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Clips from Silicon Valley - The Uptick (S03E03)

"- Sign it now! - I can't."
Silicon Valley
"Why the fuck not?"
Silicon Valley
"- What do you... - We bought..."
Silicon Valley
"fake users from a Bangladeshi click farm."
Silicon Valley
"The uptick was fake."
Silicon Valley
"Erlich, the fake users were just meant to cheer the guys up."
Silicon Valley
"I had no idea you were gonna take those numbers..."
Silicon Valley
"And what, and go do my fucking job?"
Silicon Valley
"Pour everything I had into getting the best possible"
Silicon Valley
"Well, that's all over now."
Silicon Valley
"Richard, we are fucked!"
Silicon Valley
"If I signed those term sheets, I would be committing fraud."
Silicon Valley
"That's a fucking crime!"
Silicon Valley
"No, I wanted you to fucking think about that"
Silicon Valley
"to sell your lie!"
Silicon Valley
"And then suddenly grew a thick, girthy conscience"
Silicon Valley
"and fucked me with it."
Silicon Valley
"Are you Richard?"
Silicon Valley
"- Did you order an Uber? - Oh. No."
Silicon Valley
"All you had to do was keep your fucking mouth shut"
Silicon Valley
"But you didn't. You caked your pants."
Silicon Valley
"No, better yet, you caked my pants."
Silicon Valley
"Fuck you, Richard Hendricks."
Silicon Valley
"Fuck you."
Silicon Valley
"but he's not answering any of my calls."
Silicon Valley
"We just wanted you to know for the record"
Silicon Valley
"that we had no idea any of that stuff was going on."
Silicon Valley
"Still trying to wrap our heads around it."
Silicon Valley
"Point is, don't beat yourself up about not seeing it."
Silicon Valley
"I'm not beating myself up..."
Silicon Valley
"I hope you don't think we're guilty by association,"
Silicon Valley
"because then we would have to think you're guilty by association, which we don't."
Silicon Valley
"Just want to let you know that we would definitely work"
Silicon Valley
"Um... is he in his room?"
Silicon Valley
"I mean, he said he was."
Silicon Valley
"But..."
Silicon Valley
"I'm gonna go to his room."
Silicon Valley
"Mm-hmm."
Silicon Valley
"Uh, what's up, Gleb?"
Silicon Valley
"I hear, uh, Richard shit bed, huh?"
Silicon Valley
"So, the platform is no goo-oo-oo-oo..."
Silicon Valley
"Well, there's a few more than that using it now."
Silicon Valley
"Holy shit."
Silicon Valley
"I think you did the right thing."
Silicon Valley
"And I can see now why you didn't want to come to us for funding."
Silicon Valley
"You were trying to protect us."
Silicon Valley
"Yeah."
Silicon Valley
"Uh, Laurie wants out."
Silicon Valley
"Even a whiff of fraud is a mortal sin for VCs."
Silicon Valley
"She needs to wash her hands of any Pied Piper business."
Silicon Valley
"Yeah."
Silicon Valley
"But it is an open auction,"
Silicon Valley
"and the real numbers,"
Silicon Valley
"you guys aren't exactly killing it out there."
Silicon Valley
"So, there is a chance that no one will bid"
Silicon Valley
"and you might be able to buy back your own company"
Silicon Valley
"because we're out of money."
Silicon Valley
"Ow!"
Silicon Valley
"All right, I spun together a few more servers."
Silicon Valley
"That should handle the traffic."
Silicon Valley
"using it near Gleb."
Silicon Valley
"And 400 people using it near Tara in Boston."
Silicon Valley
"Yeah, I told her to give it to her Satanist friends out there."
Silicon Valley
"Looks like she did."
Silicon Valley
"my video chat app was a piece of shit"
Silicon Valley
"and that nobody would ever use it?"
Silicon Valley
"Wow, and you developed that with the Pied Piper IP, right?"
Silicon Valley
"Well, then you can kiss that goodbye."
Silicon Valley
"Oh, fuck."
Silicon Valley
"the first dollars of my blog windfall"
Silicon Valley
"on a trip to Kainchi Dham Ashram"
Silicon Valley
"in Nainital, India,"
Silicon Valley
"Good luck."
Silicon Valley
"Richard, I'll expect you off the premises"
Silicon Valley
"by end of day."
Silicon Valley
"Monica."
Silicon Valley
"- I'll see you later. - Okay."
Silicon Valley
"You know, you can stay here for one year. Free rent."
Silicon Valley
"Jian-Yang!"
Silicon Valley
"Ah. Gavin."
Silicon Valley
"That is correct."
Silicon Valley
"Your Maleant dealings demonstrate that you're still pursuing a middle-out."
Silicon Valley
"our compression play is thriving."
Silicon Valley
"Fair enough."
Silicon Valley
"Even if I buy it just to throw it in the garbage,"
Silicon Valley
"in the Hendricks coffin."
Silicon Valley
"I'll give you..."
Silicon Valley
"$900 for it?"
Silicon Valley
"You know what? I like nice, round numbers."
Silicon Valley
"a million?"
Silicon Valley
"Gavin Belson gets to buy Pied Piper for $1 million"
Silicon Valley
"and Raviga gets all of it because of their liquidation preference"
Silicon Valley
"and I get jack shit?"
Silicon Valley
"I know this is the last way that you wanted it to end."
Silicon Valley
"I'm really sorry."
Silicon Valley
"Yeah, well, I... I'll see you at the meeting."
Silicon Valley
"Is that Hooli-Chat?"
Silicon Valley
"They fix it or something?"
Silicon Valley
"- That didn't look shitty at all. - Actually, it's... it's ours."
Silicon Valley
"I can send you an invite if you want."
Silicon Valley
"Yeah. Cool. Thanks."
Silicon Valley
"Oh, shit! 7K now."
Silicon Valley
"Wow, we should have been focusing on this instead."
Silicon Valley
"I mean, it's all gonna be property of Gavin Belson in an hour, so."
Silicon Valley
"That's ironic, huh?"
Silicon Valley
"N... no, for real, I'm asking. Is it?"
Silicon Valley
"Feels ironic."
Silicon Valley
"letting me stay here. No worries."
Silicon Valley
"Steve says you're welcome to take my spot on the couch"
Silicon Valley
"Thanks."
Silicon Valley
"and that I need to get a real job"
Silicon Valley
"to learn the value of a... of a hard day's night"
Silicon Valley
"Well, um, I should probably get going to this board meeting."
Silicon Valley
"Um, and you're probably gonna be gone when I'm back, so..."
Silicon Valley
"- guess this is it. - Yeah, I guess so."
Silicon Valley
"- Oh... - Oh..."
Silicon Valley
"Richard, e... even though it's the last board meeting"
Silicon Valley
"thank you for letting me be a part of it."
Silicon Valley
"Okay, you don't have to keep saying that."
Silicon Valley
"of course, the authorization"
Silicon Valley
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