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Clips from Silicon Valley - The Uptick (S03E03)

"I love you."
Silicon Valley
"There. I said it."
Silicon Valley
"All right, stop. Everybody, just stop."
Silicon Valley
"But thank you."
Silicon Valley
"The sale is approved."
Silicon Valley
"Pied Piper, its IP, and all of its assets"
Silicon Valley
"Yes, you know them."
Silicon Valley
"They... wait, they... they had the highest bid?"
Silicon Valley
"I received a telephone call approximately 30 minutes ago"
Silicon Valley
"So... should we give this thing a shot?"
Silicon Valley
"I really think this video chat thing is gonna be something, you know?"
Silicon Valley
"I don't trust you, Richard Hendricks."
Silicon Valley
"Always blue! Always blue!"
Silicon Valley
"- Always blue! Alway... - Aah!"
Silicon Valley
"about restructuring the cap table."
Silicon Valley
"And I'm assuming Pied Piper can't afford my salary,"
Silicon Valley
"Do we really want it to be called Pied Piper anymore?"
Silicon Valley
"No, yes. Of cour... of... of course we want..."
Silicon Valley
"Big Head."
Silicon Valley
"All right, uh..."
Silicon Valley
"You're up."
Silicon Valley
"Always blue! Always blue!"
Silicon Valley
"- Always blue! - Always blue!"
Silicon Valley
"Always blue! Always blue!"
Silicon Valley
"He was very old and depressed."
Silicon Valley
"He'd recently been rescued from the circus,"
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"but as it turns out, he actually really loved performing."
Silicon Valley
"This does not look good."
Silicon Valley
"I'm having a bit of trouble figuring out how to remove him."
Silicon Valley
"Take it out in pieces."
Silicon Valley
"I... I don't mean to interrupt,"
Silicon Valley
"and drop it in the ocean right after dark."
Silicon Valley
"No muss, no fuss."
Silicon Valley
"Was that so hard, Patrice?"
Silicon Valley
"and you put me in danger of losing it all"
Silicon Valley
"Gavin, you always said that"
Silicon Valley
"here at Hooli, In order to achieve greatness,"
Silicon Valley
"we must first achieve goodness."
Silicon Valley
"So?"
Silicon Valley
"So..."
Silicon Valley
"I was a bridesmaid at Sean Parker's wedding"
Silicon Valley
"You're using endangered animals"
Silicon Valley
"just to make points at board meetings."
Silicon Valley
"But couldn't you just show them a picture of these animals?"
Silicon Valley
"A simple Hooli search would yield thousands of choices."
Silicon Valley
"and I will repay you with my own."
Silicon Valley
"You're fired."
Silicon Valley
"Hoover?"
Silicon Valley
"Come in. Have a seat."
Silicon Valley
"Okay."
Silicon Valley
"I can put a kettle on the hot plate."
Silicon Valley
"Oh, no, I'm fine. Thank you."
Silicon Valley
"There's no trouble."
Silicon Valley
"of Russell Stover's if the spiders didn't get into 'em."
Silicon Valley
"Two days ago, I wanted to look"
Silicon Valley
"at user behavior to figure out"
Silicon Valley
"what spurred the sudden uptick,"
Silicon Valley
"were just uploading a single photo"
Silicon Valley
"they would take the photo out and then put it back in"
Silicon Valley
"You know, just enough to qualify as a daily active user."
Silicon Valley
"Classic click-farm behavior."
Silicon Valley
"It's okay."
Silicon Valley
"Would it make you feel better to... to strike me?"
Silicon Valley
"And in a few weeks, when we run out of money,"
Silicon Valley
"this will all be over anyway."
Silicon Valley
"Yeah."
Silicon Valley
"your dicks would have blown"
Silicon Valley
"out of the back of your assholes"
Silicon Valley
"I saved the company."
Silicon Valley
"Yes, but for ordinary reasons."
Silicon Valley
"- Please, go on. - Okay."
Silicon Valley
"I was at The Rosewood for lunch."
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"I was there, I wasn't eating, the usual."
Silicon Valley
"So, I walk over to Andreessen and I say something funny,"
Silicon Valley
"What did you say?"
Silicon Valley
"It doesn't matter. The point is, it was hilarious,"
Silicon Valley
"but he gave me nothing and neither did his friends."
Silicon Valley
"Then I realized why."
Silicon Valley
"You're not funny?"
Silicon Valley
"No, Gilfoyle, but that is."
Silicon Valley
"No, it's that everybody thinks"
Silicon Valley
"so it would be inappropriate to laugh at my hysterical joke."
Silicon Valley
"I know something that they don't."
Silicon Valley
"The uptick?"
Silicon Valley
"The recent sudden surge in users."
Silicon Valley
"to a multiplying effect like a slingshot,"
Silicon Valley
"and then I make a decision."
Silicon Valley
"I'm gonna make a move."
Silicon Valley
"So, I say something cryptic about the uptick,"
Silicon Valley
"and I walk away."
Silicon Valley
"You're gonna have to tuck in your tie-dye"
Silicon Valley
"But the people that I just walked away from don't know that."
Silicon Valley
"exchanging witty banter with McNamee,"
Silicon Valley
"F.O.M.O."
Silicon Valley
"The fear of missing out."
Silicon Valley
"Suddenly, it feels like time is slowing down."
Silicon Valley
"I go outside, I walk across the street"
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"Vinod Khosla calls me, asks me what I doing there."
Silicon Valley
"I say, I can't talk right now. Call me at Wood Opal."
Silicon Valley
"Well, he does, and then suddenly Wood Opal is going,"
Silicon Valley
"What's Khosla got going on with Bachman?"
Silicon Valley
"I deftly played Ross Loma against Index Ventures."
Silicon Valley
"Sequoia."
Silicon Valley
"over and over."
Silicon Valley
"And yes, I'm jacking off, but I don't need to ejaculate"
Silicon Valley
"because by the time I listen to the messages,"
Silicon Valley
"I've got offers, I've got counters,"
Silicon Valley
"When the dust settled..."
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"and the losers went home, all that was left was this."
Silicon Valley
"Hello, Mr. Bachman."
Silicon Valley
"Coleman Blair Partners would like to offer Pied Piper"
Silicon Valley
"on a $60 million valuation."
Silicon Valley
"Oh."
Silicon Valley
"Yeah!"
Silicon Valley
"Holy shit."
Silicon Valley
"Still valid."
Silicon Valley
"Although less sexy now. I'll concede that."
Silicon Valley
"It's my Mona Lisa."
Silicon Valley
"And the entire cornerstone"
Silicon Valley
"that I will forever be remembered for,"
Silicon Valley
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