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Clips from 2 Broke Girls - And the Sax Problem (S05E05)

"Oh... I'm sorry, Max."
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"I know you two were close."
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"Sophie, what's with those needles?"
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"Sophie's starting her fertility shots today."
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"Look out, PTA meetings..."
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"I'll bring the P. She'll bring the T&A."
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"Come on, let's go to the ladies' room"
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"so you can poke me real good."
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"You're not poking her anywhere in here."
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"Thanks to you, the handicap stall is a condom graveyard!"
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"Sophie, you know I'm only afraid of two things..."
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"needles and Kenny Rogers after the eyelift."
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"Someone else will have to give you your shots."
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"Well, I guess I could do it."
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"Roll up your sleeve."
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"I'll roll up my sleeve... and then pull down my Spanx,"
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"And I'm gonna take you now"
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"to show you your first lady butt."
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"Now, there's a heart-warming tableau"
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"that Norman Rockwell somehow missed."
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"Earl! I'm so glad you're alive."
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"You always go straight to dead, Max."
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"But thanks for sending the paramedics."
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"I was stuck on the phone with Barry"
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"from my old jazz band The Early Birds."
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"You may have read about us in "Never Made It" magazine."
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"down at Ruby's,"
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"on Friday night."
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"[gasps] Earl!"
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"One of my dreams is to hear you play live."
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"And the other one already happened..."
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"breakfast all day at McDonald's."
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"Well, I hate to burst your McMuffin, Max,"
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"'cause I'm not invited to play."
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"Ruby doesn't want me there."
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"Oh! What happened between you and Ruby?"
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"Was it a crazy love affair?"
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"Look! [gasps] Earl and The Early Birds!"
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"- Where'd you get that? - I went down the street"
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"to Smart & Vinyl."
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"12.95."
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"Look, we gotta do something about Earl."
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"He deserves to play at that jazz club."
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"I mean, he is the only one at this diner"
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"who has a chance to make it."
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"For as long as I've known Earl,"
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"all he talked about is how proud he was of that band."
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"If I own one."
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"We are going down to that club"
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"I just have to ask..."
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"In body bags."
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"Wow, this place is the real deal!"
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"Look... Ella Fitzgerald, Sarah Vaughan, Nina Simone."
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"You know, there was a moment when I wanted to be..."
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"Was there ever a moment when you wanted to be quiet?"
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"Scotch on the house, please."
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"I hear it was Billie Holiday's poison."
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"You know, there was a moment when I was..."
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"That moment's over."
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"Who wants to see Ruby?"
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"She's coming in real hot, Max."
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"Maybe this isn't a good idea."
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"There's only one old woman who scares me,"
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"I'm Ruby."
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""Miss doesn't invite people to stuff.""
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"Who's also known as Miss Very, Very Pretty."
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"That's what I told Roy Orbison"
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"- Of Earl? - You know, Earl."
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"From The Early Birds."
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"You know, the guy who put this club on the map."
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"Oh, that Earl!"
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"He's a bum!"
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"Girl, you better check yourself!"
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"No one says anything bad about my Earl."
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"for murdering Earl's girlfriend, but..."
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"it's not that strong a preference."
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"Max isn't Earl's girlfriend."
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"Everybody calm down, take a beat."
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"I only have two questions for you..."
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"Why is she so upset?"
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"I'm upset because I know Earl helped build this club,"
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"and he wasn't invited to play your anniversary show."
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"That's right... 'cause he's a bum!"
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"Hold my hoops again!"
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"will never set foot in my club while I'm alive."
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"Here, hold my hoops while I unstrap the pistol on my shoe."
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"I mean, he's just a cashier at a diner now."
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"Earl is more than just a cashier."
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"That is his job, not what he is."
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"How dare you!"
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"Yeah, how dare she!"
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"He's not a cashier. He's a musical genius."
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"Damn it."
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"I can't believe that Earl would end up"
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"Well, I mean, it doesn't have to be a dead-end."
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"He could get out anytime..."
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"him and the other people that work there."
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"But just make sure he shows up and he is sober."
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""high off his ass" or "not in the room.""
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"Okay, I don't know whose hoops are whose."
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"You're playing at the club!"
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"I'm gonna go ahead and call it a comeback."
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"And then I'm gonna go find an outfit that I can take back."
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"So, Earl, obviously, I'll be your date,"
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"and obviously, we'll pretend that we don't know Caroline."
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"I can't believe that you girls went to see Ruby"
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"But there's one problem: I no longer own a saxophone."
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"Aw, Earl, that's too bad."
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"I was really excited to see the show."
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"I think when we went to Ruby's, I caught the jazz bug."
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"In my day, when you caught the jazz bug, you had syphilis."
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"so he can play in the show."
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"Max, if you put this much effort into our life,"
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"we'd be off the cover of "Never Made It" magazine."
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"How's it feel?"
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"Should bring back a lotta memories, huh?"
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"It sure should!"
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"She and I used to have a lot of great talks."
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"Earl, you played with Ella Fitzgerald?"
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"It's possible."
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