
"Can I just mail that in?"
Silicon Valley
"Gotta keep the party going, you know?"
Silicon Valley
"- Oh, it's unreal. - Yeah."
Silicon Valley
"Okay. Um..."
Silicon Valley
"I don't want to know a fucking thing."
Silicon Valley
"But if something did happen,"
Silicon Valley
"Gilfoyle, have you seen my flash drive?"
Silicon Valley
"done by certain regulatory bodies."
Silicon Valley
"It also had photos of my auntie."
Silicon Valley
"Okay, fine. Well, whatever you did"
Silicon Valley
"Fuck."
Silicon Valley
"Deng, let's pick this up tomorrow."
Silicon Valley
"CJ."
Silicon Valley
"That's preposterous."
Silicon Valley
"to find out what that means."
Silicon Valley
"Are you guys out raising money from someone else?"
Silicon Valley
"Erlich put all this together. I really had nothing to do with it."
Silicon Valley
"Gentlemen."
Silicon Valley
"So listen, we're pumped, guys."
Silicon Valley
"We're thrilled to be getting into Pied Piper"
Silicon Valley
"- Richard. - Hm?"
Silicon Valley
"Uh, you can use my Montblanc."
Silicon Valley
"What would you say if I told you that"
Silicon Valley
"It's not that far. I don't mind."
Silicon Valley
"Neal is in a blue Kia Sportage and he's right around the corner."
Silicon Valley
"but I'm willing to go up to seven million on 70."
Silicon Valley
"Bravo, Richard. Nice neg."
Silicon Valley
"Just so you're clear,"
Silicon Valley
"You can if you want, but we still need his signature."
Silicon Valley
"Richard, sign it."
Silicon Valley
"What? What do you mean?"
Silicon Valley
"deal for Pied Piper because I believe in them?"
Silicon Valley
"You're saying you wanted me to..."
Silicon Valley
"before you paraded me around the whole fucking valley"
Silicon Valley
"and sign that piece of paper."
Silicon Valley
"We would have fixed it afterwards."
Silicon Valley
"Prick."
Silicon Valley
"- Hey. - Oh, hey, Monica."
Silicon Valley
"with you again in the future."
Silicon Valley
"It's good to know. Guys, thanks."
Silicon Valley
"Fuck, now the vid chat's fucking up."
Silicon Valley
"How is that possible? We only gave it to like 12 people."
Silicon Valley
"Well, I really appreciate it."
Silicon Valley
"She's forcing a sale."
Silicon Valley
"Fuck."
Silicon Valley
"Yeah, frick."
Silicon Valley
"and, you know, between the fraudulent numbers"
Silicon Valley
"Jesus! Are you okay?"
Silicon Valley
"Look at this. There are 157 people"
Silicon Valley
"She knows 400 Satanists in Boston?"
Silicon Valley
"Speaking of, I'm actually using"
Silicon Valley
"with the idea for a little product called the Lisa."
Silicon Valley
"You know Jack, of course."
Silicon Valley
"Um, Gavin, can we address the elephant in the room?"
Silicon Valley
"Right. Yes, of course."
Silicon Valley
"You said it yourself,"
Silicon Valley
"I believe that is a joke."
Silicon Valley
"A million dollars?"
Silicon Valley
"Is that what you're telling me? Goddamn it."
Silicon Valley
"Not that it matters."
Silicon Valley
"Hey, uh, so thank you for, uh..."
Silicon Valley
"So, uh, when's your dad coming to pick you up?"
Silicon Valley
"to keep an eye on me and my money"
Silicon Valley
"See ya."
Silicon Valley
"and... and essentially meaningless,"
Silicon Valley
"Good day, all. This should be brief."
Silicon Valley
"- it seems... - I'm sorry. I..."
Silicon Valley
"But Pied Piper will be sold to the high bidder, period."
Silicon Valley
"I'm not voting yes. Very well. You're off the board."
Silicon Valley
"Now, I move to vote on the sale of Pied Piper."
Silicon Valley
"I vote yes."
Silicon Valley
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